Is there any way of not having to put baby in childcare?

[ProjectBaby87]

This may have been done to death so apologies up front. I was curious to know if anyone had successfully managed to go back to work after having a baby but not having to put them in childcare? Assuming working evenings etc?

Working around a partner, or having a very flexible self-employed business where you can work only a few hours of your own choice a day, are pretty much the options unless you have free family childcare on hand.

Not sure I'd have the energy to start my own business 🙈

A friend has gone back to work as a paramedic and does night shifts on Fridays and Saturdays. It means her child doesn’t have to go to childcare as her husband is home to have her before she goes to work.

Another friend used to work nights and evenings so her partner could have the kids as a way of saving on child care costs.

The right childcare is a marvellous thing though, my DD’s thrived!

Mmm.....something for me to definitely think about. We're new to our area and just feel a bit out of depth looking for childcare tbh.

@Mybalconyiscracking

The right childcare is a marvellous thing though, my DD’s thrived!

What age did they go?

We don't use childcare, I work evenings and Saturdays and DH works a 8-4 job

I changed jobs and worked Sat & Sun and my DP worked Mon-Fri. Not ideal for family time but after a couple of years I dropped down to Saturday only. Now my children have both started school, I’m looking to go back to working in the week.

I agree with Mybalconyiscracking regarding childcare, but the only way to work when you have a baby is for someone else to be taking care of the baby. That could be Nursery, childminder, family member, including the other parent.
Of course, if you are alternating one parent being out at work whilst the other is caring for the baby, then a) sleep becomes difficult and b) you never see one another / spend time together.

Depending on finance, one of you might be able to work part time - so perhaps do 2 night shifts a week if you are qualified in something that needs night shifts, or even some evening shifts some of the week. Or just Sundays or something if your partner works a regular Mon-Fri, and if that brings in enough money.

@1984Winston

We don't use childcare, I work evenings and Saturdays and DH works a 8-4 job

What hours do you work if you don't mind me asking?

@Mybalconyiscracking

The right childcare is a marvellous thing though, my DD’s thrived!

We used full time nursery but I’ve heard of situations where one parent works days and the other night to avoid using childcare

I couldn't do night shifts but I could definitely do evenings as my husband does bedtime routine anyway. Just makes for a very long day 🙈

I worked nights, my DP worked days.

@Mybalconyiscracking

The right childcare is a marvellous thing though, my DD’s thrived!

Mine too to be fair! She goes to a lovely childminder 2 days a week , she started at a year old and its done her wonders.

If you're feeling out of your depth contact some nurseries/childminders and go meet them and have a look around - we visited a few of each before we decided on ours as I was really really anxious about it too, but honestly, she loves it

We used a nursery for my first and 1yr for my second (he was supposed to start at 9 months but delayed due to lockdowns). We are very happy with the nursery we chose and my kids have thrived, eldest now off at school. I was clear I wanted one with lots of time outside and enthusiastic and caring staff.

My friend worked at weekends in retail, her husband during the week in an office. She got one weekend off every 6 weeks. She now works one day a week and her husband has compressed his other days to take that day off and evening work. Her child has thrived too, her youngest hasn't had the same socialisation yet but that is due to covid.

I've got another friend who worked shifts so only needed a childminder for two days a week, the downside to that was always having to take leave when the childminder took leave.

that was from 11 months for my first, I missed that bit.

I know a couple who are both paramedics and 2 couples who are both police officers, who largely work opposite shifts (but also have local family to cover clashes), but also rarely see each other!

You could become a childminder or nanny yourself? Your own child would count in your numbers and limit your income though.

Would a nanny be an acceptable firm if childcare for you?

I haven't gone back to my teaching career yet, taking some time to work out whether I'm going to do that.

I've started some freelance work in a field I used to work in pre-teaching. It was very much luck and fluke that I knew someone who needed the work doing and was happy to put it my way, I've then been able to build on that a little with other contacts. It's nowhere close to my previous salary though.

How we've managed so far is me working in the evening after DD is in bed, and some time at the weekends whilst DH is off. My in laws would also watch DD at theirs for the occasional morning or afternoon whilst I worked upstairs - they're not comfortable having her alone but don't mind as long as I'm there in an emergency.

It all got too much though and we've just started with a childminder one day a week, which I'm intending to increase to two. Shes fantastic and I wish we had done it sooner! I asked on a local mum's group for recommendations which is how I found her, she only had availability one day a week though that is increasing when one of her current clients moves house in a few weeks. Pretty much anyone decent was booked up ages in advance. Nurseries also had huge waiting lists for the good ones, I didn't feel a nursery environment would quite suit DD yet though, I wanted more of a home from home setting for her and so far she's loving it.

I work for my local parish council and it’s completely flexible bar a once monthly parish meeting. I do twenty hours and started when my daughter was 7 months. She does do two mornings at nursery now (although I use this time to do errands quite often as my husband is deployed). My daughter can come with me to work for most things (such as my weekly asset inspection) and then the rest I do when she’s napping/in the evening. It isn’t easy though as my husband is on a long deployment so I’m pretty exhausted

DH works shifts and I WFH around his schedule. This only works as my job consists of things I can do in my own time e.g. emails, writing, proofreading etc.

The lowest paying of us gave up work for a few years til the youngest started full time at school. He is now self employed and works weekends & 2 weekdays days. I've compressed so I now do 4 days in 3 and do 3 long days whilst DP is not at work. It works ok for us although we struggled during school closures and ended up using grandparents to cover my working days.

Is there a reason you don't want to use childcare? Without it life could be difficult. It's not impossible, but depends how much you value family and couple time (and if you can afford it).

If you don't want to use childcare but go back to work then the only option is for one of you to be at home while the other is at work.

As someone who did become a SAHM for a few years after dc2, be very careful about making choices when thinking about a baby, who will be a toddler a very short time after you would have returned to work.

Fitting wfh around a baby who is stationary and naps is very different to fitting round a toddler who can run / climb and doesn't sleep for very long in the day.

Being at home all the time for a baby who just needs you is different to being home all the time to a child who wants to interact with other children.

My partner works 3 shifts. So I do a very early Sunday morning and then pick up available shifts during the week that work round his shifts. Some weeks I do a couple of early mornings if he is on late shift. Or I do a couple of evenings if he's on days. Now my kids are in school I'm start part time 9.30- 2.40 2 days a week and Sunday morning.