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Original poster

How much leave do you take - burnout question

41 replies

CurlewShirley · 15/10/2021 10:22

I’m really burnt out at work and trying to break down how I got here and a plan of how not to get to this point again. I feel like my lack of leave might be a big factor so it would be good to ask for other’s opinions.

I had one week in late March and one week last week. I am covering for a colleague off long term sick (4 months) where the workload was already too much for 2. She also harassed and bullied me but this was swept under a rug.

Anyway, I have been suffering quite bad stress symptoms, racing heart, no sleep, forgetting what I’m doing/saying, no life work balance as I am the last to leave every night (supposed to finish at 5:30pm)

I’m exhausted. How much leave does everyone else take to counter stress or just in general? I get roughly 5 and a half weeks. Thanks.

OP posts:
sourcherries123 · 15/10/2021 10:24

You sound exhausted!! I always take my full holiday entitlement (usually I try and do a week over Xmas, two weeks in the summer and then some long weekends scattered around the rest of the year) and try to finish on time on Fridays, and not work overtime to avoid burnout.

Make sure you communicate with your management if the workload is causing you this much stress.

Original poster
CurlewShirley · 15/10/2021 10:26

Thanks sourcherries, I have told them over and over I can’t cope. I need to leave but my confidence is rock bottom. I’m hoping if I have a good break I can feel like myself again.

OP posts:
Leftbutcameback · 15/10/2021 10:27

I always take my full leave (although we are allowed to bank some to take a longer break once every few years). For me having a longer break is the key. Two weeks away lets you forget work and reset. Or even a week away and a week off at home. I'm sorry you've had such a tough time OP. Does your workplace have any help they can refer you too or an employee helpline? If not I would speak to your gp,

Marmite27 · 15/10/2021 10:28

I take every last second I’m entitled to, plus I buy an extra week.

You need to take your leave Flowers

Original poster
CurlewShirley · 15/10/2021 10:29

I’m wondering about speaking to OCcupational health as when I was being bullied I felt suicidal. I feel like this has all caught up with me at once. I need to leave really but my self esteem has gone further down with each setback at work.

OP posts:
Original poster
CurlewShirley · 15/10/2021 10:29

Does my leave sound like enough for the time period?

OP posts:
hamstersarse · 15/10/2021 10:30

You definitely need to take more leave

What do you think is stopping you do that?

2tired2bewitty · 15/10/2021 10:31

Book two weeks off now, let them discover just how much work you are doing to keep their company going, then have a chat about what needs to change in terms of extra support for you.

GoldChick · 15/10/2021 10:31

Do you work full weeks? If so it might be worth having a Friday off here and there so you can have a proper break? I find when I'm stressed about work I often waste Sunday stressing about it.

hamstersarse · 15/10/2021 10:32

And yes, you do need to leave

There is no shame in that. It's obviously not a good fit - that's fine - sometimes that happens.

Use the weekend to get your CV ready and start applying

Life is too short and there are good places to work out there

Original poster
CurlewShirley · 15/10/2021 10:32

Yes work full weeks, i feel responsible for my service even though I am the bottom banding at work.

OP posts:
Aposterhasnoname · 15/10/2021 10:35

Every last single minute I can is the short answer. I’m absolutely blown away that people don’t use all their leave. Every company I’ve ever worked for insists on it.

Original poster
CurlewShirley · 15/10/2021 10:36

I was told not to take leave if it’s busy, it’s always busy.

OP posts:
hamstersarse · 15/10/2021 10:37

@CurlewShirley

Yes work full weeks, i feel responsible for my service even though I am the bottom banding at work.
You are clearly conscientious and reliable and it is admirable that you want to do a good job

But taking on such responsibility is making you ill.

You are not responsible for the service.

If you stay, you will need to work out why you have burdened yourself with such responsibility - what is it that is making you a perfectionist, afraid to say no? Otherwise you will continue to make yourself ill.

GoldChick · 15/10/2021 10:38

@CurlewShirley

I was told not to take leave if it’s busy, it’s always busy.
I would just ask for the time you want off and let them reject it if they think it will be too busy. Then ask them for suitable dates. In writing.
Original poster
CurlewShirley · 15/10/2021 10:38

@hamstersarse yes this what I have been wondering, I think it was the bullying from 2 colleagues, one the same level and one above. I feel ground down and am not the same person I used to be.

OP posts:
MrsMoastyToasty · 15/10/2021 10:38

I take all my leave. Its part of a contract between employer and employee and should be honoured, not bestowed or withdrawn at the whim of the employer.

If you are suffering stress then take sick leave, not annual leave. It's there for a reason.
If they piss you about get tough and contact your union/ACAS.

Jenjenn · 15/10/2021 10:40

I am off for similar reasons. My gp has advised to expect to be off for 6 weeks...

hamstersarse · 15/10/2021 10:41

btw - it can be something as simple as coming to terms with your agreeableness (personality trait)

You are more than likely highly agreeable, and unless you take steps to address that and become more assertive, it can make you ill.

Some info here about agreeableness at work www.fastcompany.com/40474378/how-to-be-more-assertive-at-work-when-thats-just-not-your-personality

You can do a Big 5 personality test all over the internet.

Viviennemary · 15/10/2021 10:44

In your position I would take some time of sick. Work has only themselves to blame giving you a huge workload and causing this.

NoSquirrels · 15/10/2021 10:44

Of course you need more leave and you should take your whole entitlement. Even if you feel you cannot take full weeks off, you can have long weekends.

You have 5.5 weeks. So I’d say you should have 1 week over every 3 months (March, June, September, December) then split the 1.5 weeks into days and take a long weekend or even just a Friday off in between those times.

hamstersarse · 15/10/2021 10:44

[quote CurlewShirley]@hamstersarse yes this what I have been wondering, I think it was the bullying from 2 colleagues, one the same level and one above. I feel ground down and am not the same person I used to be.[/quote]
Honestly, I think it is time to leave. That's OK. It's not failing. But sometimes it is good to just get a fresh start.

And do some work on reminding yourself of your strengths.

Even from this post, it is obvious you are highly conscientious - and this is the personality trait that is most highly valued by all employers. You get shit done.

Original poster
CurlewShirley · 15/10/2021 10:51

Ok thanks everyone, will use some leave to job hunt I think.

OP posts:
hellosunshineagainx · 15/10/2021 10:59

I'm a freelancer so the only holiday I get is 3 days at Christmas 🙃

GoldChick · 15/10/2021 11:00

@CurlewShirley

Ok thanks everyone, will use some leave to job hunt I think.
That sounds good. You sound like you care about your job and service users/clients so you will be a real asset to another employer.