Job making me ill (anxiety)

[FelineUK]

The stress levels, at certain times, are so high, I can literally feel my blood pressure shooting up followed by sickness, pounding heart, shallow breathing, and splitting headache. My frustration and anger is at such a high level I'm either going to have a nervous breakdown, heart attack or say something I may or may not regret.

In all my 30 odd years, I have never ever been in a job where I have felt like this before, and where there is hardly any support.

I can't leave because financially it's not possible. I can look for other jobs, yes.. but that will take time at I'm not young. The torture therefore of feeling I can't leave because we can't afford it, yet I truly feel my health suffering, makes me panic and just feel utterly trapped. I almost feel like divorcing my husband just so that I can be away from him and make my own decision to leave without anyone tell me I can or can't. So what's going to happen.. I'm going to have a heart attack.. and then he'll say 'oh, i suppose you'd better resign now'. Thanks.

I'll look for a new job. That's all I can do.

Is it the job itself? Deadlines? Colleagues? Management? The environment?

If you can say a bit more about what is causing the anxiety you're more likely to get help x

If you're looking for other work, you've nothing to lose by telling someone at your current job that you feel like this.
Does your line manager know? Can you ask for a word with HR?
Any chance if reducing hours? Stepping down for a while?
Something needs to change

What's making you stressed particularly? It may be resolvable or not but more info is needed to advise.

Is it a dh problem? He should support you in looking for something new.

Not a solution I know but it's worth (if you can) asking your GP for help as beta blockers like propranolol can be amazing for anxiety. They don't suit everyone but I have found them a lifesaver in some situations. Long term, not a solution as it does sound like you need some time to reset and also to find a new role, but something to consider in general. Sorry you're feeling so rubbish

Sounds like you have a DH problem as well as a work problem.

Can you sign yourself off sick for a week to try to get some space from work? This could help you try to make sense of what it is that's causing you stress (as a pp said, colleagues/management/deadlines).

Your DH isn't being helpful. When my OH was struggling at work I told him that his mental health was the most important thing and we'd struggle with finances if needed to keep him well. Can you sit him down and explain just how big an impact this is having on you?

What do you do?

I feel your pain, I really do. I'm in a very similar situation myself. Reading your post, it feels obvious that you can't carry on like this. The obvious solution is to quit, but I know how hard it is.

Firstly, as mentioned, talk to your GP about sick leave and maybe medication.

If you really can't leave, one thing you can be doing is reviewing your finances, as thoroughly as possible. If you don't have savings, build some up. I can't afford not to work but I can afford a few months off if needed, which helps calm my anxiety a little. Most of my savings come from being very frugal but that buys me peace of mind.

Could you get DH on board with this? Having an emergency fund for (eg) six months expenses is very standard financial advice. I'm assuming he'll be sensible about this but if not, as a PP said, maybe you have a DH problem as well as a work problem.

Take good care of yourself.

How’s it her husbands fault? She says she needs to work for the money. She can’t just quit.

Op you need to start applying for other jobs, it’s the only option. If you can’t survive financially without it, then resigning isn’t the answer.

@Bluntness100 Not the husband's fault but OP clearly feels unheard and unsupported by him, as well as feeling unsupported at work. It's an awful position to be in and a lot of pressure.

Thanks everyone..

Lack of info is to not 'out' myself. I know the only answer is to look for a new job and just try to mentally distance myself from the problems, taking each day as it comes. For me, meds are not the answer, although they can make life a little more bearable, however I will speak with my GP if I feel I can't continue like this, (I know my BP is high) and taking leave will only provide temporary ease. I have a plan and will start implementing it soon.

DH is supportive but being cautious and realistic. We are at a particular crossroads in our lives at the moment so we need to be careful with finances, and savings.. just a bit longer.

Can I ask gently why you're resistant to medication? I take some for anxiety and my bipolar and it's been life changing, completely and utterly life changing.

Anxiety medication in particular is highly effective as it can treat the physical symptoms (heart racing, shaky etc) which can stop you spiralling and allow you to tackle the issue that's making you anxious.

@youvegottenminuteslynn

Can I ask gently why you're resistant to medication? I take some for anxiety and my bipolar and it's been life changing, completely and utterly life changing.

Anxiety medication in particular is highly effective as it can treat the physical symptoms (heart racing, shaky etc) which can stop you spiralling and allow you to tackle the issue that's making you anxious.

Ah, only because I've been on anti-depressants before (to help with perimenopause symptoms) and don't want to go back on them again and have no idea what alternative meds are available for anxiety but I may well have a chat with my GP. My BP is definitely rocketing and the symptoms of that are quite unpleasant. I'd prefer to treat the cause rather than the symptoms and that means getting another job at the end of the day, but of course - do what I can meantime to control the emotions in my current role.

I don't know if anyone else has found that during and after the menopause it's become more difficult to tolerate or withstand certain situations? Something before you could have coped with without any problem?

If you don't want to take antidepressants, then propranolol, a beta blocker, is definitely your friend.

OP please go to the GP!!! Get help. My DF suffered a life changing stroke due his crazily high BP due to stress from work. Please get help and get something booked in.

You may be able to go on sick leave and get signed off?

@NeverDropYourMoonCup

If you don't want to take antidepressants, then propranolol, a beta blocker, is definitely your friend.

This is the medication I take for anxiety and I agree, it's fantastic.

Sounds me like in my job! My heart rate is reaching the 140’s throughout the day and I’m only 26, it’s awful!

Let us know if things get better

My anxiety went through the roof during menopause years. It was definitely something chemical. I couldn't cope with everyday things.

I've just been where you are and in my early 50s, 2 weeks ago I just got a 5 month temp contract and left my terrible job.I will always pick up temp work. My mental health and wellbeing had to come first.im so glad I did it of course its not great ...no security but I'm still earning money being happy and probably increasing my chances of fing a new job. I'm starting to feel like me again

This has been me for the last year or so. A month ago I had a panic attack and literally thought I was dying, went to the GP the next day and was signed off work, given propranolol and another medication two weeks after that, and it has been completely life changing. I had no idea just how ill I have been. Just the relief from the physical symptoms has been amazing. Please speak to your doctor.

Just found this thread. Got signed off today for a month and prescribed propanalol and mirtazipine. My anxiety was horrendous. I didn't eat at all for days leading up to today.

Thanks - I'm going to speak to doc about the anxiety and just hope he can prescribe something to at least deal with the physical affects that can be simply awful and at times quite scary.