Toxic senior colleague

[shininglight16]

Hi guys,

I'm working for a government organization as an external consultant and the Director has put a senior consultant in charge of supervising my work.

She's extremely cunning, calculative and so smooth at it that nobody would believe me if I spoke against her. She's also very very good at her work, making it all the more difficult for me to speak up against her.

Lately, she's been acting like a total bitch, ignoring my messages to her asking for some help or access to something that only she has to being an internal employee. She keeps me hanging for hours, doesn't reply or replies the following week with no apology nothing.

She also micromanages everything and gets me to do added work which is frustrating. She is the typical jealous, envious types who wants to be the centre of attention and doesn't like others getting praised for their work. For my last project, the Director praised me in front of everyone and I could see how jealous she was, it shows on her face. I sensed there was something wrong with her when I started working for them and on the very first day when I introduced myself, she gave me a dirty look.

The thing is, I do have previous experience with another government organization and she may have heard the Director talk about it.

She's also very curious about everytime I talk to the Director and keeps asking what I've spoken to him/what has he told me.

I don't want to come across as unprofessional or a trouble maker by complaining about her since I had a similar experience in the previous organization and that girl was so damn clever she put me in a bad light. I want to tread carefully, let the Director know indirectly and not let her affect my work.

I'm not good at playing games/dirty politics and really need guidance as it's causing me anxiety.

Thank you!

Wow that’s a difficult situation.

My 2 cents, nonetheless:

Avoid her if you can. And be polite but don’t share anything with her that you don’t have to tell her.

Try to communicate only by email or text with her. Difficult, I know. But this way, there’s no discussion possible about what has been said and agreed on. She can’t twist your words.

Keep a log of everything she does that could be considered work bullying, I mean the micromanaging and snide remarks. It will help you build up a file that you can take to HR.

Good luck

Keep a log and then after this project make it clear that you will not work for her again and detail reasons. She’s good at her job but if you are too your opinion will be valued

Sadly there are plenty like this in govt - they crave senior attention and I’m afraid it was probably game over when the director praised you!

If she doesn’t do something and that hinders your ability to do what they’re paying you for then chase her up the following day and copy in the director. She’ll soon start doing it promptly. Don’t worry about her hating you, she already does! Something like “hi x, gentle nudge - I can’t do x until you’ve given me access to x, grateful if you could do that today please.”

What is she like with other people?
Do you think she is jealous because you have prior experience? But isn't she senior to you anyway so she must be experienced?

Also several hours to get back k to you isn't necessarily a long time. She couns have other things to do as well. It's not always possible to get back to someone the same day.

Forgive me for asking OP. I am conscious that there are usually two sides to things like this.

Have you thought about asking for a move? I worked for HMRC & there were some managers you just knew to avoid, you held your breath every time there was a reshuffle in hope you didn't get them. Could you use career development as a reason, the management will have a good idea that her style of management doesn't suit everyone but there is always room for movement. Do you have quarterly assessment meetings? You can always ask for a change at your meeting, especially if you have worked in that department a long time.

If you’ve had a similar experience in your previous organisation and your assessment of this woman’s motives currently is largely based on a sense you get and how you perceive her facial expressions then I wouldn’t be letting the director know anything, that’s unlikely to play well for you. Do you mean director as in SCS2 level? If someone of that seniority in central government has put a consultant senior to you in charge of your work then I think you have to try your hardest to work well with her, frustrating as it is when you’re waiting for email replies. The director is likely to see it as they’re paying externals for a service and they just want to get what they’re paying for - they won’t have the capacity or inclination to get involved in people management issues with people that aren’t in their reporting chain. As a consultant I wouldn’t want to piss them off if they can offer you future work. You can be factual about why you’re struggling to deliver things to deadline if that’s happening as a result of her sending late replies, though.

As said above cc her boss when she is not giving you what you need. I wouldn't complain to HR, that probably won't go well. As you are hired by them, just try to keep her boss sweet. In other words play her at her own game. Welcome to the government!

OK - dh - 30 years experience as a consultant for big 4.

Recognises the situation and says it's difficult to solve. Fundamentally he says you should not embarrass her because that will not help.

When you ask for something and you don't get it - pull her aside and explain that you can't do your job until you get the piece of information, ask what's stopping her providing it to you - maybe you could have access to it as well - appear helpful and offer if there's anything you can do to help, offer solutions. You are supposed to be able to work with difficult people, understand their position and work with it. And as a Director - this is what he would say to you if you went to him.

I really feel for you, I’m in a similar position, I’m being gaslighted by a colleague, she’s thrown me under the bus a couple of times too. Why are some people just so nasty?