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To increase or not to increase hours?

3 replies

ToykotoLosAngeles · 09/02/2022 21:21

When DS was one, I was made redundant, right at the start of Covid. I found another job in a new sector, and have been doing 3 days a week, 7 hours a day, for almost 2 years. DS is now 3 (school in 2023).

My issue is that I really, really struggle with my 2 days off. DS is exhausting. Lovely, generally sleeps (although randomly gets up at 4 every couple of weeks or so), but is on the go 7am-8pm with no nap. He needs walking for miles to tire him out. Covid has Not Helped.

I'm considering putting him in nursery 4 days a week rather than 3 now he is funded.

Pros - I will be happier, less frazzled. Approx £200 more a month after nursery cost plus higher pension contribs. Probably get my exams done quicker. Boss has asked a couple of times if I will be able to do more hours next year.

Cons - 4 days to cover between us if he is ill. Higher childcare bill so "only" £200 gain. Possible regret if he morphs into a calm 4 year old before he starts school. Mum guilt that I would rather be at work when so many mums would kill to work 3 days a week.

DH used to cover the third day by compressed hours when he was 1 to 2, but it didn't work very well as it just meant I had more to juggle into the evenings on the 4 days he worked, so we'd prefer him to stick to 9-5. He already WFH flexi-time but ultimately the job is both new and is 35 hours a week with core hours.

I really can't decide what to do. He likes nursery but ultimately he'd rather be at home an extra day. It feels selfish to send him an extra day when we don't need the money but I am resigning myself to 18 months of feeling a bit low for half the week if not.

OP posts:
BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 09/02/2022 21:23

We could probably get by on me working 3 days a week but I work 5 and use childcare because I am a shit SAHM.

I love my kids. I love my job. I love my kids the same as anyone who does fewer hours.

No one judges a man for this, yet women are somehow conditioned to think that using professional childcare because they want to work more is somehow bad.

ToykotoLosAngeles · 09/02/2022 21:28
Flowers

Thank you. I am also a shit SAHM and had thoroughly had enough of mat leave by 6 months. I think if he'd always gone for more days like so many kids do I'd feel fine, but he does understand days of the week on his wall calendar. We've only just got out of a period where he cried at drop-off again.

It does just feel a bit like giving up a golden egg. There were over a hundred applications for my current job.

OP posts:
EugeniaGrace · 09/02/2022 21:30

I think if you want to work 4 full days a week and he is happy at nursery, then you should up your hours to 4 days a week. It seems like it will be a better balance for you.

Plus you still get 3 days a week with him at home to make special.

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