How do you deal with being overwhelmed at work?

[Fanfix]

I took on a promotion earlier this year into my former manager's role. I'd been deputising for over a year, had really positive feedback and came into the role with a lot of ideas. My former manager retired so I was taking on job responsibilities from about 6 months before the official date, I knew the job expectations.

6ish months in and I feel like I'm swimming but never quite getting anywhere. I'm working about 10 hours more than my contracted hours a week but the to do list never empties, more just adds on. I'm at the stage where I'm doing the minimum asked on everything just to show willing but I'm just not finding the time to sit down and work things through to the level I want to.

My new ideas have been parked, I'm barely getting through my line management admin stuff, couldn't tell you the last time I looked at my own.

My new manager is very senior (odd structure) and doesn't have a lot of time which I actually saw as a positive - no micromanging etc but now I just feel like every call I'm on with him, I'm dropping the ball or not knowing something because I didn't get to that meeting because I had 3 other clashes at the same time and I'm so embarrassed.

I also have a chronic health condition which so rarely effects work that I've never mentioned it. Until it flared up in a work meeting and disrupted everything - I'm pretty sure I'm becoming more of a hassle than I'm worth at this stage.

I have a session with my manager this week and I really want to have a constructive conversation but at the moment, my head is so full of stuff and I just feel like I need to apologise to him which isnt the positive angle I want to lead with.

Any suggestions?

I’m in a similar situation although nowhere near as senior as you sound!

Can you block out time in your calendar so it doesn’t get filled with meetings and use that time to start getting on top of the backlog? Not an immediate solution but it’s a start.

The meetings that your unable to attend, can you request minutes or action points so you can scan through what came up and just see if there’s anything relevant/requiring your attention?

Are you in a management position where smaller admin tasks should/can be delegated?

Have you got a project plan in place for your tasks? A spreadsheet or word doc where you can keep track of progress and add notes as the work moves forward. You don’t have to know it all off the top of your head, you can just skim the latest entry if you’re asked questions.

Is there anyone else in a similar role who you could buddy with to get some practical tips?

You don’t want to burn out due to the volume of work and the stress it’s causing. It sounds like you’re so deeply buried in the 100 tiny tasks that you’re now struggling to see the woods for the trees. If you can free up enough time to get up to date it might all feel a bit easier to tackle.

Does your company offer training/support? Mine has management and leadership courses, resilience courses etc.

I’d think about reasons you were excited to do the job and what are the things that are getting in the way now. Really try to think of specifics. Is it volume of meetings, are all of them necessary for you to attend? Is this just a WFH thing, if you were in the office would there be less? Are there a lot of small admin tasks that are time drains? Can anything be done to lessen them or make them faster?

Try to go into the meeting with your boss with a positive attitude and some solutions. If you go in saying that you enjoy the role but would love to buddy x or attend a training course to develop your skills it’ll come across a lot better. However, if you’re at breaking point be a bit more honest. Most managers want you to succeed and wouldn’t want to see you stressed and working into the night.

Hope you can find a solution that works for you and that things get better

Thank you for the response @MrsLeclerc so sorry you're facing something similar. Is it a new role for you too?

Some great ideas there thank you. I'm usually really organised and I do have a project plan for everything that's ongoing but I'm just not finding the time to get everything up to date and maintain it.

I'm struggling to work out whether:
A) I wasnt ready for this grade jump and it's just taking me longer to do everything or
B) the fact my previous role hasnt been back filled yet is causing the extra workload or
C) whether I'm doing things I shouldnt/not delegating things i should be.

I think asking my manager what he thinks my priorities should be is a good start. Then again, is asking for his input on that a sign I'm not capable and therefore should just be looking to quietly step back down?!

Urgh, only another 30 years till retirement ...

I’m on a secondment into a higher level role at the moment and I’ve been in post for 6 months.

I spent the first week crying after I finished for the day as I was completely overwhelmed. There was no training, no procedures in place for tasks and communication was poor. I couldn’t eat, sleep, my periods became irregular and my hair started falling out.

