Feedback from my review to improve communication, not sure how

[throwawayaccountwork]

I had an end of year review at work (I'm fairly new, only been there 3 months) and as part of it we receive feedback from colleagues for things that went well and things we could improve on.

For mine, the improvements were all quite similar and that is to increase my communication with the team. It was also flagged in my earlier probation review meeting and my manager has said he has definitely seen me take on that feedback and he has seen an increase in my communication, so I was kind of upset to see it flagged again as something to improve as I thought I had already been quite good at communicating.

For context, it's an office job where I work in a team made up of people who have a specific skill who do the tasks (me and 2 other colleagues) and people who work on the accounts and project management side. The project managers will give me a task or a set of tasks and I will then do them, usually working with my other colleagues as we all review each other's work.

Tasks are given either during morning meetings which are then emailed out as a list of tasks for that particular day, or they are small ad hoc requests sent via Teams.

For the daily list of tasks, in the meeting I will say things like 'yes I can do that today' or 'yes I can do that today, but I have X project to do first which needs to be finished by Y time' or 'I've also got X, Y and Z to do, which should I prioritise?' (I do prioritise tasks myself, but sometimes priorities change and the accounts team are best placed to tell me what to prioritise) and then I will go and do the tasks and then once I am finished I will email it to the relevant colleague, CCing the whole team to let them know it's finished and often quickly message in our team's group chat to let them know too.

For the ad hoc requests, I also reply saying something like 'Yes I'll start on that now' or 'I'm just finishing Y and then can make a start' or if I'm really busy I'll write out what I have to do and ask which they'd like me to prioritise. I'll often write things like "just emailed across project X, I'll start on project Y now". I also work in two teams so sometimes I will say something like 'tomorrow is looking very busy for work for Team X'.

Like I said, I've only been there for 3 months and this is also my first job in this field. I follow the lead on what my colleagues do and say and I match the frequency of their messages/updates to the team. In fact, I would say I now message a lot more frequently than some of my other colleagues (who are also fairly new). The tasks I do are quite time-intensive and can take several hours where I need to concentrate, but I'm wondering if posting something like 'just to update, I'm still working on X and hope to be finished in 2 hours' would help? I've never seen a colleague do this though.

Please can you help advise me? I have spoken to my manager about it and he advised directly asking my colleagues what they actually want from me in terms of communication, but I want to let the dust settle after the annual reviews before asking first in case it comes across as me disagreeing with them/being argumentative.

Another thing is we have group chats where we post about work, one of my feedback was to post things in the group chats rather than in individual 1:1 chats.

However, the only time I post things in the 1:1 chats is if it's replying to someone who has sent me a private message.

For example, I have a colleague who sent me a private message asking me to do something, so I did it and wrote in the private message it was done, and then they said to me (nicely) can I stop writing things like this in a private chat and post it in the group chat. It's happened a few times.

Seems like the work culture is quite pedantic if they want you to put things in a group chat and they don't seem consistent.

Maybe suggest a googlesheet that you can tick off each task, put comments?

I have spoken to my manager about it and he advised directly asking my colleagues what they actually want from me in terms of communication, but I want to let the dust settle after the annual reviews before asking first in case it comes across as me disagreeing with them/being argumentative.

Why do you think there is even dust to settle? Did you get upset or angry at the feedback? Why would they think you're disagreeing or being argumentative? Is that the feedback you've been given? I wouldn't wait. Contact the people directly who gave the feedback and ask if you can have a virtual coffee with them to discuss how you can change things / do more to meet their needs. Put a positive spin on it, show you're being proactive and use this as a relationship building exercise. Ask them what they want and how you can do things differently. Be collaborative. (Don't argue with them).

You sound very transactional to me. Is that part of the problem? Or is it just lack of experience you think?

@HundredMilesAnHour

I have spoken to my manager about it and he advised directly asking my colleagues what they actually want from me in terms of communication, but I want to let the dust settle after the annual reviews before asking first in case it comes across as me disagreeing with them/being argumentative.

