Hi guys,
I started a new job mid pandemic and loved it. We started going into the office a couple of months back which coincided with a personally difficult time in my life. Without being outing, the role can be high pressure and is corporate so there is obviously a need to look, act and be a certain way. I felt this was easier in the comfort of home and have struggled with basic things since being freed from the pandemic (having flattering work clothes that I like, feeling calm and in a good headspace for the working day, bantering with colleagues). I’m a little embarrassed to write it like this as they really are basic things but have found the stress of it, along with the reinforced stress of wondering what colleagues are thinking of me / do I seem weird, quite debilitating.
The long and short of it is that i don’t feel like I have presented myself to my best ability since being there in person. I am a gregarious person but have muted myself in interactions, not wanting to draw attention to myself, feel like sometimes my outfits are unflattering and boring... Just feel like I have let myself down.
I am wondering if anyone has any similar experiences or can relate, and if there is a way of resetting the tone from here on? I think the Xmas break will be a good decompressing period and I want to put my best foot forward again in the new year.
I have been happy with feedback given and happy with the role but think something may be up as my boss gently mentioned that they knew the role was stressful and if there was ever anything I needed to raise, to let them know. Obviously my mind went to how ive been presenting myself / coming across which reinforced how I’ve been feeling.
Sorry for the ramble! Keen to hear thoughts on whether I can reset the tone from here and strategies for doing so? A few interactions I’ve had with a colleague who can be quite blunt (will dismiss things as bullshit or bollocks) have caused emotional reactions which I’m embarrassed about but have glossed over and laughed off (I haven’t actually cried but just for example voice cracked on the phone and then took a moment to gather myself) and I feel like that’s then built a picture in peoples minds of my coping mechanisms or lack thereof!