Help with line management

[Wishingitwassummer]

I was promoted at the start of the year and I am really starting to struggle with my line management responsibilities.
Does anyone have any advice for me on how to manage a team that are mostly lazy and moany?
I consider myself to be fair - but they have definitely started to show they are taking the piss and it’s really getting me down.

Get some books to help you ( one I like is first time manager secrets)

Toughen up & outline what you expect by when. Show disappointment when/if not delivered

Get the Rules of Management by Richard Templar. It's very helpful!

Thanks so much for your suggestions!
I never expected work to affect my home life so much. I’m constantly thinking of ways to improve and make things better for all of us. I know that I need to toughen up - these people are not my friends. I need to change my attitude in that respect. They might not like it, but I have tried just being nice and this is where it has got me.

'Radical candor' book and website deal with exactly that issue of niceness etc

I disagree with the tone of your OP. Everyone in the team is moany and lazy? So listen to them. You don’t have to agree with them, you can tell them that the expectations of the job are higher than they are currently achieving, but if you’ve written them off before even starting then it’s not going to go well.
Most people want to do a good job. Remembering that will stand you in better stead. Have 1:1s, and get to know them. Your job is to get the best that they can offer out of them. If the best that they can offer isn’t enough then your job is to performance manage them, out (ideally to another position that they are more suited to).
On a 1:1, what is it that makes them moany. Even if you disagree, do they feel underpaid, overworked, looked over for promotion? Do they struggle because they feel unsupported? Do they not like the job? What 1 thing would they like to change and help them get there. Eg they want their role to be more X? So set them an achievable target to do more X and prove they can do it. Praise improvement.
It is tiring - I have managed a team that had a bad reputation, and fairly so, but I got more out of them by understanding what was important to them than by writing them off.

Hi OP. It's very frustrating in the early days as the group dynamic has changed. Groups go through stages- forming, storming, norming and adjourning. Most groups never get past the storming stage even well established groups.
You have to just gently remind members of companies goals and expectations and where they fit in to that. Set SMART targets and in 1:1 meetings over performance ask them to help you understand what issues they are having at not meeting goals then ask them what they need to achieve the goal.
They will fight back like crazy over this as they want autonomy and flexibility but at the same time expect a manager to sort all their issues.
What's the number and age range of the team you manage? I've found older long serving members far more resistant to any form of change.
If you can get one or two people on side the rest will eventually follow.
Don't think conflict is all bad. Lots of new ideas can come out of discussion that feels negative at the time.

@newmumwithquestions
I haven’t written them off before starting. I have worked with them and listened to every little pathetic moan that they have. I have sorted problems for them that they should be doing themselves. It is only after nearly a year I have realised I cannot continue with this babysitting.
While they might feel underpaid, there is nothing that can be done about that. It is public sector.
They are certainly not overworked.
They get time off when they ask for it for child related things, funerals etc.
I think the problem is that I have started to separate myself more and maybe show more authority and they don’t like it.

Were you PART of the team before and now you're the team leader, or are you new to the team?

Some of them were there before I started. Some have came into the role through redeployment so I had nothing to do with recruitment.
I’m just really tired of it all but I am determined to do well and work on my management style. I have already ordered the book suggested.
I know my posts sound pretty aggressive - I really don’t mean them too, I’m just really frustrated.

As someone above said, it can feel quite isolated as a manager - especially if you stepped up from the team you are on.

In general, modern management theory suggests you need to get at least one person on side to turn a team - so it's important to find that person.

Laziness is complex, obviously, but for me the three key things would be that people need to feel appreciated, be incentivised and, in very basic terms, get some enjoyment/fun from their day-to-day work - what you can do in each of those areas will depend on the type of management role you have. 'moany' is not a very useful description - presumably they all moan about different things - maybe those things are important to them?

As a manager, I would say that to win trust (which you need if you want to be effective) you have to be fair, transparent and authentic - but you also need to have some kind of vision/purpose that your staff can understand and 'see' in your actions - even if they don't necessarily agree with it.

Management is very tough at first for many people - but it's also learnable, and reading about the science is good. One thing that helped me a lot when I first started was a couple of different courses that helped me categorise people into different personality types. Nowadays, I think it doesn't matter so much which particular categorisation you use - they are all tools that help you focus on different individuals' drivers / triggers / behaviours and reflect about how you can work with each different person to get the best performance, because the answer won't be the same for everyone.

Don't feel too despondent - it usually gets much easier over time.

