Probationary meeting with line manager, how do I talk about this professionally?

[scaredoftheoffice]

I have a review meeting with my line managers coming up, as part of my probationary period. I'm quite nervous about it. I've never had a job that has had these kinds of meetings, so I really don't know what I should be saying and not saying...

I have been asked to think about things that have gone well and things that haven't.

For the things that haven't gone well, I wanted to say something along the lines of: I find it hard to estimate how long different tasks will take me, which means sometimes I agree to meeting deadlines that are overly ambitious and that I struggle to meet. I also feel quite stressed when I know multiple people are waiting for things from me, it makes me feel like I'm being too slow or letting people down. I also don't really know what the pretence for this is, and what expectations are regarding when I can say to someone that I can't do that particular task today. Obviously within that there are tasks that are priorities and must be done, but it's difficult gauging the urgency of different tasks.

What I really mean is: My Teams is constantly pinging with people asking me to do things, or checking up on when I can do things, or if I've done things and it sends me into a panic. I secretly make my Teams appear offline in the evening so I can work late trying to get everything done. I feel like I'm going to burn out. I also struggle to say no to people and so I will nod and smile that I can get something done for them even when I know it means I'll be working late at night to meet a deadline.

Have you got a feel for your line managers yet - are they on your side? If it was me I’d want you to say the second half, and I’d work it through with you and record it as the first half.

It sounds to me like they need to help you with:

• how to assess the urgency and importance of tasks, using this to prioritise
• understanding where the limits of your role are, who can task you and what you can push back on.

One option could be that your tasking all comes through a specific manager for a period of time, or that you have quick regular check ins (every day to start with, dropping down to once a week) with them to run through your priority list.

You sound like you’re really feeling alone and struggling. I’ve managed and mentored so many people who are struggling with exactly the same things. Prioritising (and saying no!) is a real skill, it’s ok that you’re struggling and need help with it. Especially as you’re new to the job. What’s not ok is you working to the point of burnout, and your managers need to help you with that.

Firstly, try not to worry, these meetings should be a formality. You shouldn't walk in to these meetings and be hit with any performance issues. (If there are issues these should have been discussed before and you given support to bridge them).

Then it's just a case of turning what you've said here in to a positive, active stance. For example, you might say you really enjoy working digitally with your colleagues. There's lots of collaboration and people obviously feel comfortable coming to you with actions and you're very happy to support the team.

However, if pressed, you might also say that you know you have a tendency to overcommit so would like some support and direction structuring and prioritising your tasks. It's worth also mentioning that the whole team also could be clearer coordinating actions and priorities - are there any meetings or manager which could influence this?

I'd also mention something about that you're working on improving and anticipating proactive communication as you update others on tasks. Sometimes, this is just a cultural thing - I worked at one place where you had to reply to every email you got with a "thank you" or "great, I'll have this back to you next Tuesday" which I thought was a massive faff and waste of time but it was the culture there.

Also, you have to stop working out of hours. You don't have to mention it in this review but you have to stop. People need to rest.

Maybe you can look into some organisational techniques (25min timer then a five min break to focus during boring tasks), booking time out in your calendar, checking email only 3 times a day or upping skills like shadowing a really effective co-worker.

Sorry you’re struggling OP. You’ve got some good advice here. I’d suggest phrasing it as ‘can you give me some guidance on how to …’ as that is a constructive way of showing you’re aware of areas that might be an issue while also underlining to your manager the responsibility of guiding you and supportive you.

Honestly I would focus on what has went well in terms of achievements and what you feel by doing x y or z you can improve on Ie prioritisation and time management

Please don’t treat it as some form of confessional where you talk all about your stress, mental health issues, ability to say no, secret working etc. they aren’t your mum and dad.

Try to put it positively. Ask to clarify expectations and priorities. You are concerned that you may agree to more than is realistic within deadlines. Is there someone to support you in assessing your workload. Is there training for tasks which appear to take linger than you expect.

Could reword and say you understand deadlines need to be met but they seem to be very tight, is there a way I can approach X person if I know the deadline I’ve been given isn’t long enough, how would you (manager) handle this type of situation.

This way you come across as being proactive in asking for help and are up for taking advice.

If you think of a weakness, always try to turn it into a strength or at least a development opportunity. Definitely not a confessional! If they want to keep you on, you don't want to change their mind so definitely focus on what you do well.

Saying that deadlines are quite tight and you would welcome guidance on what is a real deadline, what is a false deadline and how to prioritise is ok.