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my boss is shagging my bitchy colleague

14 replies

93sdb · 16/01/2022 00:27

so my boss.. lets call him John. Weve always got along okay. He is a bit of a joker but he is professional when he needs to be. We have always had a pretty good relationship and banter but he pulls rank when he needs to and I am fine with that. I work in a wonderful kind hearted team. We support each other and those we work with. It was idealic.

Now a year or so ago I wrote a report to ask for another worker to work within my role due to the large workload. We got her and we will call her Kate.

When she first arrived we got on well but I found as time went on Kate tended to slag off all of my lovely colleagues to me so I decided to keep my distance and leave her to it. I spoke to my boss about it in the past who asked me to keep an eye on it.

Now I think they are having an affair. Both have partner and children but that isn't my business.

We work with vulnerable people and due to this we need a good and positive work environment. However, Kate has alienated herself from the team. Whatever I hear about her it's always that she had made a nasty comment about someone and we are all scared to talk infront of her of fear of how she will use it against us.

Her and my boss leave for lunch seperately but always return together. They will sit together at every oppotunity and flirt freely infront of us all. On our christmas do they left for two hours without telling anyone and took leave on the same day only for my colleague to catch them together.

Kate is creating an extreamely toxic work environment. She also does a lot less work in comparison to the rest of us and bitches about it all the same. She continues to say nasty things about us all to one another which is difficult. We all agreed to try to be really nice to her to make her feel more intigrated but she then called us all 'pathetic' to one another for doing this.

I went to my team leader (one below my manager) who said she would keep an eye on it but she has done nothing yet. I can't go to my managers manager as they are close and don't want to create unneccisary chaos.

My manager has done this before and I spoke to him about it then and he was defensive so I don't feel this is an option.

I feel stuck. I love my job, my team and I have been here a long time but do not feel confortable when Kate is around. I don't know what to do. Please give me suggestions!

OP posts:
Lolabray · 16/01/2022 09:09

Hiya first of all, my advice would be this time will pass. Kate sounds so toxic and it sounds like things will blow up in her face. I also have a Kate at work. I just smile and don’t really get into conversation with the bitchy cow.

I don’t trust her with a barge pole and she has not made my experience in the team great.

If you can don’t get involved. The affair will get exposed. I feel for you as I don’t know what to say. Can you get yourself some crystals for protection or say a prayer to at Michael for protection before you go into work so it doesn’t get to you.

What a shame if you love your job. If she’s such a bitch karma will come and get her.

UserBot314159 · 16/01/2022 09:13

Oooooh do nothing is my advice.

R0tational · 16/01/2022 09:21

Twats. Stay out if it.

Chickenwing2 · 16/01/2022 09:37

I'd send an anon email to manager's manager or HR.

heelforheelandtoefortoe · 16/01/2022 15:07

I'd send an anonymous message to their partners. I'd want to know if I were them. Also contact HR and report it.

Veeveeoxox · 16/01/2022 15:13

Look for another job life's too short for all the drama.

MrMrsJones · 16/01/2022 15:13

Send a message to the partners

Especially the annual leave the same day, the coming back from lunch together

Conspiracyornotr · 19/01/2022 19:11

Have you not got a confident work line to report stuff. ?

SailingNotSurfing · 19/01/2022 19:16

You don't actually know that they are shagging, do you? And you definitely don't like Kate. Rise above her nasty little digs, and concentrate on your own work. You sound as if you don't have a good work/life balance if problems at work are overflowing into the evening, when you should be relaxing.

Joined4this · 19/01/2022 19:20

Hou need to stay professional. If someone said openly rude things to me I would laugh in their face. Anyway, I would try the subtle approach. Oh I watched The Scarlet Letter last night. You know about that woman who commits adultery. Have you seen it? Lucky they don’t do that these days, isn’t it? (Knowing look) etc etc.

mobear · 19/01/2022 19:21

If they are shagging it will probably end badly and fizzle out. I’d wait it out in your position.

Bonnealle · 19/01/2022 19:31

Unfortunately you can’t always work with people you like.

expensiveshite · 25/01/2022 10:15

I know that 'rise above it' is the right thing to do, however I would absolutely drop your boss an anonymous note saying 'office affairs are so cliche' and then watch from the sidelines as he freaks out.

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