Choosing a new working pattern when returning after baby

[SunSparkle]

Hi

I worked 35 hours a week Mon-Fri (9:30 - 5:30, hour unpaid for lunch) before going on mat leave. I'm now trying to decide what will be best for when I go back to work. Ideally I will keep my whole salary - that makes a difference for us each month after childcare of £200 ish, versus dropping to 4 days. My options are:

• 10 days in 9. One day off a fortnight with baby. Partner will do the same. Minimal impact to daily working hours.
• 5 days in 4 - quite long days, might burn out trying to do fulltime hours in squashed days. Partner could keep standard pattern but would miss one day a fortnight with baby. Would I resent him for his more relaxed working?
• drop to 4 days and 80% salary. Would lose the extra money each month, but I'm worried I will miss my baby and this would allow me a full day each week without being super stressed about work.

My MIL has offered one day a week care, so baby will be in nursery for 3 days a week with any of these options.

Also, how do you choose which day to have off? MIL wants to do Monday or Thursday care. Is it better for her nursery days to be back to back?

I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed. What did you choose to do and why was it best for you and your family?

Your 10 days in 9 sounds like a good option for the reasons you mentioned. I guess the only consideration for you would be contingencies, as soon as they start in childcare they will unavoidably pick up bugs and spend time off nursery- will you and your partner be able to take time off whenever needed? My partner just couldn't so it always ended up being me, I changed jobs instead so that I had lots of flexibility. Not happened lots over the years but enough that my previous job would not have been cool with it, we don't have anyone else we can call on.

When I returned after DS1 He did 2 days with Mil - Monday and Thursday and 3 days at nursery.

I reduced my day by having a 30 min lunch break instead of 1 hour, I now do 34.5 hours a week (he is in school) I work 9-5 M-Thurs with a 30 min break and finish at 2 on a Friday so I can collect him from school.

It seems to be perfect balance as I'm not trying to fit in 5 days of work in 4, and also get to spend time with him on an evening as if I worked longer days I'd get home and he would go straight ot bed.

I did 5 days in 4 and DP did the same, so we had DS in nursery 3 days a week.

I think your commute will make a massive difference to whether it was doable. With nursery drop off and commute, I left the house at 7:00am and got home at 18:30. Then we needed to do dinner, bedtime etc with DS and wouldn't actually sit down until 8/9pm, when it was nearly bed time. To be honest, I was exhausted, but I really valued the time with DS on my day off.

If you could outsource other things (cleaning/ gardening etc) it would be even better, our house felt like it was constantly in a state and we were too exhausted to get anything done on working days, so weekends felt like a mad rush to get on top of everything.

Don't forget that your proposal also has to work for your employer. So which day would work best for your organisation/team?

We both did 10 days in 9 and it was fantastic.
Now we have DC2, DH will continue 10 days in 9 and I’ll probably do the equivalent of 9 days in 8.

Thankfully I work from home (was on a homecoming contract before corona as I relocated from london to Sheffield. I work for a charity who are very good with flexi working so they are open to any of the above requests which is good. My partner has the same contract and supportive work environment albeit a different organisation. Walk to nursery is 8 minutes for an adult or 15 minutes with a toddler walking (I reckon!)

Glad to hear 10 days in 9 has worked for so many people. Although a day a week with her sounds nice I think the compressed hours would burn me out and the loss of income and being the parent with a day off each week might mean more mental effort becomes assigned to me as ‘you have a day off each week’

MIL has offered Monday or Thursday so I was thinking:

Monday : MIL
Tuesday Wednesday Thursday: nursery
Friday: alternates between me and my partner

@De88 good point about flexibility for time off. We’re both lucky to be quite flexible but also the other grandparents that are local are able to help with the odd pickup and afternoon here and there for illness but aren’t in a position (and I didn’t expect any help from grandparents when we planned having a child) so if we were in a pinch they could pick her up and sit with her if she were unwell. I appreciate how lucky we are to have that support and it was a big reason for us leaving london behind.

Think about the impact of bank holidays on part time working - if lots fall on a Monday, you might have to use up holiday to get the full day Off as you'd only be entitled to a proportion of each bank holiday. I think maybe you'd just get standard day off, and have to make up the extra compressed bit of the hours or something.

I have ended up 4.5 days working a wk- that half a day with my children saved me and I lost 2 days in my pay which was workable

Our nursery's policy is that if they have a temperature they can't return for 48 hours. So we chose Mon, Weds, Fri for nursery days to limit the chance of wiping out a whole week's attendance with one high temp.

Also ds gets really tired after a day at nursery and needs a lot of downtime the next day. Three consecutive days would be too much for him. (But you know your child best!)