Why do you think there is even dust to settle? Did you get upset or angry at the feedback? Why would they think you're disagreeing or being argumentative? Is that the feedback you've been given? I wouldn't wait. Contact the people directly who gave the feedback and ask if you can have a virtual coffee with them to discuss how you can change things / do more to meet their needs. Put a positive spin on it, show you're being proactive and use this as a relationship building exercise. Ask them what they want and how you can do things differently. Be collaborative. (Don't argue with them).

You sound very transactional to me. Is that part of the problem? Or is it just lack of experience you think?

Not upset or angry, my colleagues are on holiday until the new year now anyway so I will ask in January. I'm not an argumentative person at all, I just I was just conscious that I didn't want to message them asking for clarification and for it to come across that I was being defensive.

Can you please elaborate on what you mean by me sounding transactional?

This is my first job in this field and very, very different to previous jobs so I worry that there are lots of subtle office culture things I might be missing.

@Danikm151

Seems like the work culture is quite pedantic if they want you to put things in a group chat and they don't seem consistent.

Maybe suggest a googlesheet that you can tick off each task, put comments?

It's really difficult because I find the mixed signals hard to read. If you are telling me to put things in a group chat, why are you also messaging me privately? I think I'll have to start saying "I'll post my answer in the group chat too" to cover myself?

We do also have a spreadsheet, and I tick off my tasks regularly but no one else ticks off their steps.

re the private v group.
I wonder whether the private message is to give a gentle 'behind the scenes' nudge/reminder on something they maybe feel should have already been done, whereas the statement of it being done needs to be told to everyone?

Communication can also be about the wording/tone as well as the information or frequency. So another possibility is you are too direct, or not 'cheerful' enough.
e.g.
Hi, Just to let you all know the calendar for next month has been updated. Throw.
versus
Jan 22 Calendar update done.

Also be aware that since you're new, you won't have built a reputation yet. So your colleagues will be trusted to do things because they have a track record of doing them. You've only been there 3 months, it will take time for people to build confidence in you that you do them correctly and on time. It's not personal. People will be depending on you. It will come with time.

It might help you to also think of it from the account / project manager's perspective. I'm a programme/project manager who's client facing and every time I have a new client, I go through having to prove myself all over again. Some clients can be really picky / rude / annoying until they you've proved yourself and they're happy. My last client was an absolute nightmare. After being a total pain for 3 months, he suddenly decided that he was happy with me (he even told my boss I was "brilliant") and my life got a lot easier. But in order to get there (and stay there), I was dependent on other people doing their work on time and to the high standard required and I didn't know any of these people. So I was all over them. Until I learnt who I could trust to deliver and who I had to keep an eye on.

It sounds like all your communication is about what you have started/finished. I’m doing x task, then ill do y task. Do you not need to update your team on how the tasks went or what your conclusions are or is it literally just a case of, once you’ve completed the task it’s done and dusted?

I have a colleague who communicates in a similar way and she comes across as not wanting to do “additional” work. She is effectively an admin support for our team so we are meant to be able to ask her to do various tasks for us but it feels like she is always coming back saying “well I’m very busy with x. Y z and so I probably won’t have time to do this”. If she were updating me every time she finished a small task I would take this as being a bit passive aggressive and almost trying to prove that she’s very busy.

There is no one ever who would answer a 1 to 1 message in a group message surely!
You need clarity on that for sure.

@TeenMinusTests

re the private v group. I wonder whether the private message is to give a gentle 'behind the scenes' nudge/reminder on something they maybe feel should have already been done, whereas the statement of it being done needs to be told to everyone?

Communication can also be about the wording/tone as well as the information or frequency. So another possibility is you are too direct, or not 'cheerful' enough.
e.g.
Hi, Just to let you all know the calendar for next month has been updated. Throw.
versus
Jan 22 Calendar update done.

Hmm that's a good point about it being a gentle nudge, I didn't think about that before. It happened yesterday and it was something I was finding difficult so had taken a little longer, but they sent that private 'nudge' just as I was emailing it over anyway.

