Unappreciated at work

[Allaboutyou222]

I don’t know here to turn. I used to love my job but it’s turned into a nightmare. I’m a teacher in a FE college. We’re a large team. There’s a group of work who seem to be ‘golden girls’. They get all the best roles in the department. They get a bit of power then become bossy micromanagers.

I’ve worked there 6 years. I don’t think my manager rates me. I’m passed over for promotion and they never fully say why. Not ready or not my skill set etc.

It’s a toxic place. There’s a lot of performative behaviour and cliques, the senior staff have exclusive nights out and don’t invite me and a couple of others.

I could plod on but the promotion of people over me is disempowering and I don’t like being micromanaged by people who are less experienced than me. I do a good job but I don’t get praise. Only criticism. To be fair there’s 4 middle aged women like me and we’re all given dull roles and so largely ignored.

My manager is part of this toxic culture do us no help. As is the department head. I just feel that they think I’m useless and don’t like me.

I’m on leave now but stressed about what to do, I can’t afford to leave and similar jobs are hard to come by, I’m fed up of being pushed around. I want to stand up to them, to ask where my positive feedback is, to ask for better roles. I feel I’m being walked over.

Any ideas how I can start standing up for myself?

No idea on advice but you're not alone. I'm trying to leave my workplace now because of it. There's no point in raising my issues with management as they've heard the same things from me for 7 years but have no intention of shifting the work culture. It's a shame. I love my job but the crushing lack of opportunity or acknowledgement isn't worth it.

Do you do things like pdpr in your workplace? That might be a useful way of bringing up your achievements, goals and concerns. In my workplace we can escalate things mentioned in our pdpr to higher levels of management/ HR etc if they're not acted upon.

Thanks for replying. Crushing lack of acknowledgment…sums it up.

PDRs tend to be cursory. All about dept objectives and KPIs. It sounds pathetic but I just want someone to say ‘well done’ now and again!

After Xmas I may ask for a meeting with my manager. She’s a bit useless tbh and I don’t think she rates me. However I refuse to be pushed around. Going to ask about opportunities for next year and raise the lack of positive feedback. I honestly can’t remember getting any. I recently had good feedback from a student and sent it to my manager. She didn’t even reply to my e mail.

"My manager is part of the toxic culture and so is the dept head"

I left a job in June after seven years with a similar problem. When you have the managers that are the problem, and in my company it was three all at different levels inc a director you're doomed

The only option is to put up with it or leave. You aren't a clique member and never will be, therefore you will be overlooked

The managers won't move on anytime soon because they've got cushy well paying jobs and the only way the culture will improve is if they go, which they won't

Job hunting in the new year would be my advice. I'm in a new job now and I'm trying slowly but surely to forget that I ever worked at my previous company. It was a toxic, depressing cancerous workplace and I feel sorry for the good ppl that remain but continue to be treated unfairly

I've just handed in my notice this week for this very reason. I've worked so hard all year, was promised promotion that never happened, picked up the fallout from incompetent colleagues mistakes, was fundamental in meeting outcomes which meant our contract got extended for another 3 years thus saving everyone's jobs. Yet in the past couple of weeks I have been spoken to like shit by my boss, been told that next year we will all be on a new system of micromanaged performance targets and been left all of the week running up to Christmas more or less on my own to do the work of three people. When team supervisor tried to pile more work on me fifteen minutes before finish time on Xmas eve I snapped and asked said something I will probably regret but I don't care as notice has already gone in and in a couple of weeks I will be free from this toxic place for good. I don't have a job to go to nor do I care. Also middle aged. Middle aged, menopausal and angry.

I just left FE due to the clicks and lack of acknowledgment.
The constantly increasing workload and never ending piss taking.
It won't get better.

Not a lot you can do, other than look for a role elsewhere.

Thanks for replies. You’re right. Nothing will change. I am looking for a new job. This makes me sad as I used to love this one.

Thank you! I am looking for something else.

Leave 100% - once it becomes toxic there’s no point staying

So sad to say I agree.
Overlooked for promotion myself and sometimes ignored.yrs went by and I felt despondent with no way of proving myself anymore.
Due to extreme circumstances I had to massively step up and got praised all round.
It won't be long before my input is minimised and I'm micromanage again.
The only way to improve things is to leave.
Menopausal here too and no absences to add fuel to the fire few.