I'm being driven insane

[Shehasadiamondinthesky]

Very very long story short, I'm being driven insane by someone I befriended who is in the process of being disciplined out.
I try to support team members but this one has attached herself to me like an octopus.
This morning I got 12 emails during a really busy time asking me to email various team leaders to ask if she could work with me all the time (she isn't in my team) which I'm not going to do and so eventually after many months of this I eventually snapped and said I'm fed up with this, I can't get any work done and if you want changes at work contact your team leader yourself but i'm too busy with this, that and the other to work with you, which I am.
This evening she's rung about 6 ties and i've had to switch my phone off because I'm going mad and now we are onto the sorrowful what have I done text messages.
I've spelled out what the problem is and i've said we won't be working together again because I don't want to which I thought was better than a random excuse.
Now I'm getting texts saying she wants to kill herself.
Really not sure where to go from here, her manager is useless, just ignores her and shuts the office door.

If you have concerns about her mental health you could escalate to HR?

If she’s threatening to harm herself tell her you have no option but to inform the police who will do a welfare check.

Have you reported her to HR , she sounds as if she needs some mental health support.

@OverweightPidgeon

If she’s threatening to harm herself tell her you have no option but to inform the police who will do a welfare check.

Have you reported her to HR , she sounds as if she needs some mental health support.

^^This! Never mind the work situation, this is a disturbed person who may or may not harm themselves. If in doubt call 999.

Omg i was not expecting your thread to escalate to that! I definitely think you need to get HR involved ASAP and probably the police.. she’s obviously unwell and I think the nicest thing you can do is shove this to HR and police so you can get her some help/change to occur. Otherwise you are leaving her to continue this pattern which is obviously dire & potentially very very serious. Good luck xx

HR has been involved, the mental health team has been involved everyone has been involved. They are getting rid of her on mental health grounds and she has just been sitting in the office doing not much for the last year and wandering in and out of peoples departments.
I honestly don't know how management can be so useless.

She has been threatening to kill herself for the last year everytime things don't go her way so I am not convinced she will do it.
I don't feel I should be constantly blackmailed like this considering I am looking after a very ill young family member and have a lifelong mental illness myself which I manage very well on medication so that it doesn't affect my work.
Quite honestly management needs to manage her until she leaves which they are not doing not let her wander about in other peoples departments.
HR is doing very little, there must be somewhere else for me to go to sort this out so I am left alone.

I don’t think the fact that she’s made these threats before means you can ignore them this time. I wouldn’t want that kind of guilt on my conscience. I’d check on her, get someone to check on her.
Going forward if it’s a work phone she’s messaging you on can you turn it off? It’s your personal one block her number. Tell HR exactly what’s happened and let them know you cannot be responsible for dealing with her out of hours. Can you work from home for a bit?
Sounds like a really shitty situation for everyone

They are getting rid of her on mental health grounds

Is that legal?

What a mess.

You need to separate work from private - if she has texted you about killing herself inform the police on this occasion.

Log everything with your manager, her manager and HR.

Tell her you are not able to take personal texts/calls and block her number.

You can, imo, tell work they need to protect you as this is now affecting your mental health.

@OverweightPidgeon

They are getting rid of her on mental health grounds

Is that legal?

If she's unable to do the work then eventually they can get rid of her on medical grounds, yes, assuming they show they've been reasonable in trying to accommodate her.

Imagine the manager has got to the same position as you, got fed up and tried to find a way to opt out. Not that it’s ok but if she is leaving anyway they may just be picking their battles

I've just had the same minus the suicidal threat.
New girl going the same job as I but on another team.
Tried to help her which ended up with me doing all her work. Constant phone calls and texts both inside and out of the office.
Drove me crazy.
Luckily for me our company is proactive when dealing with staff issues, they soon picked up on the fact that she wasn't doing any work and that I was doing it all, when I submitted her work its linked to me electronically, she didn't realise anyone would notice, she got sacked 2 weeks ago, I hate to say it buts it's been bliss.
My advice is to block her number, go into work today and tell your manager again what's happening and insist they either sort her out or tell her to leave you alone, she's not your responsibility.
Be firm with her if she comes to you "X if you need anything please speak to your manager, I'm far too busy to help you. Your behaviour on text last night was totally unprofessional and for my own mental health I am going to have to take a step back"
Good luck

@OverweightPidgeon

They are getting rid of her on mental health grounds

Is that legal?

It is when you literally haven't done ANY work for over a year, have used up all of your sick leave and often just don't turn up for work without ringing and they have exhausted all of the medical and psychiatric options.

@Shehasadiamondinthesky oh god , it sounds a nightmare, she obviously needs help but you aren’t the one responsible for doing so.

Yikes well that went badly.
She didn't turn up for work today and nobody could get hold of her so I told her manager she'd been threatening suicide (again) and they sent the police round.
She burst in screaming and shouting later on, crying hysterically shouting which one of us c*s called the police, how dare you etc ad nauseam. Then stormed off out again.
Hopefully that will be the end and they will sack her now.
Nothing like a bit of high drama at work

In fairness I'd be pretty upset if my work summoned the police to my house (because a police welfare check is usually very heavy handed and neighbours make assumptions about why the police are there), but I appreciate this is a snippet of a bigger picture.

I hope it can be resolved as calmly and fairly as possible for everyone.

If someone has threatened suicide and doesn’t turn up for work then I think the employer has a duty of care to make sure they are ok tbh.

@OverweightPidgeon

If someone has threatened suicide and doesn’t turn up for work then I think the employer has a duty of care to make sure they are ok tbh.

I haven't suggested otherwise. It's entirely possible for both things to be true at once - that the employer fulfilled their duty of care but that it was also a distressing and violating experience for the employee.

Both things can be true at the same time. They don't invalidate each other.