To take the job or not?

[Lushmetender]

Offered a new job but incredibly sad time for me due to DM bereavement and soon to be DF due to terminal cancer. I’m not sure I’ll be at my best or have the same rights I have with my current job when facing the uncertainty around DF. Anyone experienced this? I’ve not been enjoying current job for ages either?

I'd probably stay put and look for something when you've the headroom.
If you've been there q while you'd hope they'd treat you well with special leave etc.
You probably wouldn't want to appear flakey in a new job where nobody knows you.
Sorry for your troubles

I’d be honest with the new job. I’d love to take the role (assuming you would), I just want to talk through a small thing first. My father is terminally ill and I expect I’ll need some time off in the relatively near future for end of life plans/funeral arrangements/sorting his affairs. Is that something you’d be able to accommodate? And really listen to the answer.

I pulled out of a new job a week before starting when my DF died. 4 years on and I'm convinced it was the right move as the following 12 months were so tough for me, I had an unexpected health issue is my own and just functioning from day to day was an achievement. I had a couple of amazingly supportive colleagues who carried me through the 9 months after his death.

Saying this, I knew there would be plenty of other opportunities in future and I did then change jobs 12 months later, and managed to fit in a 4 week gap between jobs for much needed time just to recharge.

Sorry to hear you're going through this

Talk to the employer and be honest. If they really want your skill set they may be prepared to wait 6mths for you?

I suppose consider how demanding the new job might be if you are going through a difficult time? For example, will there be a lot of new things to learn, higher expectations or more pressure, new responsibilities? If so then it might not be the right time to ask so much of yourself,
I’d ask the questions as others have suggested above, you never know what their response will be. They could be a really compassionate employer who really wants you.

My DM was diagnosed with terminal cancer just as I was offered a new job. I took it and explained to them the situation. They couldn't have been more supportive through the whole process and ultimately then when she passed away. Talk to them about it OP, you've got nothing to lose.

Sending for you.

Dad died this year and to be honest I was quite surprised by how much it affected me - I know that sounds daft but he was very old, had been ill for a while and it was better for him but I developed anxiety and I really could not get my head straight - I'd have really struggled with a new job, it took a good month for me to able to work even close to properly.

Yes it’s been just over 2 weeks since mum died and it is not hitting me and not sleeping too great. I’d love the idea of a fresh start but with my dad terminal I don’t see myself getting on a level anytime soon😿