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Mother & daughter working together - how to deal with this issue

6 replies

Limelon · 27/12/2021 01:26

Daughter (late 20's) has worked here for several years. Mother was hired in November. They often work the same shift. Boss refuses to put them on separate shifts every time for unknown reasons.

Daughter talks to mother like shit. It's genuinely shocking. Daughter is patronising, rude, shouts at mother, nasty about her skills (still training), regularly says things like "Mum, you're an idiot." and other insults loud enough for everyone to hear. Absolutely horrible. Mother is very quiet and just accepts it. If she was talking to another member of staff like that it would be completely unacceptable. They are customer facing so everyone can hear daughter talking to mother like that.

Boss is refusing to deal with it - "that's just the relationship some mothers and daughters have" - direct quote. I say it's wrong and something needs to be said. They should be acting professionally and daughter should treat mother like any other colleague when they are on the clock together.

I am a manager but with boss (business owner) refusing to deal with it can I do anything?

It's seriously unpleasant listening to daughter for me so god knows how mother feels. When I work with them I spend the entire time cringing and making Shock faces.

OP posts:
flamedancer · 27/12/2021 01:32

You're also a manager you say? Surly she should be given a verbal warning. Just because it's her mum, she shouldn't get away with talking to her like that in their place of work. It's very unprofessional. If verbal warnings don't work... written usually does.
I hope her mum puts her in her place one day (at home obviously)

Limelon · 27/12/2021 01:40

Yes, I had an informal chat, said it wasn't acceptable. Daughter must have complained to boss about it because I was pulled aside and told "that's just how they are".

I'm working with them both tomorrow and not looking forward to it.

OP posts:
flamedancer · 27/12/2021 01:42

Good luck! She sounds like a nightmare 😆

EMotion · 27/12/2021 01:53

Hopefully a customer will put in a complaint. It is entirely unacceptable, so unprofessional and I feel sorry for the mother.

Hawkins001 · 27/12/2021 02:22

All the best op, and holy trinity

MadMadMadamMim · 27/12/2021 02:43

What did you say to the boss? I'd have told them My job is to manage the staff, and Daughter is out of line. Customers are picking up on this, it is affecting morale with the other staff and it is completely unacceptable. Why on earth would you think it's ok for anyone to behave like this?

I'd stand my ground and keep asking boss - No. Why is she allowed to behave like this at work, when other employees are not? Are we all allowed to tell mother she's stupid and useless? Are we allowed to tell daughter she's an utter bitch? Who is allowed to be unpleasant and abusive, and who's not? There appears to be different rules..

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