Lazy or unmotivated

[Ann090882]

I haven’t worked for 9 years since my 3 children were born. I’m very lucky that I don’t have to work. But I’m just so bored. I sit in the house all day and I don’t even want to do the housework or any errands anymore: I just feel so unmotivated. I feel like I don’t have a purpose or bring any value to this relationship. I’ve done several courses over the last few years online and gained numerous qualifications but something stops me starting up businesses. I think it’s because it’s been so long I lack confidence. My husband doesn’t really get it. He is one of these go get it types. He’s ambitious, confident and a workaholic. I don’t know what’s wrong with me: I’m bored, sad, lonely, lazy, unmotivated. All of the above. I have a lovely life with a nice house, a nice car. I daren’t complain to anyone I know as they just roll their eyes. I want to snap out of it but I feel in such a rut. I have no one to talk to. I want to be a role model for my children.

I think you need some friends who are in a similar fortunate position that you can 'hang out' with, will get you a bit more motivated to get out and do something and might motivate something in the longer term.

In your shoes, I'd get a part time job in an office/shop or whatever - something to get you up and out in the mornings (assuming that your DC are all at school or go to nursery some days). It almost doesn't matter what the job is and whether it's worthwhile financially - it's more about putting a structure in place to get you out of the rut.

The busier I am, the better I am at getting things done. I have a definite inverse relationship between time and productivity. The more time I have on my hands, the more lethargic I am and less likely to do ANYTHING.

Would you consider a voluntary role - supporting others less fortunate? A food bank/charity shop/Homestart/prisoner family helpline? There is a great sense of achievement and fulfilment in offering your skills to others