Dreading starting new job

[Gotalota]

Ive been a sahm for 5 years, DH works full time so I've looked after the kids and done an ou degree. Now youngest is in school I applied for an office job and got it, but I've since found out that 1 person walked out, another is working their notice period and a few more are also wanting to leave.

Apparently they receive a lot of abuse from service users unable to make appointments, and who aren't happy with new ways of working since the pandemic.

I'm really dreading my first day. My IBS has flared up and I'm now back on medication. I have high functioning autism and the stress of the unknown is really getting to me as I can't plan what will happen. I cope ok day to day but this is something I can't plan for. I am ok mixing with people but I hate it but I've learnt how to do it as it doesn't come naturally to me. I just feel like I've made a huge mistake. I'm starting to feel really ill with my stomach and overwhelming anxiety.

I don't feel like I can back out, I've sent off my references and they have applied for my DBS. I need to be able to work because I need some money for me, rather than having to ask DH if I can have something and it's not fair if he is the only one working but this stress is horrible. I know it's normal to feel stressed about starting a new job but my body is like no, you're going to suffer stomach pain, sickness and headaches.

Hi

It's pretty normal to feel anxious before you start a new job. I recently changed jobs and felt really anxious about my new job and questioned myself a lot on whether or not I had made the right choice.

As you are currently at home anyway and you haven't left another job, the least you can do is try the new role out. The worst that will happen is that you won't like it and leave.

Don't back out of it even before trying it. If you do that you will never get anywhere in life. Go in with an open heart and mind and if you dont like it it's not the end of the world, just learn from it and move on.

Good luck.

Thanks

It's true. I can try it out and leave if it's as bad as I'm expecting it to be. It's an hour travel there and back which is also making me quite nervous as that's putting extra hours on my day getting back for the kids. I also work every Saturday, but I felt like a burden not earning any money so it was. Like there's a job take it and now it's sinking in that I have to go there and the working environment doesn't seem very pleasant with everyone whose quit recently.

I'm with Asvan on this one. Go in with a smile and an open mind and remember that you're not automatically obliged to stay there if you don't like it. Pretend in your mind that you're only going to be there 2 weeks if it means you will feel a little more relaxed. Hopefully, once you get past the first bumpy weeks you'll end up loving it.

Let us all know how you get in OP. I've just had a night of zero sleep because of my eternal work anxiety so I feel your pain on this. Xxx

You actually can back out. It's not unheard of for people to just not turn up, or to do one day and never come back. If you do go in, it's because you are showing commitment, not because you are obliged to.

Could you talk to them about your needs round your IBS before you start, so you don't have to do it awkwardly on your first day? It is nerves and it's something you'll have to get through wherever you start. It should settle down, and yes you can always leave.

Maybe arrange to start on a Thursday or Friday, so you have a break early on.

I started a new job a couple of weeks ago. I had been in my last job over 30 years so I was so anxious starting almost to the point where I felt I couldn’t go. However I just thought to myself I will give it a try and if I don’t like it I don’t have to stay there. I dont have any loyalty to them. Fortunately I do like it and it’s going well and I’m sure the same will happen to you. Just think i’ll give it a go - after all what’s the worst that can happen? Good luck!

oh @Lozzerbmc, that's interesting because i've been at the same company for 11.5 years now and I really am freaking out about every getting other work and how I will cope. I feel I've become a bit institutionalized. How did you cope? Did people judge you negatively because of this at all?