Time out for caring

[Happilybimbling]

DS6 has been diagnosed with a physical disability that may possibly be improved with certain meds but its going to take some time and lots of tests. It has been so emotionally upsetting as currently he can't walk and needs a lot of help to get around due to pain and is missing out on a lot, it is so sad to see him like this.
I am struggling to deal with all the medical appointments, home life including trying keep him in school as much as possible as well as my part time job. I enjoy my job and don't want to lose it and just feel a short amount of time out would enable me to mentally get on top of things, help DS through this tough time and hopefully he will improve and I can focus again.

Does anyone know where I would stand with employment and taking a short time out? I have used up most of my annual leave for appointments so far. I haven't yet approached my manager and wondering
Anyone with experience of this?

*wondering if anyone had any experience of this?

You could take parental leave? www.gov.uk/parental-leave

Thats good to know I have that option, Im not sure 4 weeks would be enough but it would at least help for that time.

Im also worried about the money though, unpaid will leave us very short, petrol costs are really adding up as we're driving to the specialist hospital several times a week, its not local to us but DS needs to attend for testing and consultant appointments.

Not to do with employment but do consider applying for DLA for your son. It's not means tested and is there to support with the additional costs of having a disability (like petrol, parking etc at hospitals) but can be used on anything

Thank you, I did have a look at this but it seems because there is (sometimes) the possibility that mobility will improve with his condition, more often than not DLA is turned down.

@Happilybimbling

Thats good to know I have that option, Im not sure 4 weeks would be enough but it would at least help for that time.

Im also worried about the money though, unpaid will leave us very short, petrol costs are really adding up as we're driving to the specialist hospital several times a week, its not local to us but DS needs to attend for testing and consultant appointments.

If you’re worried about affording it but also want more than four weeks off I’m not sure there’s a solution to be honest?

Borrowing some annual leave from next year might ease the financial burden a bit, if your employer will let you.

You can certainly ask for more than the four weeks parental leave, but I’m assuming you wouldn’t be expecting your employer to pay you for it, so that would probably not be doable anyway.

No not expecting employer to pay, I think I have the two concerns, the time I need to get things done and then the money side. It looks like DLA might be the only option but hard to get.

Ive been at my job for nearly 10 years and this is the only time Ive really needed any time bar the odd sick day. Theres just so much my DS needs at the moment, he can't even get to school because of the pain so Im trying to get a plan in place for home learning or more accessible facilities at school whilst trying to sort out pain relief and testing to help his condition.

Is there a charity associated with his condition...they may be able to help.with transport costs or sometimes there is a social worker attached for children with illnesses and you could apply for help there...I'm clutching at straws but it might help

Ask your employer if carers leave is an option at all. My company fully funds 10 days then part funds 50% a further 20 days. They aren't known for being an exemplary employer so maybe your company may have the same.

I didn't know about ours until I asked.

Alternatively call in sick because you aren't coping and you need time to adjust. Most GPs would be sympathetic to what you're going through and sign you off for a while...although this depends on you getting sick pay as to whether it's a solution.

Ive had a look at HR policies and I think id either get 5 days a year as 'personal emergency' type days or its 4 weeks unpaid leave.

It just all adds to the stress of all the life changes and the emotional drain of seeing him in pain.