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Original poster

Comments at work are they appropriate?

31 replies

Gomoza2018 · 26/11/2021 20:50

I’ve just finished training and one of the trainers told me I’ve just passed but I need to keep practising which I accepted because it was constructive criticism. However immediately after this they then asked me if I’ve got a medical condition that they should know about that is impacting on my learning. I said I didn’t want to discuss this as it’s my personal health information which I’ve already handled with Occy health. I don’t have a medical condition that impacts on learning so I felt a bit upset by this question especially since I’ve just started and still have quite a bit of training ahead! My question is what is their questions implying and is it even legal for them to ask me about medical conditions? Am I just being hormonal and sensitive or was this question totally inappropriate? Please help! My mind is in overdrive, feeling so useless right now - I feel like quitting the job altogether! Thanks.

OP posts:
LIZS · 26/11/2021 20:53

I think they were just looking for any ways to support and strategies to help your learning. If you do have a particular issue it may be worth confiding in them, but it is your choice.

devildeepbluesea · 26/11/2021 20:55

They're asking if you have a disability and want to try to support you if you do. It's nothing to worry about.

Original poster
Gomoza2018 · 26/11/2021 21:07

That’s the thing I don’t have an issue. It’s a completely new field for me so it’s just taking me a bit of time to grasp some of the new terminology and material. If someone didn’t learn something well the first time is it fair to immediately assume they have a disability? 💁

OP posts:
LIZS · 26/11/2021 21:12

But you mentioned OH yourself Confused

FelicityBeedle · 26/11/2021 21:15

It’s good practice for that to be a standard question, doesn’t mean they’re assuming you have a learning difficult which seems to be what you’re implying? Even if you do, you don’t need to disclose it if you don’t wish to

Missmissmiiiiiiiiisss · 26/11/2021 21:53

There were just checking in case you needed a ‘reasonable adjustment’ that might help you as you learn. I think you overreacted.

Original poster
Gomoza2018 · 26/11/2021 22:51

Yes, because it’s their job to ask me such questions and make any necessary reasonable adjustment - not the trainer. 💁

OP posts:
Original poster
Gomoza2018 · 26/11/2021 23:01

Thanks for all the comments 👍🏼

OP posts:
bluetowers · 26/11/2021 23:06

But training providers want to help ensure you learn effectively.

bluetowers · 26/11/2021 23:09

I coach kids and it's really frustrating when a child clearly has a learning need or 'hidden' disability such as ADD and parents pretend they don't have any issues. We can't teach them effectively if we don't know what help they need.

SeasonFinale · 26/11/2021 23:11

I think it is a question they would ask of anyone if they are training them so they can adjust the training to suit those with a SpLD. I think if there is some other issue you are dealing with OH about that has made you hypersensitive to the question which wouldnjust be standard for any trainer to ask

Dontfuckingsaycheese · 26/11/2021 23:15

Imagine your child is at school and they’re struggling. An experienced teacher has noticed them struggling, has taught many children and knows a thing or two. They think support might be appropriate so they flag it up with the parent so the parent can consider this. Why would you not want this for yourself??

burnoutbabe · 26/11/2021 23:15

Yes maybe standard to ask before training.

But not after having done it, as then it sounds like they think there is an issue and had noticed it during training.

Original poster
Gomoza2018 · 26/11/2021 23:16

The feedback is truly making re-think my previous perception. I guess that’s the beauty of asking neutral people for their valued input - thank you x

OP posts:
CookieMumsters · 26/11/2021 23:27

I'm a trainer, with one course in particular there is a section in it, maybe 5% of the course which makes it VERY apparent if someone is dyslexic. I always ask before the course, but sometimes people don't admit it. If they struggle, I ask again, 99 times out of 100 they then tell me there is something.

CheeseMmmm · 26/11/2021 23:45

I think really harsh to OP.

If the question was phrased like that. And asked at the END of the course.

Firstly if they were interested in anything that might need to do or provide to optimise training for those attending.

Then obviously you ask at the START! So they can act on it.

Usually with training at least what I've had and going back a fair while. It's standard to send a quick form to fill in.

Stuff like
What hope to get out of training
Have you done the things before and to what level
Anything specific you want to understand/ learn
Dietary requirements
Etc

And of course.
Is there anything we should know so that we can do whatever to accommodate for you.
Maybe some specific things eg use a wheelchair. (Shit wording but you get the drift!).

Always ask anything else. This would be where you say impaired hearing/ vision better at front. Etc.

(I have something for that bit so read through loads!)

Asking if directly at the end is nonsensical. Totally nonsensical.

You just passed. Have you got a medical condition impacting on learning?
Well whether you have or haven't. Hearing that of course will not land well at all.
Whether the person does or doesn't, if they haven't disclosed then they either don't have anything or don't want to disclose. It's clear it's just not the thing to ask.

