To work abroad

[sofadad1]

Hello, I have a bit of a dilemma that I would appreciate some views on.

I work as an accountant in London and I have been offered a 6 month secondment to a big US city next year.

This is a great opportunity for me career wise as it would fit in with my long term goals of being promoted to a senior position. It would also give me a chance to travel (which is sometime I would love to do) and experience a new culture/location. There is a potential pay rise too although this wouldn’t be my motivation for taking the secondment and might be consumed by any relocation costs anyway.

I am only 26 and got married to my long term partner a year or so ago. We don’t have any children (yet anyway). Unfortunately due to his own work commitments by partner wouldn’t be able to come with me.

I can’t decide whether to take the opportunity because I know that I will miss my partner so much. He is supportive either way but agrees that he would also miss me. We would make effort to see each other as much as possible (hopefully a few holidays - covid and us border opening allowing).

What would you do? Is there anything I should consider to help make this decision? I know that my younger self would be screaming at me to take this opportunity but equally I feel very uneasy about going so long without my partner / I am worried that I will be lonely.

Go! It's an amazing opportunity and it's only 6 months.

Six months is nothing. Honestly I'd do it in a heartbeat

Thanks both. Think I needed to hear it! Should be an easy decision but it certainly doesn’t feel like it at the moment

Of course you should do it!

You should do it. Make sure you remain on a U.K. contract and for a 6m secondment the company should pick up the tab for a lot of things - rent/flights/health insurance/tax filing and associated costs - so relocation costs shouldn’t be an issue.

Absolutely do it! It’s a great opportunity and not long

Er, go??

You don’t have children. Now is the time to take these career opportunities.

Go

Surely your relationship is strong enough for 6 months away for you to do something amazing Your not off to be a shot person in a nightclub in Ibiza for 6 months . Do it you will regret it if you don't

Take it! You will regret it otherwise. Depending on your life plans it may not be possible to coordinate later on , and who knows when the next big pandemic will be.

There are likely to be consequences career wise if the company have asked you to go and you don't. They may not be obvious now but in the long run they will be there. 6 months is no time. In the same situation do you think DH would turn down the opportunity?

You should go! Don't be the girl who didn't go to Paris!

(You're probably a good decade too young for that reference pop-culture reference)

6 months is barely any time at all, I wouldn't think twice about that

I can't believe you're even considering saying no - madness

Go, sounds like a fantastic opportunity

@DriftingBlue

You don’t have children. Now is the time to take these career opportunities.

This, without a doubt

6 months? Absolutely yes a million percent.

To add, plenty of people have time away from their partners due to work, especially now with facetime/WhatsApp, quick postal service, covid dependent reasonably priced flights etc. I would honestly take it, 6 months will go quickly and it sounds like an amazing opportunity. If you pass it up you might not get the chance again, and would potentially resent the fact you didn't go because of your partner (if your relationship is strong enough it will easily withstand this).

Hi
I went away from my husband and kids for a work posting recently. I was away for only 8 weeks. It wasn't my first rodeo; I've travelled often for work but l for shorter lengths of absence. I would agree with the others to GO but I would really suggest pushing your husband to commit to at least a month over there with you. I would also strongly suggest a house share or shared apartment rather than living alone. My experience for 8 weeks living alone was that the first four weeks were fine, by week six I was a bit lonely and by week 8 I was full blown homesick. You're younger than me so may find a ready crowd to hang out with and go out with so it may be a better experience for you. Resist going into a sterile hotel or serviced apartment for that length of stay. And join a club or shared activity to ward off the loneliness.

Thanks everyone. Feel that I have the confidence to have a frank conversation about this with my partner and work out some kind of visitation plan that works for us.
Agree that finding some kind of accommodation where I am not overly isolated could be a good solution. Luckily a few colleagues could be relocating at the same time so we would be in it together.

I can't see anything you need to consider. It's 6 months, such a tiny amount of time in a long term relationship and in your life and you'll likely see each other as you said. Plenty couples work apart for such times, army postings for instance can be far more. It's an amazing opportunity that I think you'd regret if you didn't take

Even better if other colleagues are also going!

I wouldn't worry about being lonely (even if other colleagues don't go). You'll have a ready made network at work and I find that the local people at work are very happy to show you around and generally look after you. And if not, join an expats group or take up a hobby/sport and you'll soon find company. Some of my closest friends are people I met when I was sent to work in New York. I also have good friends in Denver and Houston from being sent there. Same for Paris. I've always stayed in serviced apartments and it was fine. Actually I love a serviced apartment. The freedom of your own place without the drudgery of cleaning.

I didn’t go in similar circumstances and regret it