Has anyone regretted giving up work?

[Crazymummyto4]

Since I returned to work a couple of months ago following my maternity I have dropped my hours to one day a week. I love the job, but it's very busy and so much more than one day a week so I'm finding that emails, phone calls, extra little visits into work etc are creeping in to every day so I'm effectively doing the same job I was before but on half the pay. At the moment it works for us though as I can work it round my husband's hours so we don't have to pay for childcare.

My husband has been offered a new job which is no longer shift work, meaning we would need to put our children into childcare and get a dog Walker for the day we both worked. We would also not have any childcare provision for our eldest who is at high school but had SEN so can't be left in the house on his own. If I left work I would be able to claim Carers Allowance for our son and we would be in the same financial position as we would if I continued working and paid for childcare. I know that the sensible decision would be for me to leave work and be there for the family rather than trying to spread myself too thin across many areas, but it's a big decision. Has anyone else been in the same position and given up work? How has it worked out for you?

I met a woman recently who is up shit street because although working she had a low paid it'll pay for the holidays type wage. Her husband has had to medically retire leaving her the sole earner. They are having to sell their house. They didn't think it mattered that she gave up her career.
Do you have a professional job? Keep your hand in. Not a professional job? Still keep your hand in because it's easier to up your hours from an employed position.

Yes I regret it. Low paid job but it’s ruined my future as I’m unemployable now.

At the time it made sense. No childcare, non sleeping baby.

I wish I had powered through the difficult times and carried on working.

Hang onto your job, even if at the moment it makes things harder overall it’s better.

Totally agree Mol.
I did the same. In the end, I didn’t return to teaching, fell ill and have been screwed ever since!!

P.s Mol, I’m sure you aren’t unemployable.Transferable skills etc??

I had a 5 year career break when the kids were in primary.
It was absolutely the best thing for DHs career, and for the kids. As they reached the top of primary, I wanted more. I've gone from a 45k job to spending a year to get an interview and am now earning 16k. If anything happens to DH, we are scuppered. My mental health is better off working.

Could you maybe work 2 short days (school hours) to increase your hours more, bit still be about for your oldest? How would that look with nursery fees?

I wouldn't give up such a part time role, especially if you've been there a while. Could you request to do two short, school-hours days instead so that not wraparound care was required?

You work 1 day a week OP- I don’t think it’s a huge jump to stop if that’s best for you and your family.

I gave up a job I loved when I had dd2. Am now working again and happy in my job but I'll never be able to go back to that sector and the job I had. I kick myself daily.

If not working suits you and your family at the moment don't work. There is no more important role than that of a mother.

Op please don’t give up your job. Finding one that allows you the flexibility of one day a week is gold dust.
Is there any way you could work from home some of the time, or stagger starting times so that you’re always there when DS1 arrives from school?
Also, maybe speak to your manager about workload if you’re having to put in more hours.
You never know what’s around the corner

@Lasttimeneveragain

MN is full of women who pay to work, based on some delusional idea that your increased sense of self esteem will be able to pay the mortgage.

I wonder if it is generational. My mum and a lot of women I know her age genuinely couldn't fathom that I was financially better off working part time when I had DS2. Plus I wasn't frazzled and chasing my tale everyday.

MN is full of women who found themselves in dire financial straits after assuming they will never need to work. And end up with partners who leave them, get sick, die, lose their jobs. Or just that having financial independence gives you freedom. But no no, far more important to be mummy

In the last month I know two women in their late 60s who have told me they are retired without a pension and regret getting themselves into that position, and said I am doing the right thing to use a childminder and keep working. Both still happily married but both now having to do jobs they don't love to keep a roof over their heads. It very much depends on your financial situation, but if you don't have enormous savings I would say you need to ride the storm. What I have found helps is to throw money at labour saving areas of your life like a clothes dryer, maybe pay a cleaner for half a day a month to do a blitz, dishwasher is a must, etc.

If I were you, I'd be going in the opposite direction and upping my hours to reflect the work I'm doing actually. Your real problem is your SEN son. You need to find a carer for him to allow you to keep working. I'm sure that's expensive but it must be possible and it's really the sensible decision for you to keep any sense of self and earn any kind of pension.

I gave up work whilst pregnant with my first. I'm really glad I did it. We've had all of our DC quite close together and I'm so glad I've been there to make the most of it.

HOWEVER I did this with a very supportive DH and our finances are shared and transparent. And, just as importantly, I actually wanted to do this. I didn't do it because I felt like I ought to, or because anyone else pressured me into it.