Help! How to tolerate unbearable micromanagement until I go on Mat leave?

[Fagin99]

I started a new job when I was seven weeks pregnant, it looked perfect on paper and the interview went very well. I've now been there two months and I honestly hate it there.

It's not the work per se (I have over 10 years experience in my industry) but the intolerable micromanagement from my employer and now her protege, too. Every single bit of work has to be approved (even irrelevant stuff) and everything is 'corrected' with completely unnecessary ammendments. Nothing I suggest is ever good enough and I'm not allowed autonomy with anything. All employees have to fill out a timesheet accounting for every minute of the day, and I've already been summoned to the boss' office to explain why I spent 30 mins more than 'necessary' on a task. It didn't seem to matter that I'm new and still learning, or pregnant and feeling exhausted. I seem to be treated worse than others there. I sincerely hope it's because I'm new rather than a pregnancy thing. I genuinely don't think I'm crap at my job - feedback from clients has been excellent.

If I wasn't pregnant, I would leave, but I'm due to go on mat leave in March. Ideally, I want to stick at it until then for the money and also because I don't know who else would enploy me whilst pregnant and only two months after a new job. But it's unbearable - I sometimes don't know how I'm going to get through the day without going mad.

Does anyone have any advice for dealing with such unbearable management? It really stresses me out and even makes me feel depressed. It makes me doubt my ability and I'm constantly on edge at work. It's a small company so sadly no HR or union. Thanks in advance x

This sounds awful, it would drive me nuts.
I would challenge their irrelevant amendments every time but in a way that seems reasonable. E.g. I can see you've asked me to word this a certain way, however it means the same thing whichever way it's written. Can I ask why we use such specific wording so I can get it right the next time. Etc.
If they go down a dismissal route then they will have to extremely careful their reasons can not be linked yto your pregnancy.
You won't quality for mat pay with them anyway and I think you will find that there are plenty of temp roles about at the moment, a new employer can not not employ you because you are pregnant and probably won't care if it's a temp role.

Sounds like their trying to bully you out before mat leave starts. Got a union? If you leave because you cat tolerate it it's unfair dismissal isn't it? (check this out with union or ACAS). In the mean time keep a detailed diary, times and dates, emails sent to personal account are good as their time stamped exactly when it happens.
Can you go off with "severe morning sickness" and playing them at their own game? I wouldn't suggest this measure normally but if you thinking they're bullying you...

Did they know you were pregnant when you started? If not then I'd assume they are doing this to try to get you to quit.

I would not want to go back after maternity leave and if that's your plan but you want to hang on until march then you have to care less. Make the amendments. Fill in the activity sheets including the time taken to fill in the activity sheets - you could really have fun with that one.

You need to stay until mat leave because you need the money. You don't have to give a shit. Smile, nod, say thank you, do the changes and collect your wages.

Oh man, I feel for you, OP. A week with a micromanager feels like a year. Seemingly reasonable advice to suck it up and push on through feels impossible. I'd say really focus on every leave day you have between now and then, and what you'll do, and calculate how much money you're bringing in every day you stay, and what your may leave is going to be worth. And remind yourself every morning.

Then also, agree with pp about challenging them - ideally via email so you have it in writing, talk about lack of autonomy etc. If and when you hand i your notice it might be helpful to have documentation of a toxic work environment.

Very sorry you've got to be dealing with this rubbish when you could be focusing on happier things.

Presumably they know your pregnant. Sounds like they are trying to drive you to resign. Try and stick it out. If you can't then go off sick rather than resign.

Thank you so much everyone for your replies. It really means a lot to have somewhere to vent and makes me feel less alone.

No, they didn't know I was pregnant at first. When I told them, she seemed initially really supportive, but all that has changed recently. She even pressured me into telling the team I was pregnant earlier than I wanted to as she said I was coming across as unfriendly (I wasn't joining them for after work drinks). This really upset me and I've never trusted her since.

You're absolutely right. If I stick with the plan to stay until March then I've got to learn to care less. Become robotic. This whole weekend has been ruined by worrying about it and I can't let that happen!

I'm also highly suspicious of their motive, but it's also hard not to think that I'm just terrible at my job sometimes (even though logically I know this isn't true). I will definitely start getting things in writing and emailed in case the worst happens.

Good idea about temp jobs. I will look into it as a plan b. As you say, I won't get SMP anyway.

Why can't people just be nice! X

Also, thank you for all your practical suggestions. Each one has been read and I will give it a go! X

I think you need to stick it out to make sure you have enough credits to get paid maternity. But think of it with view not to return. Aim on getting just enough boxes ticked. If they are going to be correcting everything and fussing over time leave it for them to do the work. Submit without a final look over they can do that. Don't do anything extra unless it asked. When they start picking ect just think to yourself how miserable must they be if they act like this. Think of your baby and maternity leave. When off look for another job.
It awful I have periods of micromanagement at work so draining but at this stage I try focus on they need me more then I need them. When not trying to please them they seem to ease off

I would also take sick days here and there, cannot hold pregnancy related sickness against you

Thank you so much. I will look at your words of advice when I'm feeling like crap tomorrow! You're absolutely right, I just need to do enough to get by and think how miserable they must be to act like that!! Good idea about sick leave too if it starts affecting my wellbeing too much x

Your manager sounds like a clone of mine. Exactly in some ways and I feel for you. It's so hard to deal with.

I have thrown in the towel unfortunately and leaving soon so now advice but you have my sympathy !

Hi all, I know this thread is old but I'm commenting just in case anyone is still watching it. I'm in almost the exact same situation as the OP except I have worked for the company for 3.5 years and it's a colleague, not my manager who had become unbearable. My manager has done nothing about it even though I have raised the issue several times and this person has a history of grievances against them. I'd go as far as to say that my manager actually enables the bullying behaviour.

I've now submitted a formal grievance myself and I'm documenting everything. I'm seriously considering raising a case for constructive unfair dismissal and pregnancy discrimination...but not sure if I can do that after/during MAT leave.

My main concern is future employment. I work in Marketing so my work is very visible. The changes that are being forced on my projects make them into something I don't want my name on. Any future employer is sure to look up the social media,website etc and see this crap and I don't want them thinking this is my doing. I'm sure I could explain at an interview, but I'd surely be rejected by then if they saw this shit first.