Pay rise vs new job

[Fizzibility]

I've been in my current job for 6 years, got a few pay rises during this period but nothing substantial. I've been trying to get a promotion but despite being qualified for it I keep being fobbed off. Last year I worked my ass off and management knows it. I really enjoy the job and the company but I feel unappreciated and underpaid.

An ex colleague approached me and asked if I fancy a new job. They offered a better salary but the company isn't as nice. My appraisal is scheduled for the next few weeks and I feel bad saying I have been offered a better salary when in reality I don't want to accept the new job but at the same time I feel I am currently underpaid. The new company is putting pressure on me to make a decision now and I won't have time to wait till my appraisal, how can I make it work?

I think pay discussions are sometimes one of those 'what would a man do in the same position? Do that' situations.

I work for myself now but prior to that, whenever I was adding value to a company's bottom line and performing over and above, I felt comfortable initiating a pay discussion. Unfortunately socialisation means that many women feel uncomfortable about these discussions - something I passionately encouraged the women I managed to think about and act on.

If I had another offer from a company, even if I wasn't sure I wanted it, I would ask for a meeting with my manager to initiate discussions.

I wouldn't have done so if I wasn't confident in the value I added, but you say that you're performing well and have had the carrot of a payrise dangled in front of you.

I would ask for your appraisal to be brought forward and discuss it then.

You feel unappreciated and underpaid. It sounds like you are both those things. If you have the discussion and your current company are unwilling to give you a payrise that reflects your contribution and commitment, then start proactively looking elsewhere as it sounds like you're a great asset with great work ethic.

Thank you @youvegottenminuteslynn some interesting insights there. I will ask for my appraisal to be brought forward if needed and have a discussion.