Should I tell my manager?

[oxfordinwinter85]

I'm not sure what to do about a colleague at work..

Brief backstory

• she can be very intense ..I don't really enjoy working with her but ah e to for the time being,
• she was moved into a different department to try a new role, as the department she was in found her to take too long over tasks. She also had some falling out with people in emails.
• she likes to send long unnecessary, time wasting emails!

So she has been working with me for over a year now. But the last few times I've worked with her she's been very micro managing and the other day she passive aggressively criticised me in front of another colleague. I normally smile when I work with and do all my tasks and get my work done.
She isn't my boss by the way.

Anyway - I left work feeling both angry and upset.

I ran into the colleague who had overheard her saying to this to me and she described her as toxic and she shouldn't have spoke to me like that. She also said she snapped a bit at her too.

I'm not sure if I should raise it with my boss or would it blow up in my face!?

I just think it's been such a tough few years for everyone and anyone... and this type of crap should not accepted.
Then I think I'm being silly and not rock the boat.

What do you think?

Anyone

I don’t think there’s enough info to really comment. What did she say? How did you respond?
Looking at the bigger picture, what’s the setup? What do you see as a solution?

@NatashaBedwouldbenice thanks for replying.
Sorry I rambled all that out.

She criticised a report that I handed in. There was no plastic cover on it!!

She said it in a really snappy way in front of another colleague.

I said "oh ok I thought covers were not on now (they haven't been)"

"No I've worked hard for this project too and it needs one"

It was all very passive aggressive.

She's also very uptight , talks in a very false smiley way and sends passive aggressive emails - a lot!

She's super competitive and sucks joy out of everything.

What do I do?

That sounds quite difficult to work with.

My first thought is that she's really coming from a place of fear. Fear of being seen as inadequate. Fear that mistakes may be made or that she will be judged (and found lacking).
Knowing that, how might you change your approach to her? If she was a joyless, uber-competitive child, how might you handle her?

My second thought is that you need firm boundaries with her. Be factual:
No I've worked hard for this project too and it needs one
"Do you think? If you want to fetch one I'm dropping it off in 20 minutes"
OR
"Yes. A few of us have worked hard on this. The company have announced we don't have to use plastic covers any more. Let's show them that we're up to date with this approach".

If you're interested in psychology look up "Playful-Resistor", her personality adaptation. (I'm a Responsible-Workaholic )

Also, I had a question. Her process drains you. What recharges you? Is there a colleague or a space or a task that gives you energy at work?

@NatashaBedwouldbenice There are a number of other colleagues who recharge me but they are over in another team.

I've decided not to mention the incident the next time we work together. I'm good to keep a factual and kind of friendly face on it.

She has a reputation of emailing complainants and all sorts of pointless shit.

I do wonder if almost "killing with kindness" would work, whilst protecting your boundaries.