Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Work

Chat with other users about all things related to working life on our Work forum.

Original poster

kickstarting a career which never started!

23 replies

interferingma · 08/01/2022 07:18

My son is a big hairy chap who is 26. Graduated from Cambridge with an english degree a few years ago. Since then has had a couple of proper jobs - recruitment and charity sector. And now, thanks to a move with his new wife finds himself teaching rich asian students online. He knows he's under-performing and it's doing his head in slightly and finally he's started to admit it and reach out for advice. But I don't know what to advise!
How can he get back on track? Is it too late? i see my friends' children with 'proper' jobs and wonder what will become of my boy.
I don't really know what I'm asking. I think his confidence is shot and he is in a mire. How does one re-direct one's career? Am I asking dumb question? He is ringing for a 'chat' aka advice later. He never asks for advice from me! I want to say the right things!

OP posts:
Original poster
interferingma · 08/01/2022 07:20

And so as not to drip feed I ought to say he was an easy peasy teen and student. We threw him into his local comp and he got on with it. Never needed help or hand holding. Suddenly I feel he does!

OP posts:
Haus1234 · 08/01/2022 07:21

It might be worth him speaking to the Cambridge careers service - they should still be happy to help him and might have some interesting ideas. It doesn’t sound like he knows what he wants to do which is the key issue! Did he like his previous jobs?

Haus1234 · 08/01/2022 07:22

www.alumni.cam.ac.uk/benefits/careers-service

Adamsants · 08/01/2022 07:23

Does he like teaching?

Username7521 · 08/01/2022 07:25

26 is not too old to restart a career.
But what does he want to have a career in exactly? What interests him? That’s key to a good career as you’re always stimulated and learning

Turmerictolly · 08/01/2022 07:26

Does he like teaching? That would seem the obvious way forward if he can afford to train. The online Morrisby profiling tests might be worth investing in too. It's a series of tests which narrow down possible careers based on interests, personality and aptitude.

Original poster
interferingma · 08/01/2022 07:27

OH! I wasn't aware they could still access their careers service. That's a thing is it? That's fabulous. Thank you.

OP posts:
MimiDaisy11 · 08/01/2022 07:30

Yeah at my uni they said you can always access career services. I assume it’s the same there. Also there’s no age limit for graduate schemes for companies so if there’s something he wants to do he can still apply for it. I applied for an accountancy company graduate scheme at his age as an example.

Haus1234 · 08/01/2022 07:31

@interferingma

OH! I wasn't aware they could still access their careers service. That's a thing is it? That's fabulous. Thank you.
Yeah, if you give him the link I sent it should be easy for him to set up. I can’t promise they’ll be helpful but it’s worth a try - I would suggest he has a think about skills, what he enjoys etc beforehand!
Original poster
interferingma · 08/01/2022 07:33

@Haus1234 no he didn't. He covered for maternity leave for a corporate fundraising role at a development charity. Then 'fell' into specialist academic recruitment - vice chancellors etc - and because the company was new it suffered during the first covid lockdown (they'd taken on expensive new premises at the wrong time) and he was let go. But yes he didn't particularly enjoy either role.
@Username7521 he enjoys writing. And he can write. Really well. But lacks the confidence to submit his stuff to publishers. I suspect he will one day. But in the meantime needs something to keep body and soul together and contribute to the household bills!
I wonder whether its too late to try academia. When he left Cambridge he said he was done with study - it's a bit of a treadmill I think - but he is quite pointy headed. Maybe a bit of a dreamer. Saying that he's also very practical. And he's a people person. Very open and can be engaging and kind. Maybe that is teaching. I don't know!

OP posts:
Original poster
interferingma · 08/01/2022 07:38

Thank you all for your positive input so far. i was worried about getting flamed for being a weird helicopter mum. I'm absolutely not. In face I rather wish I had been, then he might not be in this pickle!

OP posts:
meteoric · 08/01/2022 07:39

Talking to a careers adviser sounds like a good idea. If he's badly lacking in confidence, what about university admin roles or civil service? I have a few friends who benefited from those - relatively safe and secure roles, but good confidence boosters.

bingot · 08/01/2022 07:50

I'm going against the popular answers, so here goes:

He can use the rich online job to buy the things like a house (if he doesn't have one already), save enough for real estate, start a business etc.

when he is at the top, those same friends with the “proper” jobs will be envious.
Because a lot of people are in proper jobs and are unhappy and still struggling to make ends meet.