[quote Wishingitwassummer]@newmumwithquestions
I haven’t written them off before starting. I have worked with them and listened to every little pathetic moan that they have. I have sorted problems for them that they should be doing themselves. It is only after nearly a year I have realised I cannot continue with this babysitting.
While they might feel underpaid, there is nothing that can be done about that. It is public sector.
They are certainly not overworked.
They get time off when they ask for it for child related things, funerals etc.
I think the problem is that I have started to separate myself more and maybe show more authority and they don’t like it.[/quote]
This is exactly me as a manager, I've people constantly coming in late and I'm sure it's because they feel they are poorly paid and worth more- well I can't change that! You chose this job, this is the salary, just do the hours you are paid for!!!!

@friedeggandsauce
How do you cope? Have you confronted the lateness? The majority have arrived late to work on multiple occasions. I haven’t said anything - as I was so new to the job I’ll be honest - I didn’t know how to.
I’m like a bubbling pot. I really thought I would explode last week, everything just sort of came to a head. I gel it together at work. It’s my home life that is suffering because of it.

You need to get hr involved in the issues and forming improvement plans. If HR don't back you in tackling the issues then you are in trouble.

Does your organisation have a mentoring scheme? A mentor can be a great sounding board.
Agree (from bitter experience) that if theres a ring-leader/influencer/'popular girl' in the team, you must, must, must get them on your side and work to get them to get the rest of the team on board.

No they don’t have a mentoring scheme. There is a ringleader! Quite gobby. You say from bitter experience - what happened with you?

It's a long time ago when I managed a newly put together team with some of these issues.
One solution I remember was allowing no moaning unless they also came up with solutions to whatever the problem was.
This helped to subdue the gobby ones, as I could point out how easy it was to be moany and negative, but how was that going to help the team?
If they persisted, I'd put them in charge of a subgroup to come up with ideas to sort whatever it was, and present them to the team for discussion next meeting.

@Giggorata I love that idea!

Do you have regular team meetings and individual catch ups? If so, comment you've noticed recently that people are late etc. Whilst you try to be flexible and accommodating, it's important people are here on time.

Basically work out your expectations and communicate them. If not complied with, what action will you take? For me, I'd have to start saying no as people are taking advantage of my flexibility. I would say exactly that in a team meeting. It puts a bit of peer pressure on people. If they want the flexibility they make sure no one takes the piss as it will bite them in the arse.

Involve the team in decisions about the team. It's so much easier when they work things out and there's less likely to be resistance and complaining.

Are you working remotely or are you back in the office? I think it can be harder to change management style once you've started in a team but by no means impossible. I was similar in my first management post, but found it a lost easier when I moved teams to start on the right footing as I'd had practice of what didn't work! Public sector is bad for not providing any support for managers.

We are office based.
Yes the no training has been poor and I knew that was the case unfortunately. I was ignorant to how difficult line management can be in all honesty.
I must say that my own line manager has been very supportive. She is in regular contact and at first I played down these issues as I thought I could handle it. I know she will offer me support with this.
We do have regular team meetings but not enough 1:1s. That is something I know that I need to improve on and will need to make more time available for it.

I think it sounds like your team see you as a soft touch and are now taking liberties.
Deal with the quick wins first and restore some respect.
The lateness for example, people try it on then see you dont mention it so they start a bit later, by which time the rest of the team have noticed so they start doing it to.
We have lateness trackers, 3 times late for no genuine reason and it goes to a formal warning.
The message will soon get out that your creating boundaries.

@Wishingitwassummer

We are office based. Yes the no training has been poor and I knew that was the case unfortunately. I was ignorant to how difficult line management can be in all honesty. I must say that my own line manager has been very supportive. She is in regular contact and at first I played down these issues as I thought I could handle it. I know she will offer me support with this. We do have regular team meetings but not enough 1:1s. That is something I know that I need to improve on and will need to make more time available for it.

I got a book about asking coaching questions called "the coaching habit: say less, ask more" a while ago because I started to feel like my 1:1s with my team weren't as effective as they could be. It's be a slow process, but it's helped people to find solutions to problems that they bring me and there has been a change where my team come to me with a problem and a solution.

The other thing that I've found with 1:1s is to plan them a month in advance, don't wait until the last minute. Put them in yours and their calendar well in advance so 1. Your team know they are happening and 2. They can come prepared if there are things they want to discuss.

Also, nip lateness / poor behaviour in the bud. Address it (privately) same day - don't leave it to simmer, because otherwise those you manage will carry on not realising that you think it's a problem.

It's hard when you first become a manager, but you also need to see yourself as a leader - role model the behaviour you expect. Also, be prepared that not everyone will like you - that's ok, you can't be liked by everyone.

Thanks everyone. Really great suggestions that I will absolutely take on board. I’m determined to sort this out.