Feeling sad after return to work post mat leave

[mno3]

I recently returned to work after being on mat leave for a year and I'm finding it really hard.

Before having my daughter, I was very ambitious and completely focused on my career. I worked hard and got myself into a senior management position at a good company at a young age. The salary wasn't great but I found the work very rewarding.

I returned to my job last week and I still feel confident and capable, but I'm finding it all very meaningless. It feels like a waste of time and I keep asking myself 'what am I doing here?'. It's making me very upset and I keep crying.

Mat leave was the best year of my life- even with all of the sleep deprivation and exhaustion etc. I have never been happier or felt more fulfilled.

My daughter is being looked after by family and soon a nanny will start. They care for her well and she seems happy, but she obviously prefers spending her time with her mum.

I never even contemplated not going back to work after mat leave and this has left me feeling very confused. I had plans to get to CEO level and I think I could do it if I carried on working. I feel quite a lot of pressure to continue with my career from family and friends. My parents always encouraged me have a successful and rewarding career and being a stay at home mum was discouraged. My husband has been great and will support me whatever I decide to do, even if it means being worse off financially.

I really don't know what to do and I keep crying so any advice or experiences would be really welcome.

It's so tough. I found it took a good couple of months to get back into it. So don't make any rush decisions would be my advice.

I would give yourself abit time to get into your new routine of work and being a mum.
As pp, I didn't feel settled properly for a couple of month.

I found it took a couple months for me to get back into it. Now I wouldn’t change it. DS absolutely loves his CM and I make a massive effort not to work over (or not much). The time we have together now I so much more special. I have found I have a very good work life balance now since DS came a long.

I took a few weeks to get back into work after mat leave. I'm 9 months back now and I am so glad we persevered. DS loves nursery and I enjoy work again. We are financially better off. The time I have with DS mornings, evenings and weekends is a joy. For us it is win-win.

Could you maybe book of a good chunk of annual leave in a few weeks time to spend with DS? Then put your full efforts into work until then and see how you feel about working / resigning when the leave comes around? I found that helped for us.

I also found it really hard at first - used to cry every morning in the shower.

However you do get more used to it, and find ways to maximise your time together. It was also very necessary for me, because later on my then-DH became unexpectedly ill and unable to work for a period, and then later moved out... If I'd stayed longer as a SAHM it would have been a much bigger hit.

The biggest thing for me is working out what you can choose to either eliminate or outsource - from buying non-iron clothes to bulk cooking and eating as a family instead of making 2 meals a night , to (if you have funds) paying for a cleaner. Having a nanny can be a big difference as you aren't spending so much time and stress on dropoff,.pickup etc - they can also look after some of the child related jobs, like looking after the child's bedding/washing (not family washing), sorting outgrown toys and clothes, and while I'd never ask our nanny to cook a family meal (some have but that's if they wanted to with the kids), they should be able to reheat something that you've made, so that you can all eat as a family after work, maybe not yet but soon - and a daily dinner together can make.a big difference.
If you can move from 5 days to 4 it can feel really positive, but without having to step off the senior track.

Good luck and hang in there.

Thanks so much for all your advice. Going to do what a lot of you suggest and see how the next couple of months go.

Also good tips re maximizing time.

Thanks again x