Is it doable?

[Rosebel]

If you have a young child who's likely to need hospital appointments (nothing life threatening thankfully), how possible is it for both parents to be working?
I work part-time but have been offered a full-time position but have been told today that my son is going to need physio and speech therapy.
I'm assuming that (given DH also works full time) it isn't possible for me to go full time? Or has someone managed it? If so how was it fitting in work, hospital appointment and the exercises to do at home?

I think it could be very difficult, can you say what your son's condition is as this may help others comment based on the intensity of treatment he needs?

If one of you can work part time, I would suggest that is preferred

I have a dc in this position and we are 20 miles/an hour from the hospital so a 1 hour appointment takes a half day minimum.

Most of his appointments are on the same day of the week and initially we were having weekly appointments so I work 4 days and take that one off. For appointments on other days either dh or I take annual leave. It works okay. It got harder during Covid when the weekly clinic stopped and appointments were on random days, and if you have no regularity of appointment time I imagine it would be really tough.

Can you negotiate compressed hours or flexi, or would that mess up other arrangements? (I can't do compressed as can't get childcare to work)

We have about 20 mins of daily stuff to do at home which we do after breakfast.

Depends on your jobs, but for us you share the appointments 50:50. You both have honest conversations with your employers and request flexible working / carers / dependants leave. You don't abuse any good will in addition to this your employer might offer (my local line manager, will just say, it's fine, just go...), you make up the extra time or offer to pick extra up for others when you can. Very very occasionally if I know it's a routine appointment and I didn't have any questions then grandparent might take them. Take them straight back to nursery/usual childcare after appointments even if it barely seems worth it. It's hard work, and can feel relentless but doable, especially if it's something which is likely to resolve itself longer term as child grows.

With the full time job I've been offered it's a totally new company and feels like I would be taking the mick to ask for flexi or compressed hours before I even start.
It won't be forever (well I really hope not) but he's very behind in his development. We're also waiting to see a paediatric doctor so hoping we'll get some answers.
I've been at my part time job for 3 years so guess I'd be able to use annual or dependants leave.
Just a bit upset as I really wanted this job and am now feeling a bit rubbish that I didn't notice my son was behind to the extent he needed extra support.

congratulations on the offer! i would ask anyway as they obviously want you and its not beyond the realms of reality that they know what 'real' life can be like, best be up front but say how much you would love to work there etc. I wouldn't say the bit about how you're not sure about his development though (hope it goes well BTW ), just say it's bit of physio he needs for the foreseeable?

I'm in a similar situation in a way, with a few kids and there's always something going wrong. I have to say I've just gone up to 4 days pw as they're all in secondary now, and I flexi it out as and when I need to as I thought it wasn't going to work going ft. which kind of undermines my first point I know.
but do ask!! there might be a solution.

I too would definitely ask. They might be absolutely fine with it.

And don't feel bad about not noticing. None of us have had any comparison kids available over covid, especially if you're a FTM like I am how could you possibly know!

My DS saw OT, SLT, physio and paediatrician between the ages of 2 and 5.
My OH works away from home so the most practical thing was for me to use half day AL for DS appts.

I'm nearly full time and used to have many many hospital appointments for my son when he was a baby/infant. They were allowed, im his only parent so my boss kind of had very little choice as I couldn't always make his appointments outside work time, however it wore thin on my boss fast and I was made to feel like I was taking advantage. In fact I've been made to feel horrible for having to be a mother to my son in times of illness etc. Luckily he is a much healthier child now so absences are extremely rare but I am still made to feel shit if he gets sent home from school (primary age child).
I've been there many years now so I try not to let his criticism upset me anymore but it does make me worry about any new potential employers attitude to child related absences. I'm not going to lie I am made to feel a nuisance and when its related to your child and something you have to do it really isn't nice being made to feel that way. I am certain if they could of found a way they would have got me out, but it would have been obvious and they'd have been in trouble.

I'm not sure but I think it would be expected that both parents take leave and share medical appointments for a child so it isn't just one parent taking all the time off. That's the impression I've got at my work from colleagues with families

Deff speak to the potential employer - give them the option to be flexible rather than assuming they won't be. It could even be that they reduce your hours a little bit you still don't miss out of the opportunity.

Also don't be upset for not noticing
My son was very behind in development and has struggled massively with his learning. He is under CAMHS and undergoing autism screening however all of a sudden his really improved out of nowhere. It doesn't take away all those years where he really struggled with his learning and development. He moved up years and basically stayed at no more that year 1 level at best. However his current improvement does make me believe sometimes we can't put a time on these things and kids develop in their own time.

I hope your child gets the help they need, but hopefully things will improve over time. Don't beat yourself up