Reassure me please - feeling of impending doom

[ChubbyScotsBurd]

I go back to work in under 2 months out of necessity, and DP will become a SAHD. DS is currently 4 months. I have found myself pretty much following attachment parenting principles (at DS's insistence!), with the result (or maybe it would be this way anyway) that DS is very clingy and close to me. He also loves his dad but needs me for bedtimes/naptimes to feed/rock him to sleep. He's funny with anyone else, and is grumpy and whiney when alone with DP.

I'm trying not to worry because he could be totally different in 2 months but DS is a particularly difficult baby, very sensitive, alert, easily overstimulated and really struggles to relax enough for the sleep he really needs to avoid meltdown. I feel that I am the only person at the moment who really understands/reads him well and responds to his needs. Whenever I have left him with DP (at least once a week) he usually ends up having to walk the town with DS in the pram or sling howling.

I'm sure loads of people have been here and survived and I also know I might be worrying about nothing but if anyone has any experiences to share I'd be really grateful, am just having a bit of a wobble

hey CSB I just came across your thread and wondered how you're getting along. Your opening post could be my current life dilemma...

My DH and i have always toyed with the idea of him being a SAHD and he even did it for a 6 month stretch a few summers aso when our DS was 2 years old and it worked well. But then he got work and I went part-time again. I just had a DD who is now 3 months old. The day we recently completed on our new house (previously renting) my DH got notice of redundancy We have known this to be possible for a while so DH has been unsuccessfully looking for work, yet my employers have offered me to return to work on a full time contract. This would mean we are better off financially and we could take DS out of nursery. DD would never have to go to nursery either if DH was at home. DH is thrilled (he never liked his job anyway).

So, now it is all panning out just like we planned, why do I feel so sad about it all? I have always been career orientated and really wanted this opportunity. Now it has been offered on a plate I don't know if its what I want, yet we don't really have another option. I'm going to have to give up breast feeding, going to toddler group, meeting my mummy friends...