3 full days or shorter days!?

[88dlp88]

I haven't even had my second bubba yet (due any minute 🤣) and I'm already worried about returning to work.

As it stands, I would need to return 3 days a week - 2 days 8-6 and one day 8-5 so long days! Unsure as to whether to try and negotiate 4 slightly shorter days/1 long and 3 shorter or keep with 3 full days?

I will have a 3.5 year old and an 8 month old on my return and I'm freaking out as I was finding it tough before mat leave with a 2 year old. It's quite a stressful job and I was diagnosed with an autoimmune disease after my daughter which doesn't help with energy levels.

Any advice/previous experiences!?

What are your childcare arrangements? I used nursery and paid by the day (didn't make any difference whether it was a short or long day, the price was the same) so went for long days when they were both nursery age.

Once they're both at school I think short days work better as then you can do school pick ups.

How long is your commute?

I do four shorter days, so I can do school drop off/pick up, it also means we have time to play at the park etc after finishing school, we don’t have to rush if its a night he has dance or I have rugby.

Work did offer me three longer days this year and I did trial it as it would reduce our need for childcare next year to two days a week. I hated it, I wasn’t picking my son up until 6pm, we had zero quality time together on those days as by the time he was home it was cook, eat, story time and bed, and I was knackered.

4 shorter days. See if you can start a bit later and finish earlier so that you have a bit more time in the mornings and evenings. I achieve far less on my ‘full’ days off with 2 DC compared to what I did when I just had one (used to do lots of classes etc) so I’d prefer the extra time for morning and evening so it’s not quite such a rush!! Also would not recommend a half day if you are offered it… I hate my 12.30 finish as I never have enough time to get everything done at work, then straight into mum mode in the afternoon whilst thinking about all the loose ends I had to leave at work…

4 shorter days.

It really depends on the type of work, work flow, what you do in relation to others. Which one will make it more likely that the hours you're paid for are the hours you genuinely do? So many women end up doing a full time role in less time for less pay.

If you're supervising juniors for example, four short days will probably mean four full days of work because your juniors will be working after you have left and still producing work for you to check/need you to answer queries etc.

Does your work stop when you leave? (Eg staffing a check out?) or do you work until the work is done? (Eg Graphic design? Solicitor?)

How long does it take you to get dressed? Commute to work? How long does it take you to 'settle in' for the day?

Do you WFH?

Will someone else be hired / paid to work your 'off' hours? Or will the work that piles up at the end of your short days simply be waiting for you?

It's a really personal question and it depends on the type of childcare and the type of work.

Personally I found doing fewer longer days with a nanny a lot easier. No drop offs, a bit less housework (she does a few things while the children sleep) and she can stay late if I need her to. It's allowed me to focus on work when I'm at work, not leave mid afternoon while others still have their heads down and require my input. And my 'off' hours are (usually but not always) genuinely my off hours.

Quit?

As a pp said, it kind of depends on your job. Though if it's purely length of shifts, I prefer to work shorter days even though it means doing more of them.

I felt like I had days where I never really saw them and was rushing them in and out of the house too much. With short days we can keep to a pretty good routine and still have time for playing.

It does mean needing an extra days childcare though.

I'd do the 3 long days if I had an other half who was going to do all the stuff with the kids and sort dinner on those days. If it's 8-6 after having got kids up and to childcare followed by picking them up, getting home and then doing dinner and bedtimes that sounds knackering and I'd do 4 shorter days instead.

Thank you all for your replies! My childcare will be a mix of nursery & grandparents for my 3.5 Yr old and most likely grandparents/family for my 8 month old. My commute is about 15/20 mins so I have to drop off at 7.30 and then would pick up at 6.15ish on the 2 long days/5.15ish on the shorter day.
I teach at a private school so depending on the role I'm given - subjects/yr group I will need to do some work at home - normally a few hours at the weekend.
Quitting isn't really an option financially as I'd have to pay back nearly £2000 in additional mat pay leave and we need a substantial second income to live on but also so that when we remortgage we can borrow enough - my partner is a self employed builder who didn't have a great tax year last year so obviously impacts how much we can get. We currently live in a 2 bed house but ideally would like a 3 bed before youngest is 3.
It's just always such a difficult balance isn't it?! I definitely feel like I do more than a 3 day a week job with the long days and the bit I do from home. I would really love to go down to 2/2.5 days but not sure if a) work would let me b) we would get enough on mortgage when we want to move. I think we could probably cope financially if I did 2.5 days but 2 might be a bit of a struggle!!