Sadness

[Ray89ray89]

Hello would just like a non bias opinion as to what to do with my situation. My daughter is 14 and is going through bullying at school, she has hardly any friends. My son is 4 and in 15hrs a week nursery and still at that lovely innocent cuddly, happy stage.
At the moment I work part time for a great boss and love my job/hours (good work/life balance) and I'm able to support my daughter emotionally by being here when she comes home upset from school etc and feel I can make the most of my little boys early years around my current hours.
The problem is, since the cost of living has soared I'm really struggling with money. I can't afford to put the heating on for the kids, we share bath water to save money and we regularly go without things we need to get by.
I've got into a bit of debt from xmas trying to give the kids the best I could. I get no help from Universal credit as I also owe them a lot of money for forgetting to update my address when I moved home. So, Im faced with the need to go back full time. I've been offered a full time job by my old boss which I'm very greatful for but after tax I'll only make an extra 100pnd a month. I know money is money but for that I have to walk 3 miles to work, 3 miles home (all weathers) to make it financially viable (no transport costs), my job includes standing all day and I'll be out of the house from 7.30 until 6.30 monday to friday. Its exhausting- I know because I've done it before.
My daughter will leave an empty house in the morning (as I'll have already left) and return to an empty house and be alone until 6.30 when I return after collecting my son from childcare. I worry about this with her current situation at school.
I'll have to pretty much put my son straight to bed by the time I get home so won't get much time with him... and I may get a chance to eat some food at some point around making packed lunches, laundry and if I have the energy to.
The top and bottom of it all is... what.is.the.point.in.this.life? So much exhaustion and hardship for an extra 25pnd a week? My kids will still have to go without, 25pound only stretches so far.
The hilarious irony is, I have worked and studied all my adult life and still can't get a well paid job 🤷‍♀️ one that makes the sacrifice of time worth it.
I feel like I'll be a workhorse and still not afford the heating, clothes and food. I'll hardly see my children all week and we'll still be poor.
How do I make the best of this situation?
I can stay as I am working part time, financially struggling (only to get worse in april when nat insurance goes up, and energy bills by another 30%) 😱 but being there for my kids. Or go back full time, claw a little bit more money in, hardly see my kids, be exhausted and still poor but its a stepping stone up to a better job and better life, right?
This country is upside down 🙃...
For the record I'm not afraid to work hard, but at least make it worthwhile Boris Johnson!!

What a horrible decision to have to make. It really doesn’t seem worth full time for just £25 - on the other hand £25 is half a weekly shop in some cases!

I have no clue what I would do in that situation, and I’ve spent plenty of time doing without, I’m trying to think if there is another topic you could repost in where some more knowledgeable people would be able to see and offer their suggestions. Maybe brave it in AIBU for the traffic?

I nearly didn’t read though as, from your title in the Back to work section, I assumed it would be someone moaning about having to go back to the office after WFH since the start of the pandemic!

It sounds really tough. Just giving a bump in the hope someone can come along and offer some advice. It would be lovely to just stay as you are, their childhood is time you can’t get back, but the reality is that costs are going to continue to increase. I hope the situation for DD improves, it’s so hard when you see your DC suffering.

I think I would try and stay as you are and try some other changes. There might be places such as fareshare who do free food pantries nearby. I have just seen in the news there is to be some kind of targeted support for heating as well...make sure you are getting all the benefits you are entitled to (I see you are are getting UC) also I have found an app helpful recently called Too good to go which is food bags for end of the day food you can pick up. All the best

I would stay in your present job OP. Your DD needs your support.

I would not do that for £25 per week. Have you looked at the threads in here about making a bit of extra cash. Could you find some work that could be done from home when kids are in bed. When I was struggling when kids were little I discovered that leather shoes sold well on eBay so I would go to jungle sales and but then for£1 pair and then list on eBay. A couple of pairs sold for£25 each as we're Clarks and good condition. Check out Martin's money matters to make sure you have best value for money on everything. Some banks will give you £100 just to have your wages paid in each month. Find when local shops clear their stock in evening and buy then when things are 20/30 p. Some shots are better than others. Get the app where neighbours advertise stuff they are giving away or the app where people collect from supermarkets and give away free.
There are always ways of making a bit more and saving a bit.

You must owe an awful lot of money to UC to not be getting anything from them especially with childcare costs.
I would ring and speak to Uc debt management and see if you can get the repayments reduced- tell them you are in financial hardship.