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Can't get on with my line manager - what can I do?

2 replies

Motnight · 20/10/2021 13:15

I am having real problems working with my line manager. For those of you in the NHS, she is a band 8 c and I am a band 8 a. For those of you not, she is a lead in a programme that I manage. It is a small team of about 8, the programme that I manage almost an add on to the rest of the work.

The team came together around a year ago. We all work from home but even if we didn't we would be in different offices. My line manager (call her C) has had a lot of time away from work with long covid. I didn't know her pre covid so don't know how this may have affected her.

Her role is meant to lead my programme which means attending certain meetings and undertaking lots of vision type work. She does none of this - it was agreed that I could continue to do this work as well as programme manage it as she was knew nothing about it. Which was fine. However since she has become my line manager she constantly criticises me and asks me why I am doing things a certain way. When I respond and explain the situation in more detail it's as though she loses interest, she doesn't acknowledge it, but moves onto something else. This is often done in front of other team members.

Her latest criticism of me is that I should have run it past her that I agreed to a member of a team that reports to me to have 2 hours off in the day and catch up with work in the evening without checking with her. I didn't know because I wasn't kept up to date by her, but the team member and C have had previous conversations around doing something similar. Whereas I had treated it as a one off and agreed. This sounds very petty writing it down but it is one of many issues. I feel as though I am catching up with conversations had that should involve me but don't. Another one for instance is that I was openly and consistently criticised for a decision made by someone senior to me several times, this didn't stop until I had a meeting with C and said that this was unfair, and completely pointless, and she tried to blame her manager.

I used to do my job really well. I honestly don't know if I am anymore. The constant low level criticism is making me doubt myself. My work has increased since the new team has been set up, in spite of me being promised that the opposite would happen. Nothing that my line manager has said or suggested has helped me run my programme in a better way, I honestly am open to improving my performance but none of what she says helps me. Today she also queried why I had finished work at a certain yesterday, knowing that I had been working for over 8 hours. I feel constantly on the alert and ready to have to defend my position. She doesn't treat other colleagues in the same way.

I would really like to know how I can work with C differently. We seem stuck in this cycle of low level criticism, me responding, her moving onto the next thing and then it starts again. I feel as though we have both fallen into this and I would really appreciate any advice about how to change things.

OP posts:
LadyTiredWinterBottom2 · 20/10/2021 19:53

I am leaving a job with a similar manager. The criticism wore me down.

You either play it straight down the middle and call her out in professional way when she does this to you or find another job. She won't change though, if you stay you need to handle it differently and not let it get to you.

underneaththeash · 20/10/2021 21:33

Maybe she’s feeling a bit out of control as she doesn’t really know/understand what’s going on.
Monday morning, could you send her a idea of how the team’s week will pan out…so visions/goals/projects who will have time off when etc.
Keep her in the loop. It will also look better if you do need to get HR involved.

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