Once money is not an issue, he can always find a job if he wants or re-train.

Importantly, what makes him happy? Would he be fine working for less than his current income in a proper job?

Is there a proper job he can do which will pay him the same or more than his current income?

If his main priority is a proper job, and money is not an issue, he can re-train in an another area. For eg. IT, law, teaching.

Ultimately, it depends on what's important to him currently and what makes him happy.

Haus1234 · 08/01/2022 07:57

@bingot

OP doesn’t say that the current job is very well paid - I suspect if it’s TEFL then it’s quite the opposite! The post states the students are rich not OPs son.

Original poster
interferingma · 08/01/2022 08:01

It absolutely isn't well paid. But he's scared of stopping the little income he has coming in to retrain.

OP posts:
Namenic · 08/01/2022 08:09

Get him to look on jobs websites to see what is out there. I work in tech and there are lots of non-tech jobs that involve people. Business analysts talk to internal and external stakeholders to as them what their requirements are for a project. There are technical writing roles, writing content for web pages.

Original poster
interferingma · 08/01/2022 08:14

@Namenic technical writing roles sounds good. Presumably freelance too so could still keep some teaching going to keep the pennies coming in. But he'll come back at me with his 'lack of experience'. I just don't know how to shovel him into to the right place! Thank you though. I will add to list!

OP posts:
SwanShaped · 08/01/2022 08:20

Which bits of all his jobs so far has he liked. The fundraising, recruitment and teaching.

PermanentTemporary · 08/01/2022 08:24

I was at Cambridge a thousand years ago and it has taken me sooooo long to get anywhere - at 26 I had only just established that the area of work I loved was healthcare (specifically, working in hospitals) and at that time I was working for £8k a year which denied back then was pretty low. I'm afraid I was 42 before I could genuinely say I was in the right job, though I had a lot of fun in the meantime.

Thank God in all that time I didn't have social media because I'm sure he's seeing many friends earning fat pay in big corporate roles or directing Benedict Cumberbatch and Dame Judy in a challenging new work etc. I remember the horror of the 10 years college reunion too well. So my suggestion would be to delete social media.... or at least to realise very well that some people do this stuff and he is OK too. The 15 year reunion is much better as people start going through crap in life and become nice again.

He is allowed to do what he finds good. He's earning a living. The careers service is an excellent idea. Another good idea is using his network - reach out to people in different jobs and ask to meet for a drink and talk through the reality. His current work feels quite flexible - could he look for shadowing opportunities? Is there anything he likes about his current work at all, could he build on that? Has he ever felt 'imin the right place but the wrong role'? I felt that about hospitals - the right place means a lot?

Can you offer any financial support if he wants to retrain or do something very thin on income like write for a year?

Original poster
interferingma · 08/01/2022 08:38

@PermanentTemporary We could offer some financial support but I don't really want to because in some ways he's lucky - his wife is earning good money. To that extent I don't really know why he's stalling at the thought of retraining - possibly because he doesn't know what to do
He's not really a social media chap so I don't think he's comparing. In fact I think a couple of his Cambridge friends are also floundering - or rather trying to make inroads into stuff like writing, and earning very little.
I think confidence though is a big issue. Not sure why because (naturally!) I think he's brilliant!

OP posts:
PermanentTemporary · 08/01/2022 08:39

No, makes sense re financial support. I'd imagine he just doesn't know what he wants to do and all the options sound terrible Grin what does his wife do?

Original poster
interferingma · 08/01/2022 08:46

She has a well paid policy role with a public body, with ambitions to move upwards and onwards soon. Not sure of income but I'd guess at 40k. So not poor. He probably only brings in about 1k a month though I don't know. But jointly they're not poor.

OP posts:
Namenic · 08/01/2022 09:01

OP - there are permanent roles for technical writing or website content. He just needs to search online - he may be constrained by area though depending on wife’s job. Just have a look at what is out there - to get ideas of what to build up to. He can then decide what kind of entry levl jobs to try for or if he needs to do courses or training.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page