I've not been told that I'm too slow and my feedback was positive that I'm meeting deadlines and working to a good standard, but I am conscious that, being fairly new, things will take me longer than they would a more experienced colleague.

I definitely use a good tone in the messages, our chats are very casual and laid back so my messages are friendly

@HundredMilesAnHour

Also be aware that since you're new, you won't have built a reputation yet. So your colleagues will be trusted to do things because they have a track record of doing them. You've only been there 3 months, it will take time for people to build confidence in you that you do them correctly and on time. It's not personal. People will be depending on you. It will come with time.

It might help you to also think of it from the account / project manager's perspective. I'm a programme/project manager who's client facing and every time I have a new client, I go through having to prove myself all over again. Some clients can be really picky / rude / annoying until they you've proved yourself and they're happy. My last client was an absolute nightmare. After being a total pain for 3 months, he suddenly decided that he was happy with me (he even told my boss I was "brilliant") and my life got a lot easier. But in order to get there (and stay there), I was dependent on other people doing their work on time and to the high standard required and I didn't know any of these people. So I was all over them. Until I learnt who I could trust to deliver and who I had to keep an eye on.

This is a good point! Thank you

I've had really positive feedback from colleagues so I guess I feel like I am beginning to earn their trust but I guess when there are people depending on me they probably do feel anxious to check in on me more often

There are other new colleagues who are a lot quieter than I am and give a lot less updates, but then maybe they also get the same feedback in their reviews too

@Newnews

It sounds like all your communication is about what you have started/finished. I’m doing x task, then ill do y task. Do you not need to update your team on how the tasks went or what your conclusions are or is it literally just a case of, once you’ve completed the task it’s done and dusted?

I have a colleague who communicates in a similar way and she comes across as not wanting to do “additional” work. She is effectively an admin support for our team so we are meant to be able to ask her to do various tasks for us but it feels like she is always coming back saying “well I’m very busy with x. Y z and so I probably won’t have time to do this”. If she were updating me every time she finished a small task I would take this as being a bit passive aggressive and almost trying to prove that she’s very busy.

Day to day, the tasks are just small steps of the bigger project so it's like I'll work on something and then it gets sent to a colleague to look at and then either back to me or to the clients. It's lots of little steps. Sometimes I will add a comment such as to give context to a client's comment of if I found a particular aspect difficult or if I had a question, but it's very much a constant back and fourth

I definitely relate to feeling passive aggressive with constantly communicating every little thing I've done, especially when it's lots of little tasks so it feels like I'm frequently pinging a message in the group chat to say I've finished with something. However, I'm not work shy and often take on extra work and stay late to finish it

For example, I have a colleague who sent me a private message asking me to do something, so I did it and wrote in the private message it was done, and then they said to me (nicely) can I stop writing things like this in a private chat and post it in the group chat. It's happened a few times.

That's a bit odd. If someone asks me something on private chat I would respond there. If they asked in the group chat, I'd respond there and I would have thought that's what most people would do.

I suppose I sometimes ping colleagues individually to ask them to look at a particular problem ticket, but I wouldn't expect them to respond more than, "OK," or, "P was already dealing with this," and then updates to be in the ticket itself. So I suppose some of it depends on how you normally work together.

But if people start replying to private chats in group chats, I might have to book a season ticket with HR.

Sounds like you're communicating fine to me. I'm autistic, however. What I have learned to do is to just pop in a "hi xxx, hope your day is going well, just to let you know that I've completed xxx and I'm cracking on with yyyy. Give me a shout if you need anything" sort of thing. It makes it friendlier and less transactional.

@Newnews

It sounds like all your communication is about what you have started/finished. I’m doing x task, then ill do y task. Do you not need to update your team on how the tasks went or what your conclusions are or is it literally just a case of, once you’ve completed the task it’s done and dusted?

I have a colleague who communicates in a similar way and she comes across as not wanting to do “additional” work. She is effectively an admin support for our team so we are meant to be able to ask her to do various tasks for us but it feels like she is always coming back saying “well I’m very busy with x. Y z and so I probably won’t have time to do this”. If she were updating me every time she finished a small task I would take this as being a bit passive aggressive and almost trying to prove that she’s very busy.

