Going back to work - worried about what will happen if DD gets sick

[jasperc163]

DD is 2 and I want to go back to work part-time. This would mean something like 3 full days where she would be at nursery 7.30-6.30.

What is worrying me is that i expect she will get the inevitable run of bugs in the first few months that she goes (she went to a nursery for a term aged 1 and was off sick with things she caught there for half of the time! I wasnt working then so it didnt matter so much). She currently goes to a childminder a few hours a week but there is no further space available.

So my question is - what do you mothers do who dont have OH's with flexible jobs or a backup system like parents nearby? I am concerned that if i start a new job (which would possibly by a temporary contract anyway)and call in saying i cant come in within the first few weeks i am going to get told not to bother coming back!

thanks
alice

Hey it's tough, I have a childminder in back-up for emergencies, it's the getting better but not quite up for nursery days that are hard. I spread days now Mon Wed Fri so they're are never two days on the trot. My dd was critically ill this yr and I took 4 months off in the end. My employer is extremely supportive though. Other times have worked from home and taken conf calls from the outside loo .. dp does days when he can too - start making friends with retired people, join your local church

find out about nanny agencies for odd days if you can afford it too, they can do cover or find out about a local nanny or childminder who's flexible.

happens to the best of us!

I have had to take quite a bit of time off with a sick DS - i always tell my boss at the earliest opportunity and then make the hours up

at 2 she may be more robust?

think rebelmum has raised a good point re the emergency childminder

there might be a childminder close to your work, so you can pick them up sooner.

there might be a childminder close to your work, so you can pick them up sooner.

You need a support network or a very flexible employer. You also need to be very selective about the severity of DD's illnesses - only the most extreme will warrant time off.

yeah that's why a childminder on standby is really important if you don't have a support network like me. Be really really nice to your employer and volunteer for extra stuff when you can to offset any time off, try and make time up.

Alice - i am live considerable distance from family and OH works away from home a lot. so yes understand your predicament and queries. Similar situation too but i work FT

my tip is absolute transparencey and honesty with your employer. mine know my situation, and if need be i will have to respond to wee one being ill. they understand i dont abuse goodwill, so in reality this need has only arose a few times.

to be positive, you are a valued employee most employers are reasoanable. so dont go anticipating difficulties

thanks everyone. Part of the problem i think is that i would be going into a new job and more than likely a shortish term contract as this is generally the only way to get part time work in my field. So i can't rely on any existing goodwill or relationship. Also prob have to work an hour/hour and a half away from home.

Most childminders i have come across a) cant be that flexible if you arent normally using them b) dont want the child if it is ill enough to be sent home from nursery anyway?

appreciate the commments - i know it is a bit of a conundrum!

It does well to be prepared and have a back-up plan, being the only one who can attend a meeting, a tight deadline to meet and your employer depending on you is usually when they fall ill...

Always have a central repository so colleagues can pick up work for you, be very nice to colleagues, stock up on echinacea and batten down the hatches - may the force be with you !

yes illnesses do occur at worst times workload wise (hey when is there a good time). i have no back up plan or CM - it is just me.such a plan is genuineley not practicable

but i have less sick time off than collegues without kids dont do "sickies" or hangovers etc. as i genuinely dont abuse goodwill

..or because you are lucky that your child hasn't been that ill .. my dd was critically ill and didn't recover quickly, they are all quite different.

oops I misread your mail, it's true I haven't had a single sick day this yr!

..well you dont actually know the amount of sick days i have had to take for wee one

X posts rebelmumi understand now.

X posts rebelmumi understand now.

oh!two posts i doubly understand

I have Ibeen back at work for a year, and luckily my children have all been ill on my days off so far. I have had to take 2 days this week with dd3 and it is the first time for a year. I feel really guilty for letting my work down, but no choice as dh couldn't take the time off and I have no other help either. I have been able to do some work from home which has helped.

'You also need to be very selective about the severity of DD's illnesses - only the most extreme will warrant time off. '

if only! our nursery calls as soon as they have been sick. conjunctiviti is currently doing the rounds and no way will they letthem in with that

I was thinking about sniffles. 'Bathroom emergencies', as they were termed in our US school district are different matters.

Would you say that starting DD back at nursery in winter will make things worse as far as sickness is concerned. Would i be better to try and hang on til spring (though need the money!) or wont it make much difference?

I think she's as likely to get bugs in the winter as the summer tbh.

And you're right about childminders - sometimes they can't take children who are sick.

Do you know anyone who has an au pair or nanny who could be on standby? Or another parent?

i don't understand how a CM can be on standby, for short notice call, no warning, ready to accept a child.

I am in a similar situation - no close family and DH works away a lot - but, like others, I rely on goodwill from my employer - but I have been here for a few years and have 'earned' the right for flexibility.

AMerryScot - I appreciate what you are saying about only doing it for the severe illnesses but nurseries have policies about children/illness - for example, DS's nursery have a policy that if a child has 2 'loose' poos (i.e. diaorrhea) in a day, they are sent home and cannot go back for 2 days - this has happened to my DS who, I think was teething at the time, so had a bit of diaorrhea and I ended up sitting at home with him for 2 days even though he was perfectly well! So, sometimes it is imposed on parents, even if your children are actually well enough to go.

I'd say:

• the first awful winter may have helped to reduce the amount of illness this time round
• check your legal entitlement re being on contract; you may still be entitled to unpaid time off to look after her, as in permanent employment. I'm not saying this solves the problem, as it clearly doesn't - the work still has to get done etc - but, worst case scenario, if things get really bad with your employer and you have to end up in some sort of legally advised process, you want to make sure what your entitlements are. Join a union if you can.
• consider looking out for, and doing favours for, retired people in your street/locally. Maybe join a church or other place of worship? It sounds brutally self-interested, but in fact that's what community is all about. If you can 'adopt' a granny or grandpa locally, and feel happy about them, you may be able to develop your own backup network. Just a thought.