If you cope well with a stressful / high conflict job, come here and tell me how

[BorderCollieMum]

"I quit" doesn't count

I get a buzz from deadlines and enjoy the adrenaline, problem solving and being the one in charge. Get bored easily.

I have a lot of hobbies outside of work which are great for winding down etc.

I'm not sure I cope particularly well with 'toxic' pressure from above or clients but I don't know anyone who does and thankfully I haven't experienced it often.

What do you class as high stress and high conflict?

I’ve been a director in FTSE 100 businesses. Work long hours with lots of demands and constant need to prioritise. Can’t get my work done without very good influencing and stakeholder management.

Humour. Wine. Yoga. Kids and dog.

In more seriousness if it’s high conflict identify relationships that you can influence outcomes and start working those (in an authentic way). It’s if high conflict for the people underneath you too (like your leadership team) figure out what relationship would be helpful to them and once again put the time and effort into building them.

And don’t take yourself too seriously.

Compartmentalise: Symbolically close the laptop when I finish there and leave it behind. No laptops allowed in bedroom.
Hard boundaries: clients are informed when I’m away and that I won’t be contactable unless there’s a fire or a death. Diary is blocked for work time weeks in advance and meetings are only allowed to be booked with me at certain times of day (I do own my own company so have the flexibility to set this up)
Clear outlets for decompression: actively book to spend time with friends at least once a week;
Spend time with my horse every day. Recognise when I’m feeling a bit overwhelmed and step away from the desk to go for a walk, talk to someone etc.
Practice gratefulness: spend a few minutes every day thinking about my blessings.
Spend time planning: I probably spend 4 hours a week planning how to get things done, making sure I have time blocked to do stuff, checki no I’m up to date on actions required for each client. It makes me feel in control and not overwhelmed and means my work sessions are deeply focused from that start
Hope that helps

It depends what you mean by high-conflict - if it's a lot of bickering and cogs not working together properly, or if you're in a job dealing with people's emotional needs eg emergency services and care. If its the latter, de-escalation is key, while trying to understand what is triggering that emotion or reaction. In the former, I try and identify what need isn't being met on both sides and see what I can do to address that, but with the caveat that my teams wellbeing comes first. Some clients/customers are never happy and think that complaining gives them more goods/services/discounts - I'm not going to make my team work evenings and weekends for those sorts of people. I invest more in the relationships where the client appreciates us, as those clients are more likely to be your reliable cheerleaders/references for other work later.

I have learned to remind myself:
It's. Just. A. Job.

Thank you everyone. I'm reading through everything carefully and it's very helpful. Going out for a few hours but will be back later.

Re: high stress / high conflict - it can be however you define it, but for me, hospital consultant in a creaking understaffed system working with complex needs patients and their families. Managing a lot of risk and competing demands with high expressed emotion, responsibility without authority - hopefully you get the idea.

I started going to the gym.

After my own kids were born, i got a bit better at letting go.

Then I came to a came to an acceptance that a lot of the stuff I stressed about was out of my control, so I let more

@TimeFlying

I have learned to remind myself: It's. Just. A. Job.

I was going to say in addition to this "remember, it's (probably) not life and death either" then read your latest post op!

You are not only a doctor though, and I think its important to remember the other parts of yourself when you're feeling burned out.

Take the dog for long walks with interesting podcasts. This literally stops me from dwelling, rehashing and arguing in my head. If I didn't have that to reset my mind, I'd go crackers. Also live in a different town.