Most of the admin people I know are buckling under the strain of looking after massive teams so it's highly likely that she doesn't have a lot of time to add extra value. Everyone assumes that admin is easy and each task takes five minutes but being pulled in multiple directions at once is hard. Telling people that you have to do X, Y, Z first is the standard advice if you have a high workload that is reactive.

Op, are you some sort of admin support?

I would ask for clarity around the communication issue. What exactly is it that you need to work on? Maybe he just wants you to be a bit more chatty in the office. What you are describing all sounds a bit robotic.

@flowersforbrains the person I’m talking about only supports our team, which I lead, so I’m aware of everything she’s been asked to do. I’ve checked repeatedly with her line manager and am told she has capacity to support all the activities that we have asked for support with. What I mean is that because we are the ones adding tasks to her list, it comes across as her being asked to do additional or extra tasks each time we add another one, but in reality it’s not - it’s just a rolling cycle of her having tasks added and crossed off as she finishes them. If we never added anything new she would quickly run out of things to do (she doesn’t have many ongoing tasks that recur) yet every time I add a new task I’m always made to feel like I’m asking something extra or additional of her. But that’s just the nature of her role. Sorry I don’t know if I explained that very well.

I feel I should add that she’s very lovely and I’m constantly worried that she is overworked, but I’m assured that she’s not (and she doesn’t say she is) I think she just has a communication style similar to OP. When I ask her to do tasks I think she assumes I expect them done immediately which I don’t at all - and I often say that explicitly - hence why she then tells me about all the other things she’s doing and when she’s starting/finishing them.

Ask your colleagues for examples. It's the only way you'll find out.

@Newnews Have you or her line manager ever done that type of job yourself? Most admin and PAs have bosses who have never done the job. There is generally a grey area around that role where they are expected to absorb more and more work.

If it's reactive in that you can't see the bigger picture and it's just a constant flow of tasks that can actually be pretty stressful. Employees who do this type of role have a poor locus of control. These types of jobs are often more stressful than senior jobs for that reason.

I'm not saying this is the case with your admin but having been a PA (and having lots of friends who do the job) the job can be hideous if you are working for a team and working reactively.

@flowersforbrains I haven’t done that role but her line manager did for a number of years. I understand it is probably quite frustrating not having that much control over what you are asked to do. But at the same time, that is just the nature of the job, and why we need someone in that role.

@Newnews Yes, it is the nature of the job. It's also quite common for team members to not manage their own time particularly well and spring time critical tasks on you last minute when you're already up to your eyeballs. I used to have to minute an important all day meeting and I regularly used to have one director turn up ten minutes before without any paperwork despite having a PA. He would ask me to print a big pile of papers and, due to the nature of what was being discussed, this wasn't something that anyone could do. This happened repeatedly despite me telling him and his PA to sort their shit out.

One of my bosses nearly had a meltdown because the admin was off in another office when they had a big presentation. He was the only person who had access to the photocopier and consequently was trying to sort his own presentation while simultaneously being interrupted and running backwards and forwards to the photocopier. He said he almost shouted at someone at one point then realised what it must be like to do my job. Oh, how I laughed........

..........and that is probably why you're admin tells you where your work is in the context of what else she has on.

@flowersforbrains I never ever spring last minute tasks on her, ever, because I know how annoying that is. I find it tends to be men who do that, on the whole…

@Newnews Yes, it is generally men! The upside of that is that if you tell them off they've normally forgotten about it by the time they've walked to the other side of the office. Women on the other hand.....

It's not admin work. I don't want to go into too many specifics but it is a skill (e.g. graph design), and then the accounts/project managers oversee the deadlines, timelines, team workloads, etc.

Originally when given a task I would reply saying 'yeah sure, I'll work on that today', but then when I got feedback to increase my communication I started saying things like 'yeah I can do that today. I have X project to finish this morning first, but I can get started on that this afternoon'

My messages are always friendly with lots of greetings, smiley faces, etc. I'm just simplifying them on here