Returning to work after cancer

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Just looking for some advice/perspective.

I’ve returned to work after being away for just under a year for treatment for cancer. I am trying to bring myself up to speed and deliver etc. So far I’ve had good feedback but I have actively had to seek this out and I am very rarely asked how I am from a health perspective.

My employer has enabled a phased return which has been great. I am still WFH as are most of the rest of the team. So it’s not an exception for me to be doing this at the moment.

I am in a management position so I didn’t expect a lot of support but I am basically being left alone with no direction, no invitation to meetings and little in the way of catch ups with my manager. My induction was completely self led and I had to scroll through other staff members diaries to try and get up to speed/work out what has been happening.

On the one hand I welcome not being overwhelmed and would not want to be going straight to 100%, but I am also beginning to feel left out and not part of the general team. To clarify, I have proactively tried to enable this but my emails are either ignored/not responded to or I am told we will get to it.

They have also just created a new team and when I asked about it as there seems to be some confusion I was told that as I was off when they decided it they hadn’t thought about my team. Telling me had I been here it might have been different but I wasn’t here as I was off unwell so it was happening and that was that. I genuinely don’t think it’s personal and my team/I haven’t been thought about but it is very unsettling as there seems to be overlaps. When I asked for more clarity I was just shrugged off.

Are there any strategies I should be using here, anyone got any tips on how to navigate this type of situation? Thank you.

Are you public or private sector? How large is the employer? Is there a proper HR team? Have you had any occupational health input?

Public sector, large employer (over 1,000 staff), yes there is an HR team but so far only engaged by email and have given me repeat incorrect information. Met with OH once, was meant to meet again but they haven’t progressed organising this, was meant to happen almost 2 months ago. I keep reminding them but can’t refer myself.

Thanks for considering my post.

Oh goodness that's frustrating. Have they always been so disorganised?

It doesn't sound malicious but I can absolutely see why you're starting to feel left out - isolation is the natural result of all this.

I would consider having a chat with Acas simply to get a feel for how to approach HR to get some of this stuff resolved. They have a duty of care to you. It's a bit questionable that they haven't sorted OH when you've been out for a year and reasonable adjustments may be in point. You might have been lost in the paper shuffle though in an organisation of that size - there isn't much you can do except keep chasing, perhaps follow up with a phone call? Or ask for a meeting so there is time set aside for them to discuss.

www.acas.org.uk/absence-from-work/returning-to-work-after-absence

You can apply to Access to Work directly yourself if there's anything that scheme might help with. That could be something to have ready if for example the situation with WFH is likely to change but you will still need things done differently.

www.gov.uk/access-to-work/apply

Remploy deliver the Access to Work mental health scheme. I know that wasn't why you were off but it might not hurt to at least have a look at things like that in terms of taking care of yourself through the settling back in process.

Couple of observations from going through returns to work after long health absences:

• People often don't realise how difficult it is to rejoin the workplace. Because you're not "new" they forget that things have changed and you need information - to you it is like being a newbie, but to them you're a familiar face who doesn't need an induction. They just sort of assume you will pick up where you left off like you'd been on holiday and forget to share information on changes. Gentle nudging can help, don't feel bad about it. Approaching things in a similar way to when settling in to a new workplace can also be useful - in many ways it is new.

• Although it's not very helpful, being left to get on with things usually means they have no concerns and are happy with you back and how you're performing. They haven't thought about some of the things that you're struggling with because they're comfortable you'll be fine. If they weren't happy, they'd be monitoring.

• Putting as much focus on rebuilding / renewing relationships as the actual work itself can really help. If you're working remotely could you put 1-to-1 video calls in the diary to catch up with key people? Are there people where you could set up regular calls? Don't be afraid to engage in the non-work parts of conversations or setting aside time to simply catch up, that side is valuable.

• Following on from that - ideally your manager would have initiated but you could ask them to put regular calls in the diary / send an invite? I hesitated for a while and then did this with my manager and it was one of the best decisions I made. I hesitated because I felt it was a bit forward to initiate and was waiting for them, but on their side they were trying to follow my lead on what was useful so that was a bit of a stalemate!

• Some of this is about visibility and making yourself visible to people again. That will happen gradually, although I appreciate it is frustrating.

• Some of it will also be people taking a step back to try and give you space to settle in without their demands. Last time I found some people almost ignored me for the first few months before starting to engage with me more normally - from conversations with them later on I now understand this was because they were trying to make it easier for me to settle back in without feeling overloaded and also because they had underestimated how challenging it was on my side.

• Don't take it personally. Don't feel you can't access EAP or other talking support outside of work. It sounds a bit deflating? I know for me I had really high hopes for how it would be and what I could achieve once I was back - and a burning desire to feel like the old me again - and it was tough at times that reality didn't meet that vision.

• Some people don't check in explicitly about your health because they're trying to respect privacy and boundaries, without realising it leaves you feeling unsupported. It's a bit rubbish but it's ok to initiate if it's useful to you.

• You're a manager not superhuman. Don't be too hard on yourself and don't put too much pressure on yourself to come back and over-perform to "prove" yourself. It's very easy to return and take on too much because you feel you need to prove your worth again but it's not necessary and will hinder recovery.

I'm a bit tired so that's turned a lot more waffley than ideal, but essentially the most useful things for me were working on reestablishing my relationships and taking charge of the things I needed or wanted to see happen. Giving myself permission to do that was what changed things from 'disappointing' to feeling 'at home' there again.

I hope things start to get easier and better for you. For what it's worth you sound like you're doing well.

@ftw163532 thank you so, so much. Your response has given me so much reassurance and perspective. Thank you for sharing your personal insights and experiences. You have been so helpful and I feel ten times better after reading your response. I hope that you are keeping well and once again THANK YOU x

You are very welcome, I'm so glad you found that helpful.