Anxiety around work

[FairyLightQueen]

I'm a early career arts freelancer and late last year I had a contract which pretty much destroyed my confidence. Looking back I probably didn't have the support needed from said organisation but I've now developed huge anxiety issues around going to work.

I've picked up new contracts now and I NEED to do my work but every time I think about getting to my desk I feel like I'm going to have a panic attack. I honestly feel like everything I do is awful and wrong and I should just stop because I'm never going to succeed.

Most of my self-confidence was attached to my work as I really believed in myself before that contract and now it's shot I feel like I don't have anything going for me, to the point where I'm dealing with quite scary intrusive thoughts.

HELP! How do I tackle this and get back to feeling like me?

I think you could definitely benefit from CBT in some way. I was confident in my work before suffering burnout due to my workload changing and increasing dramatically during covid, plus no support from management or colleagues.
I was provided an online CBT course through my work's employee assistance programme when I disclosed the anxiety and stress I was feeling. The NHS Live Life To the Full website provides something similar. It really helped me look at myself and my feelings objectively and gave me my confidence back.