Return to work and feeling depressed about it

[Butterfly2105]

Hi guys,

I know it’s pretty normal but I’m feeling pretty depressed about going back to work - in 2 days to be exact. I’m going back 5 days a week to a new job and I really don’t want to work 5 days a week but needs must. I have got a new job (should be a lot less stressful) and I do get part of the school holidays off, I have to work a bit of them.

I’m just really struggling with the fact that I’ll only get 2 hours with my baby a day as I have to leave at 7am so hubby will be doing everything in the morning and I’ll do the pick up.
I’m already going to bed early 8:30/9 as I’m so tired. I love exercising but unless I get up at 5am or do it when my baby is in bed it won’t work and I really need my sleep so I also need to prioritise this as I literally cannot function without sleep and I start a new job so I need all the brain power I can get!

I know there’s weekends but I don’t know how I’m meant to do everything as I don’t want to sacrifice the little time I have with my baby and it feels like my life is over in the sense that I don’t feel like I have any time for me. I’ve already done nothing for me since baby has been born and he is my priority but it also makes me feel depressed at the thought of all of this.

I’m not sure there’s any advice but would be nice to know how others deal with this as it’s putting a strain on my relationship too as it makes me feel sad and angry about it all. I know alot of others have no choice but to work 5 days a week or maybe more. It just sucks.

I’ve had some other struggles post natally due to lack of support and it seems friends (what friends) aren’t interested anymore and have been a bit nasty so I guess I feel lonely too.

Thanks xx

Have you sat down with your husband and worked out your new routine? You don't say what hours he is working, but there must be a way to give each of you a bit of 'me time' during the day, when you could fit in some exercise, even if it's only 30 mins.

Once you're in a routine you might not feel so tired and be able to stay up a bit later. Is your baby at the stage where you have to get up in the night? If not, going to bed at 10 and getting up at six would give you a potential 8 hours' sleep.

Hi OP,

I’m going back to work after maternity leave in a few days time aswell it’s a new job for me too. I’m having a phased start but I’ll be back up to 5 days a week by the end of this month. DS is 6.5 months old. I need to go back to work because my DH had a fixed term contract that ended and I was only getting SMP.

DS is having a phased start to nursery and will also be there full time by the end of this month (with the aim that DH will have found a job hopefully by then).

Do you want to chat about it over the next few weeks?

Right now I’m thinking that we really need to start meal planning and being more organised around food. Long term I’d like to get a cleaner but will obviously need to wait until DH is back in work aswell.

I also have no idea what to do about exercise, was thinking about going for walks during my lunch break

I remember those days, it really was tough but you’ll manage better than you think you will I promise.
I used to get up at five to run and I loved that hour to myself, music on and off I went.
The short time in the evening I made real quality time, 100 percent focussed on the little ones.
Working again might make you feel ‘ more like you’, you never know.
Sending you a huge supportive unmumnetty hug.

Hi,

Well we kind of have discussed it, I’ll be setting off at 7am to start at 7:30. I’m meant to work 7.5 hours a day but the lady in the job at the moment seems to do more. I am hoping to work through my lunch and finish at 4pm but I think I might be needed later in which case it could be anytime so long as I’m at nursery for 6pm. Then I want to do supper, bath and bed for 7pm. Then ideally tea as I’m an early eater, then we said we’d try and get all the jobs done in the evening so weekends are more free. We do have a dog too so hubby will be walking the dog as soon as we wake up whilst I’m with baby then we’ll switch so I can get ready and leave the house. The dog will need walking in the evening which my hubby normally does but I guess that might have to be my exercise as I don’t want to eat my tea too late (bit of a hardcore exerciser prior to pregnancy - doing hardly anything now except walking which doesn’t do much for stress relief as I’m used to more intense exercise). My hubby’s mum is in a care home and we do look after his dad a bit too as he is lonely since mum has gone into a care home. Hubby says to take it as it comes.

Yes please! Fingers crossed your DH gets a job soon.
A cleaner is a good idea, do you have any idea how much they cost and what they actually do?
I guess it just feels overwhelming!!
I am hoping to work through my lunch break so I don’t have to work as late!
Good luck with the new job and that’s good that you’re on a phased start x

The dog will need walking in the evening which my hubby normally does but I guess that might have to be my exercise

That's a great idea. You could make it a brisk walk or, unless your dog is elderly and slow, a jog.

I occasionally use my mums cleaner and that’s £36 for 3 hours. She does the bathroom, tiles etc. all the floors, dusting and if she has time she does kitchen cupboards as well.

How old is your DC?

I’m wfh for now because of covid but will be moving to hybrid working later on. I am in the office on my first day though! I’m quite nervous about leaving the house on time 😂