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Original poster

Low level bullying in new job escelated today.

49 replies

NotSoSureFace · 28/10/2021 20:20

Name changed for this one.

I started a new job 3 weeks ago. Lots of transferable skills but ultimately new to the organisation and the role.

It's a small team, 1 person has worked in the office for a good few years, sees herself as “mum” her words, not mine and then I'm new.

Long term lady is behaving oddly, leaving important info put of training, silent treatment all very strange but today it all blew up over an email from a manager which she took offence to.

Tears, doors slamming, accusations that I'm trying to steal her job, I'm not at all. Accumulated in her leaving at lunch time as sick and apparently not coming in tomorrow so I'm on my own.

I've let our line manager know, they don't work at our site, they are supportive. Ultimately I need to know how to move forward on Monday so we can just get on with working together without all the one sided drama?

OP posts:

Original poster

NotSoSureFace · 30/10/2021 20:53

Thank you

OP posts:

BeggarsMeddle · 30/10/2021 22:42

I would add that you are obviously not 'incompetent'. On the back foot and not fully trained yet, all through no fault of your own.

Hats off to you that you've got on with what you can and kept things going.

WIshing you all the best on Monday. Try not to dread it; you have a supportive manager, your notes, and her entirely unnecessary text. If it's any comfort she's probably been busy getting her righteous knickers in a twist, hence the weekend visit to the office, and likely won't be looking forward to Monday either, if she has an iota of sense.

Original poster

NotSoSureFace · 31/10/2021 16:50

She has called in sick for a few days, what a relief!

OP posts:

SpookyS · 31/10/2021 16:55

Bloody hell, do NOT answer a message on your private phone.

That is beyond inappropriate. And tell your manager that she has done this over a weekend.

Opal8 · 31/10/2021 17:24

Is this a new role?
Why did the last person leave?
I would bet she's done this before?
Be careful...HR may not be as good as you are thinking...

justasking111 · 31/10/2021 17:59

Don't engage on personal phone in fact block her now. HR may well be useless. Just document every. You'll have a better week if she's thrown a sickie

Original poster

NotSoSureFace · 31/10/2021 18:10

@Opal8

Is this a new role? Why did the last person leave? I would bet she's done this before? Be careful...HR may not be as good as you are thinking...

Let's just say the previous person in the role did something they shouldn't have done and we're let go and I replaced them.

They were good friends to the point that the ex-colleague is invited to the office Christmas lunch.

It's very apparent she doesn't want me there. None of that is my problem though.

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User983590521 · 31/10/2021 19:57

Wow.
It's totally weird that the person who was sacked for misconduct is invited to the office Xmas lunch.

Pinkbonbon · 31/10/2021 20:05

Is there during to be some sort of progress report on your work op? Could she be taking a few days off so as not to train you in something crucial before then?

I always think her kind have a motive for the things they do that does not bode will for us. Bullies are rarely 'embarassed' by their behaviour (so I don't think the time off is because of that).

Mind you it could be that she thinks the longer you have to wait to see her again, the more anxious you will get.

Pinkbonbon · 31/10/2021 20:05

*due to be

LindaLooky · 31/10/2021 20:16

Wow. She cant handle having an adult woman working with her and is losing the plot over it. She must be massively insecure. The "mum" comment was designed to put you in your place, cos she cant use the phrase "top dog" without sounding like an inmate at Wentworth.

Carry on as you are. Be factual in your conversation with manager, they might feel a sense of loyalty to the arsehole, so just stick to how the training has gone, how she has reacted and the contact over weekend.

WeAreTheHeroes · 31/10/2021 20:28

Queen Bee syndrome and quite possibly misplaced loyalty to your predecessor who was sacked. Her issue may actually be with the management rather than you.

NeverDropYourMooncup · 31/10/2021 20:53

I'm assuming that you didn't consent to her accessing your personnel file to get your personal mobile number in order to harangue you at the weekend, did you?

Something else to inform HR about.