I do 4 days per week which I love. You say that doing a 9 day fortnight will have little impact on your working hours but don't you need to do about 30 mins extra to acrue it? Doesn't sound much but are you paying for extra nursery hours to allow the longer days/ going to have very stressful rushed evenings? I finish at 5:15 and by the time I get home it can be a real challenge to have dd in bed for 7, which she desperately needs because I have to wake her at 7 on nursery days.

I also think that it benefits my dd to have a 'rest day' in the middle of the week, so I have Wednesday off. Nursery if very full on for her - whcih she loves, but does tire her. She goes to my parents 1 day but again they do like to take her out, so I think she likes to chill with me!

Unless you a clock on/off type of job (retail, health/care sort of thing) then 80% contracts are a bit of a scam. Your employer won’t recruit anyone to cover on your day off which means you’ll be doing 5 days in 4 but on 20% less pay. Seen many friends fall foul of this. You either need a true part time job/job share and accept the loss of income, or a full time job with flexible hours. Sounds like both of you being on 10 in 9 would work well.

I personally would always have Monday as a non-working day - if you work a part-time pattern, your bank holiday allowance is usually pro-rata’d and added to your leave allowance, and you book leave for bank holidays that fall on days you normally work. So it is usually more advantageous to have Mondays off.

I don’t know if this is applicable with a full time compressed pattern. But you might want to look into it.

I have tried 4.5 days compressed into 4, and I currently work a 7 day fortnight (I have one day at home per week and DH and I alternate the other).

The former was better for me in terms of not being viewed as part-time at work. 4 days is fine, but as soon as you drop to three working days, regardless of actual hours worked, I found there was a perception that you were part-time - “oh, Whiskas is part time, you know” rather than “Whiskas doesn’t work Fridays”.

The latter works better for us in terms of childcare at the moment. Because of the cost of childcare and the commute, I would only just break even if I worked 10 into 9 so I’d rather have the extra day at home. But that’s personal choice - everyone is different.

I personally would always have Monday as a non-working day - if you work a part-time pattern, your bank holiday allowance is usually pro-rata’d and added to your leave allowance, and you book leave for bank holidays that fall on days you normally work. So it is usually more advantageous to have Mondays of
nope- in my company is thats your day of then the bank holidays make no diff- never choose a monday

@Findahouse21 It's an extra 45 minutes a day. If I reduce my lunch from 60 minutes to 30 minutes then it's an extra 15 minutes a day. Our nursery is open 8-6 and that's their full day rate whether they do 10 hours or 9-5. I plan to do drop off, and my partner do pick up so we've some flex to work a little bit of overtime if required here and there. We also were both starting work officially at 9:30 and we will bring that a bit earlier so hopefully we can pick her up closer to 5pm than 6pm. It's a very local nursery (8 mins walk).

A rest day for her is a good consideration. I hadn't thought of that before.

@TellMeSomeGoodNewsPlease this is what I was worried about. Everyone I've seen do it just ends up working on their day off or in the evenings and don't get the money. I imagine when my daughter is school aged I will need to change things up again but for now, I'd like to get paid for all the hours I will be putting in and for my partner to take an equal 'compromise' on his career too. We are very equal parents and I'd like that to continue.

Can someone help my tired brain figure this out e.g. not putting nursery days back to back, us not being off Monday's because of bank hols etc...MIL can do either Mon or Thurs.

Mon: MIL
Tues: nursery
Weds: me/partner
Thurs: nursery
Friday: nursery

OR

Mon: nursery
Tues: me/partner
Weds: nursery
Thurs: MIL
Friday: nursery

Are Tuesdays/Wednesday's ok days to have off? I'm thinking Weds might be better as it helps break up the week or will it be disruptive to the working week?

Is it really important to break up a run of nursery days?

I dropped to 4 days with Weds off to break up the week. Works for me but I am ruthless at making sure I only do the 4 days work I am paid for!

I do 4 days. Mon off. Tue-thur with grandparents. Fri with hubby. Better to have days back to back for their routine.

I’m 90% sure I’m doing 5 days work in 4 but I wanted that day off. I negotiated for the same full time pay of my previous job.

If they insist on full time in the future, I’ll do long days across the 4. Will make little difference but I’ll get a 20% payrise.

We never did Monday at nursery because at ours,you pay for bank Holidays even when they're closed. So we decided it was more cost effective to have him there Tuesday, Wednesday and Friday (for us)

If you’re salaried then definitely don’t go down to 4 days. They’ll just make you do 5 days work in 4!

If nursery contract is pay for bank hols and you get them off anyway then I’d be inclined to do a different day in nursery.