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Original poster

No maternity leave

63 replies

mossyrose · 20/10/2021 21:21

Is there anyone else out there who wasn't able to have a maternity leave? How did you find it physically and emotionally going straight back to work?

OP posts:

Blueroses99 · 20/10/2021 21:45

Look into Maternity Allowance. Also you can save up in advance to cover your maternity time. Two weeks is not realistic at all.

Jijithecat · 20/10/2021 21:45

What would you do if things didn't go to plan and you or baby needed to stay in hospital? My eldest was in NICU for a week and it was so emotionally draining despite the fact that in the grand scheme of things they weren't that unwell.
I thought it was bad enough that DH only had two weeks off when youngest DC was born. The thought of only having two weeks myself would be unbearable.

Lightswitch123 · 20/10/2021 21:46

@Figgygal

Why wouldn’t you get more than 2 weeks? I really wouldn’t recommend this from a health perspective

Agreed. It would be torture .

Notsurewheretogo · 20/10/2021 21:47

When self employed you have many options.

Why can't you take more than 2 weeks? Is it money, loss of clients if you aren't available? Just that you think you can't?

AllThingsServeTheBeam · 20/10/2021 21:49

There is no way I'd have been able to have been able to tell you what day it was after 2 weeks.

What job do you do? Is it flexible? Out of the home?

AllThingsServeTheBeam · 20/10/2021 21:49

Turns out after 10 years I can't even string a sentence together!

AutumnLeafy · 20/10/2021 21:51

You'll also have to look into childcare after the 3 months

Hohofortherobbers · 20/10/2021 21:53

I might have been able to consider it around 4 months post partum but definitely not before then. I would also have struggled to work right up to my due date, I was fit and well with no complications but would have been unable to work due to fatigue and discomfort in the last month of my pregnancy. You need to plan more time off.

MimosaFields · 20/10/2021 22:06

I went back full time after 12 weeks, with quite a long commute. It was shattering. You should really plan at least 10 weeks. I can't imagine anyone physically recovering before that, even if your DH is there full time

BurscoughBooths · 20/10/2021 22:11

My friend went back to full time work after 2 weeks for each of her children. Her DH is primary carer and gave up his own job.
It may well be extremely hard to do just 2 weeks maternity leave but it can be done if that’s what you want.

Original poster

mossyrose · 20/10/2021 22:11

Thank you everyone this is all really helpful to understand your experiences and what might be realistic

OP posts:

Crimblecrumble1990 · 20/10/2021 22:12

I think I wouldn't plan on going back after 2 weeks. Maybe if you feel up to it at that point then yes but you have no way of knowing what's going to happen. My baby spent 3 weeks in the NICU after having a totally normal pregnancy. It would put an insane amount of pressure on yourself to set that deadline. Is it because of financial reasons? Would you not be able to save up a bit so SMP could tide you over for a couple of months?

Lightswitch123 · 20/10/2021 22:15

Also breastfeeding / bonding-can your DH do that? I was so full of hormones I could barely ll leave the baby asleep in another room to take a shower in the first few weeks, being separated from them all day would have sent me insane.

turnthebiglightoff · 20/10/2021 22:18

2 weeks is very unrealistic. You may have a c section / tear / episiotomy / small baby / haemorrhage / and even with a straightforward birth you will find 2 weeks is not nearly enough time to bond with your baby.

nc87653 · 20/10/2021 22:19

You'll get maternity allowance from the government if you're self employed It's not much, but it's enough to tide you over (especially if you save between now and then) so you don't have to go back to work after 2 weeks.

saltontoast · 20/10/2021 22:20

I went back after 4 weeks and DH took 5 months off work. We're coping perfectly fine

mayblossominapril · 20/10/2021 22:24

Maternity allowance is £150 a week paid fortnightly. Then there’s child allowance so that’s £680 every 4 weeks
I took the full 9 months both times, I didn’t feel human before 6 months pp

LorenzoVonMatterhorn · 20/10/2021 22:29

I think if you havent got the savings to take more that two weeks off, and your DH 3 months, you cannot afford a child at the moment.

Newmum29 · 20/10/2021 22:31

I took 5.5 months. Would have been happy to leave Dd at 3 months with dad as she was fully formula fed and only waking once a night. I do 4 days. I would say that’s the minimum.

Can’t imagine doing 2 weeks. Physically your body is only just recovering at 6 weeks even if you have a straightforward birth. Baby may also need to stay in hospital for a few weeks if they need monitoring.

PiesNotGuys · 20/10/2021 22:32

I went back at 2 weeks because I had no choice the first time and hated it. The second time I really felt I needed longer so took 4 weeks, but as self employed, could take baby to work with me, so was better. DH saved the parental leave for when the baby was harder work to entertain and took some then. Then I did a combination of taking baby to work with me and using a childminder for a couple of years.

Tailendofsummer · 20/10/2021 22:36

@LorenzoVonMatterhorn

I think if you havent got the savings to take more that two weeks off, and your DH 3 months, you cannot afford a child at the moment.

Sadly I think this is the case. Not sure how easy it is to get paid childcare for a three month old either.

Fifipop185 · 20/10/2021 22:38

I went back to work full time when DS was 10 weeks. I was the highest earner at the time and we had no choice really. It wasn't too bad but my god I was so tired.

I'd say take as much time as you possibly can OP, 2 weeks is no where near enough time for you to recover physically and mentally and your hormones will be all over the place.

Bigchicken · 20/10/2021 22:47

You're legally entitled to 12 months maternity leave in the UK, regardless of whether you're employed or self-employed or how long you've worked for an employer. As others have said, look into maternity allowance as this pays out for 9 months, plus child benefit which everyone is entitled to unless you or your partner earn above the threshold. If you're paying a mortgage, some banks offer a mortgage holiday for maternity leave so this could help. Two weeks wouldn't be enough time with a new baby - it's life changing and you might not really know how you feel about the maternity leave until the baby arrives.

ChipsAreLife · 20/10/2021 22:47

I went back after four weeks, but it was my third and I was part time. It's my own business so I could pick and choose when I worked. I exclusively pumped so was constantly attached to a pump and a laptop when working. I was exhausted. My plan was to take six months but DH lost all his work overnight due to covid so needs must and all that.

For your first I would say minimum of three months ideally six. Can you save up? Get someone to cover you? It's so hard when you're self employed I know.

Lillibettina · 20/10/2021 23:06

In countries like the US where there is limited maternity support I think 6 weeks is considered the usual minimum. 2 weeks sounds really tough.

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