Original poster

NotSoSureFace · 31/10/2021 21:25

at Wentworth Inmate!

I'm feeling much better knowing I'm on my own again tomorrow and maybe Tue and hopefully Wed.

By the time she comes back I should be much more confident in the process, I've written my own to do list this evening working out how to cover everything.

It's a business that although we don't work weekends, many departments do and our work builds up over the weekend for us to catch up on on a Monday morning (dread to think what she has thought of my routine on Friday that she has probably adjusted on her visit)

OP posts:

justasking111 · 02/11/2021 14:26

@NotSoSureFace must have been a quiet day yesterday hope you managed okay

Original poster

NotSoSureFace · 02/11/2021 19:36

She still isn't back, it's been lovely and I've had some great help from other departments which has proved it's just her and not the environment.
I'm much more up to speed now and have my confidence back.

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SalsaLove · 02/11/2021 19:48

I’m three months in to a similar although less dramatic situation. I just started ignoring her except when I absolutely had to ask a question. Forge alliances with others and be as proactive as you are comfortable with. And best of luck!

Original poster

NotSoSureFace · 02/11/2021 21:35

@SalsaLove

Sorry to hear that as it's not nice.

The best advice I've had is to diary document everything, shouldn't have to but it's going to be invaluable when she pushes it too far again and I have no doubt she will.

Lots of luck to you as well.

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Original poster

NotSoSureFace · 05/11/2021 18:40

I don't even know where to start.
My thread title reads misleadingly to me now as things took a bigger turn today.

She came back yesterday and today I was happily treated to the same silent treatment peppered with aggressive questions on why I did things this or that way as yesterday. I stuck with the newbie card and tried to tell her to direct any issues to her line manager (the same LM as me)

I think my problem is not being able or wanting to deal with confrontation and being a professional.

We had a senior lead pop in to the office just before I left. He doesn't manage either of us. She started a conversation in front of me about the up coming restructures - basically, new roles above our pay grade are being created and we can apply for them (as can anyone). She said “Managers name has hired her to go up against me”

I ignored that, continued working and took a phone call and out the corner of my eye I saw her point at me and say “she is going for xyz role”

I'm not by the way, well I might, I haven't even seen it advertised or read the job description yet.

I'm documenting everything and management/HR are collating it all, she has only been back in the business 2 days.

It's starting to become really draining, I'm struggling to concentrate plus she is leaving all the work for me to do which is fine because at least I'm busy for the time to pass so I can get out of there.

I'm not leaving, I won't be bullied out of a role I've worked so hard for and love doing already.

Thank fuck its Friday!

OP posts:

justasking111 · 05/11/2021 18:50

Stay strong if you love the job @NotSoSureFace

Original poster

NotSoSureFace · 05/11/2021 18:57

@justasking111

Stay strong if you love the job *@NotSoSureFace*

I started by feeling sorry for her, she had no reason to feel threatened by me at all and it could have gone so well.

Now I'm cross, she is a bully and a shit pretend supervisor and as much as I don't do confrontation, I can stand firm and let her bury herself.

I just hope it doesn't take too much longer, I'm having to concentrate on my mental health far much more than I should be for 3 weeks in to a new job.

OP posts:

Weenurse · 06/11/2021 07:12

Keep your head down and keep documenting?

BeggarsMeddle · 06/11/2021 07:18

You haven't been scared off so she's upping the ante. She's no Poker player though.

How much more evidence does HR/management need to collate? To me, it seems an intolerable situation for you to be in if there's no end in sight.

PaulaTrilloe · 06/11/2021 07:37

I had one of those Mrs Slocombe self appointed supervisors in a previous job. She actually sabotaged a computer to prove I was incompetent at my job by not finding the fault. I sensed something was up but could not specifically woelrk out what it was. I got on well with our actual supervisor who was covering for the previous manager who left suddenly . He had concerns about her behaviour which had become increasingly erratic. My complaint filled a missing gap. She went off sick for 6 months and then suddenly changed jobs and was moved to another department. She had done that job for 8 years

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