Should I send a pre-emptive apology?

[BrimfulOfBaba]

I was promoted about a year ago and have been struggling with the workload, especially as I'm short-staffed. I have been burned out and was sometimes so overwhelmed that I completely shut down and couldn't progress on any tasks. It hadn't been noted as I always managed to deliver.

However some of my inaction is coming back to bite me in the bum in ways I can't immediately fix. I am working my way through it, but I am so stressed and upset at myself. I completely recognise I should have asked for help, I just felt so inadequate and wanted to see if I could just pull through.

Should I email/talk to my line manager to explain what the past few months have been like for me, that things have slipped and that I'm working towards fixing it? We are recruiting more support for me and my team. For context I am middle-management in the public sector, and have been feeling a need to 'keep swimming' as I am young to be the grade that I am and wanted to prove I deserved the promotion. I am realising I probably didn't :(

If you are CS / public service - absolutely talk to your line manager (and really surprised that your line manager hasn't noticed or checked in to see how you were coping with a limited team). I think that in many cases they will understand and help you + you may be able to get support in terms of staff etc sooner rather than later. I always thinking owning up to any mistakes or risks sooner rather than later shows your maturity and strength whether than weakness. I ran a whole series for my CS department on 'making it ok to fail' and brought in very senior people to showcase their mistakes and then how they addressed and fixed them. That's the key part! So please do speak up and get some support. Please also don't lie to yourself and say you dont deserve your promotion. If you got the job, they certainly think you are capable and deserve it. Women sell themselves short all the time in promotions!

Do you have the opportunity to have 1-2-1 meetings with your line manager, as that's where I would raise this type of issue.
This shouldn't all be down to you.
Your line manager also has responsibilities in knowing how you are coping (or not) with your workload.

I'm not in CS, it would be akin to a Council (trying to be vague). My manager heads my division, but I am the manager for my whole team/area of work, let's say marketing. So she depends on my perspective on that area.

I do have regular-ish 1:1's with her but because I myself hadn't realised how much I was deluding myself about my ability to cope, I didn't really let on just how bad things had gotten. We did accelerate the process of creating a new role which I am grateful for but I won't see the results of that for a few months.

I feel a bit calmer as today had thrown up 2 crises that wouldn't have been an issue if I had just forwarded emails onto people a month ago, but I am working through them and apologising wherever I can. I still feel like somebody will complain about me directly to her soon and wonder if I should give her a heads up and own up first.

Oh OP, I feel your pain and I know I've been doing much the same - some issues feel too big to get my brain around so I sit on them... then they become urgent and the pressure feels overwhelming. I know it well.

I would just get in front of it if you can. You don't need to fall on your sword, but you can say how overwhelmed you and your team have been and as a result, you've had to prioritise and some things have fallen further down the list than you'd have liked. Outline the things you're doing to prioritise them now and what proactive steps you're taking. It's not ideal and you have caused an issue or two, but nothing that's insurmountable.

Stop giving yourself such a hard time - these have been incredibly difficult times and you've still been working and doing your best, even if it doesn't feel like it.

Thank you, I think I will do just that @BreathingDeep. I have a better handle now on where things have slipped and will be able to explain how I'm managing each slip by the end of the day. I had absolutely horrible news about a family member yesterday, too, so I probably need to indicate I may need some extra support in the short term.

Thank you to all who replied for your empathy and kindness, it has really helped more than you know. @Hawse @Bumply