Assertiveness at work

[themuttsnutts]

Does anyone have any tips for assertiveness at work?

Example scenarios include managers demanding a task be done right now when I'm right on the cusp of finishing another task (i,e. 2 to 3 minutes).

Being given a job to do 5 minutes before lunch.

Nitpicking criticism.

Staff on the same level as me trying to manage me or offer feedback when I have been at the company a long time and probably know more than them

Watching with interest. I'm assertive to most people but there are a few who I just don't know how to handle their unreasonable requests without causing conflict.

How do you handle these things at the moment?

I get labelled as aggressive at work so you might need to adapt!

If you get asked to do a piece of work over another just clarify it, "I'm 95% completed on task a but can adapt as needed. Would you like me to complete task b as a priority?" This buys you some extra time on task a even thought it can be annoying. Same for if you get given a task before lunch.

Sometimes it's just a crappy culture with poor leadership so you'd be better off leaving or making peace with turning up and going home and not having lots of power or autonomy.

For nitpicking and colleagues feedback sometimes this comes back to communication. I'm very much of the personality type to just do stuff and only say something if it's not going to get done. But a lot of people need lots of info about what's going on, all the time. Just be proactive on this the more you do it, the more others stick up for you or say it's ok - I've got this. And if anyone is rude or bitchy a calm, "how so, can you clarify?" is helpful.

My other fave phrases are "thank you, feedback is a gift" (big smile) for annoying condescending colleagues. Other good ones in meetings are "I appreciate the comment, let's capture that idea/question/comment and come back to it".

Don't gossip, complain or hide. It's just work. Turn up, go home and don't let the bastards grind you down!

Example one: say to boss, I'll just finish this. It will take 2-3 minutes at the most. Boss argues and says it needs to be done now, really, so I just repeat my point until she reluctantly agrees.

Example two: sorry, I don't have time because I have x, y, z to finish before I go whereby supervisor gets shirty and huffs that she will do it herself and I just carry on with the job I am doing and she does the job herself, though clearly not happy.

With nitpicking criticism, I will agree to put it right, if it has a grain of truth but it will irritate me inwardly if it seems petty. If I don't agree with it, I will say why but, if they continue to argue with me, I'll just take it on board to resent the pettiness.

Last one occurred the other day. I said but that is not what I was asked to do and then he offered a criticism about apparently putting something back in the wrong place to which I said but I was just following what others had done and thought its place had just moved, which often happens over Christmas. I advised he check with the manager then he said huffily that he would move it back. Later, he came and told me I was right, to which I said I thought so. Then I was doing some other tasks and he was trying to instruct me to which I was getting really irritated and said that I was very experienced in this area. I ended up moving to another area and saw him looking at me from the corner of his eye and suggesting that that task wasn't necessary but another one was when I wasn't even doing what he was assuming I was doing and the task was necessary. I just said 'don't worry, I've got it all under control.' Eventually, I moved out of his sight and when I came back, he was sucking up to me saying 'if anyone know, themutts does.' I was actually on the verge of complaining to a manager over this one but didn't as they were very busy.

Ok I just have to finish this and I’ll start on that right away so give me 5 minutes.

Ok is it urgent because I am due on lunch (5 -15 minute thing I’d do and then move my lunch slightly)

Colleagues-I just look at them then go back to doing my job correctly.

Thanks, Bashful. I guess I am doing it right. Just having a bit of a wobble

It's hard to know whether you are being difficult or your colleagues. I value feedback - it's hard to take sometimes but it makes me better at my job and I'd rather hear it than have someone think it and say nothing - but I work with very professional people who don't have time to bring up issues that don't matter and I have worked in petty-minded places before and it's soul-destroying.
If someone asked me to do something urgently (I'd take it that a colleague or manager using this language knew what urgent meant in the context) I'd do it - unless my other task was deemed equally as urgent, I'd use my judgment before wasting everyone's time by starting a debate about it - I ask colleagues, managers, even directors to do things urgently and they do - they don't argue about the need - they trust it is urgent and if they are really busy will ask if sometime later would work - we are in solution mode and we are all pulling in the same direction.
I can't tell if it's you or your colleagues or the workplace you are in - but I would not want to work with someone who felt as angry and reactionary as you seem to, maybe you need a change.

If my boss says 'do this now' I will mention finishing off X but if they say 'no do Y now', I do Y now.

If I have a task to finish, I usually talk to my manager and discuss which she wants done first however it can get tricky if you are working for multiple people.

Yes, that's it. We have a few managers and it's very fast paced. I am used to things changing at the drop of a hat as this is the environment. However
what I'd like to avoid, where I can (which I am sure the managers would agree on), is to have multiple unfinished tasks. It creates a very chaotic situation in the end.

From what I've seen in real life, would have thought this would be a common problem. We meet tricky people in all kinds of situations- even in the so called professions. It would be a great tonic to have a safe place to exchange strategies which save us all from internalising things or bringing them home

For anyone else who might find this useful:

It is not just about managers (nor was my thread)

www.theguardian.com/careers/careers-blog/how-to-deal-difficult-people-at-work

@themuttsnutts I’ve been there, chose to perform those tasks/urgent tasks/multiply tasks as best as I can. Asked for a feedback when needed, improved, Didn’t complain, but after certain time wrote everything shortly and detailed asking to review my salary. It worked out each time. But I believe it depends a lot in what sector/are you work.

@themuttsnutts some good advice here . Some people are desperate to boss others around, even if they are the same level as them. They are a bit sad and best given a hard stare or look over your spexs if you have them.

@logoutnow OP doesn't sound reactionary at all. You sound insufferable .

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