It's shit OP. Pointless to ask at end. Is main issue.

Implying they noticed something about you that made them think hmm maybe medical condition. And surely person will leave wondering what made them ask. Is it obvious? Is it something I'm doing? Etc.
That's NOT the way to send a trainee off!

OP I would be taken aback confused and poss dwell on whatever it was that made them say that.

CheeseMmmm · 26/11/2021 23:56

@bluetowers

I coach kids and it's really frustrating when a child clearly has a learning need or 'hidden' disability such as ADD and parents pretend they don't have any issues. We can't teach them effectively if we don't know what help they need.
The parents might not know.

I have read on here v difficult to get seen /diagnosed for those things.

You make a diagnosis and that means parents are lying to you?

I'm sure it happens in real world all the time, I'm surprised to see posted so openly!

Unless you have a specialist job but then you'd surely have access to that info... I assume anyway.

And for work training. Your post indicates that you feel strongly that anyone going to training should disclose anything that may be relevant.

That's not good at all.
At work many hide things because fear of what might mean.
Or they are very personal. Embarrassing.
Etc.

Things that people may not disclose-
Peri-menopause
Issues with bladder
Concentration not at best due to things at home
The underlying reason for requesting a certain accomodation. (I say if tall building need fireman lift if evacuation. I don't tell them WHY. they never ask. Obviously).
Loads of things.

I don't know if your post was meant to cause reaction or not!

Original poster
Gomoza2018 · 27/11/2021 00:10

Thanks so much for your contribution. I felt really bad especially when I factored in the way the question was asked, tone of voice, speech, body language and as you say the timing - slipping it in at the end after being told I had passed. I thought it was inappropriate to be judged incorrectly too by someone who barely knows me but has formed a strong opinion about me & my capabilities in such a short space of time. I was put in a box & stereotyped by someone who isn’t even qualified to diagnose me… even if I did have a medical condition surely it’s an individual choice whether I share this or not. Training is supposed to be a safe environment for us to learn and getting things wrong sometimes is part of the process. If we knew it all we wouldn’t need to do any training in the first place and we wouldn’t need trainers either. 👍🏼

OP posts:
CheeseMmmm · 27/11/2021 00:38

Was it internal trainer or external?
Big medium small company?
How many on the course?

There are some things you can do obv.

Comment about not going to work, is it someone you actually work with, or will see around a lot?

LIZS · 27/11/2021 09:25

No it is not for OH to pass on information unless you request and agree to it. A good trainer wants their students to get maximum benefit from a course, and would prefer to know if there are barriers to overcome or adjustments made. Is there any feedback questionnaire? Was it a course which can be followed on or become accredited, in which case you may choose to consider flagging any issues next time, if appropriate.

TractorAndHeadphones · 27/11/2021 09:30

OP the trainers have no incentive to use anything against you. This is simply something they have noticed and they’re asking to eee if adjustments can be made especially as you’re just at the start

bluetowers · 27/11/2021 09:47

@CheeseMmmm no I'm not trying to provoke any reaction - just giving an honest opinion. I spent 12 years running adult training courses and more coaching.
With DC I will always broach the subject with parents and say eg I notice that x sometimes struggles with xyz - is there anything we can do to help? I've even asked parents if they have had DC eyes and ears checked. I've had a child we struggled with for two years until we found out that the child actually attended an ADHD special educational setting. (By which point other parents had just labelled him as naughty).
If we'd have known at the outset it would have been much more help for all; including the rest of the group.
We have children with autism, hearing loss etc and can adapt our methods if we know. We can make adjustments to ensure they get the best experience.
My job is to teach DC - so it helps if we know. Nothing more.
It's not about being nosy. With adults it's the same. Trainers want to help people learn. (It's not a job most people do for mega bucks lol)

MaryStuart · 27/11/2021 09:53

@LIZS

No it is not for OH to pass on information unless you request and agree to it. A good trainer wants their students to get maximum benefit from a course, and would prefer to know if there are barriers to overcome or adjustments made. Is there any feedback questionnaire? Was it a course which can be followed on or become accredited, in which case you may choose to consider flagging any issues next time, if appropriate.
If they were a good trainer then I agree @CheeseMmmm that the time to ask that question is before the course. Not at the end, and not phrased the way the Op has said it. Of course that is going to make you feel shit. That is not the actions of a good trainer.
ineedsun · 27/11/2021 09:59

I used to work as a lecturer and would quite often pick up on things that students were struggling with which might indicate neuro diversity which had been missed at school. So the choice is don’t say anything for fear of upsetting them and risk them struggling for the rest of the course or ask them if they have or might have any issues. Loads of our students would end up with diagnoses of various things and subsequent reasonable adjustments which helped them succeed in their degree. Some were even able to get medication which helped in normal life too.

CorrBlimeyGG · 27/11/2021 10:04

You've not been judged and they have not assumed. They've asked the question.