Is this work place bullying?

[Fizzybottle56]

Would love to read others views on this situation and see what they would do. I work in a team of 12. There have been issues in the past with bitchyness etc. Lots of petty background stuff I can't be bothered to go into. Today I've found out a colleague has organised a work outing and invited everyone in the team apart from me and our manager. We all share the same manager. She's gone to the lengths of messaging everyone direct apart from me and our boss. She has done it on purpose to make me feel excluded. What would you do? Ignore and carry on, or inform a manager Of her shitty behaviour?

People like her need to be stopped. Are you particularly friendly with the manager. Even so its not on.

How did you find out about it then? Did someone else mention it?

How do you know it's on purpose? Does she have any reason to exclude you? Are you having an affair with the manager?

Me and this colleague who organised the event fell out back in April because she anf another person in our team was being horrible about another colleague and excluding someone else. I reported it in my review and it all blew up. I told my manager in confidence and he told them what I had said. Me and this colleague have never spoken since. We all work from home and only go into the office a few times a month. I went in to the office and someone from our team told me in confidence that this person had organised a team event and has messaged everyone direct apart from me and our manager because of what happened a few months ago. I said thank you for telling me but why have you told me this? Which they replied "because i think it's wrong and I do not want you to find out over social media". I have no idea how to deal with this situation but it's affecting my mental health.

For context I work in an office for a serious company.

It's unpleasant and sounds deliberate, but in addition, the colleague who told you has deliberately stirred. I'd be looking for a new job.

I whistle blew and my manager basically reprimanded them both, but they worked out it was me who spoke out.

I'd probably tell my manager that I was feeling isolated at work and mental health suffering cos of this. Sounds like some workplace training is needed on (1) managers not dropping employees in the shit after confidential conversations and (2) people calling out shitty behaviour, directly rather than in a stirring way, if they want to work in a half decent workplace culture.

If I got an invite that had deliberately excluded someone I wouldn't accept. Simple.

Deliberately excluding someone is definitely bullying, I would discuss with your boss. What a bitch!

Yes it is workplace bullying, she is purposefully isolating you.

There was a recent tribunal case where the the claimant was successful in similar circs because the organisation did nothing about it when it was raised. I would put in a grievance and see what happens.

If I raise this to my manager I can't see how it can be resolved when it's an event happening outside of work hours?

@melissasummerfield

Yes it is workplace bullying, she is purposefully isolating you.

There was a recent tribunal case where the the claimant was successful in similar circs because the organisation did nothing about it when it was raised. I would put in a grievance and see what happens.

To be clear on terminology, workplace bullying is unpleasant and dehumanising but it is not recognised or given a specific status in law, whereas harassment, because it is tied to one of the 9 protected characteristics covered by the Equality Act (2010) is against the law.

I presume the "recent tribunal case" related to harrassment rather than bullying.

OP you have been marginalised and retaliated against due to reporting your colleagues poor behaviour. Whistleblowing is a specific term meaning that an employee uses the company's whistleblowing process to report any act deemed illegal, illicit, unsafe, fraud, or abuse of taxpayer funds. It includes safeguarding.

What you describe doesn't come anywhere close to these serious misdemeanours. With all due respect it sounds more like kids in a playground that needs to be handled and resolved by HR and management.

Any other advice would be welcomed

Is the event this person organised work related or just a social event that she invited coworkers to?

What do you mean by works outing? If it's on work time or with works money, I'd think that would be against company policy. Or is it a private get together, organised for outside work hours?

Although it makes for a bad atmosphere and is hurtful to the op, does the law rule what you are allowed to do outside the workplace? So for instance, if you had a birthday party, are you obliged to invite everyone from the office - even if you don't like them? I used to go out with a group from my office which didn't include everyone, although obviously office parties or meals were different and everyone was invited. I don't know.
You could take a complaint against them but ultimately what would that achieve? They'd be forced to include you next time? So then would they all welcome you or would you be invited and then shunned for getting them into trouble?

Is it really a work outing? Does this colleague have the responsibility to organise such a thing? Or is it a social get-together for friends outside of work hours? They’re different.

@Fizzybottle56

If I raise this to my manager I can't see how it can be resolved when it's an event happening outside of work hours?

If it is an event outside of work hours and presumably not a work-related event, the organiser should not have used work time, equipment or email/messaging to contact the other staff members.

Maybe approach it that way.

If there was another incident it looks to me as if she has form for bullying and isolating people. And folk go along with it because they are scared if they don't they will be the next victim. Like you were when you reported her. Sounds like your manager handled the first incident really badly, given her more power and made things worse for you.

If I liked the job and it suited me I'd stick it out especially if its working from home. Under the circumstances if you weren't a manager was it wise to have reported this person when the incident didn't involve you.

Exclusion is a form of bullying

Even though the meetup is out of work it's still work related

I'd probably not talk to the manager as when they were told in confidence previously they betrayed your trust. Doesn't give me confidence in their professionalism

Probably a blessing you're working from home, at least you don't have to see her

My previous job had bullying and cliques and it was a horrible, horrible place

I think raising it just starts a process of being conscious of an unpleasant work environment. If employers want to develop good cultures where people bring their best selves to work and thrive, they need to start talking about how vindictive actions like this make people feel and the knock on effect at work. People can do what they like outside work to an extent, but if employers makes a point of frowning on crappy behaviour it can make people think twice and do better.

Do you want to go to the party? It doesn't sound like you do?

I had someone do this to me. I just laughed at how sad she was. She hated me being friends with my best friend as she wanted to be her best friend. I asked my friend I’d she was going and she said ‘hell no, why would anyone want to be involved in that shitshow!’

Let them get on with it set of losers head down at work earn your money and go home. Don't take it personally there bitches your better off excluded!

Did you tell the manager this person has stopped talking to you since the last incident?

I'm not sure that reporting it will help - you have reported once and this person clearly couldn't give a toss because they are now treating you the same way.

I would let it go and start looking for a new job.