I ended up speaking to a counsellor as I was so stressed about what I couldn’t do/get done. She asked why I was carrying such a burden of responsibility when they had a responsibility to train me and support me. I had to visualise work as a heavy coat and remember to take it off at the end of the work day rather than drag it around on my back on evenings and weekends.

I’d imagine the fact that they haven’t back filled your post yet is definitely adding to your load. As you know the work so well it’s easy to think I’ll ‘just do that quickly’.

Is there a way you can find out about how delegation of tasks is handled? I literally had to ask people on the same grade as me ‘should I be doing this, is it in my remit’. It’s annoying and you feel stupid but if you’re not told, you don’t know.

I think only you will know how your manager will react to this. If you’re nervous, spin it as ongoing development as part of your appraisal process at first. Then see what his reaction is and go from there. But they’ve invested in your development, they won’t be eager for you to step down. I imagine most managers would rather support a good worker with fresh ideas and enthusiasm by giving them a little extra help.

Thank you @MrsLeclerc I'm so sorry to hear you were having such a bad time. Has your secondment improved? How are you feeling at the moment with it all?

I'm not at burn out stage yet I dont think. But i can see how quickly i could get there if things carry on as is. I do tend to be a perfectionist and it's hard to work out if I'm making my job harder for myself or maybe this is just what it's like at this higher level and I shouldn't have taken the offer in the first place.

I guess I'm never going to know until I either have the chat or book in a lot of AL to reflect.

I’m just hopping on to say I completely empathise with this. I have recently had a massive promotion and feel like you, completely empathise with not being able to see the wood for the trees. A step back to look at ‘what are my top priorities’ here I think is helpful.

I am doing much better thank you. Mainly because I changed my mental approach to the situation.

I understand what you mean. I’m a complete perfectionist and hold myself to a higher standard than I would expect of others. I like to understand all of the small details but the role I’m in now is very much, play it by ear.

I’ve tormented myself with wondering if I should stay in a job that stretches me mentally but makes me miserable or if I could learn to enjoy it.

Things have gotten easier as every bad day teaches me something else. Even if it’s only who not to go to for advice!

I’m glad you’re handling it ok at the moment. The perfect time to get support is before you feel overwhelmed. The flare up of your chronic condition was probably your body giving you a little warning.

If it was me I’d have the conversation (and I did with my boss eventually) . It was scary but I’m glad I did it. But I had less to lose as I’m only seconded. Listen to your gut.

Good luck for your meeting.

It sounds like it's A, B, and C, along with a hefty dose of you being way too hard on yourself.

Asking questions while you learn the role is positive and constructive, not something to be avoided. Your example of asking about your priorities is useful as you can learn from the response and implement it. That question would only be an issue if you were going to be repeatedly asking him and expecting him to do that for you.

Thinking about my workplace (and my previous ones), every promotion comes with the expectation that people will grow into the role. They are given training, support and guidance, and people look out for and encourage them. Nobody expects it to happen instantaneously on the stroke of midnight on the day the promotion is awarded.

You're probably the only one expecting you to instantly be an expert in it all.

I bet it is mainly B and C.

I am in same position, doing new role and old role till it is backfilled.

Don't be so hard on yourself.

You are in "crisis management" mode until you fill that role and can delegate more.

B) the fact my previous role hasnt been back filled yet is causing the extra workload

THIS - youll be effectively be doing your new job and most of your old. And your old job will get priority because it is where you feel comfortable. Structure the chat around your new aims/needs/desires and how backfilling is required to let you do your job.
Its not your weakness its a structural thing, and then delegate delegate!
Let the person below your old role step up, either officially or not, its not for you to step up to a new role and also step down to your old.

How are you doing @Fanfix? Hope things are easing for you.
I've found this thread so useful as am in a similar position - feel overwhelmed because my old role hasn't been covered yet so I'm effectively been doing too jobs!
I've got another month of it before I get a deputy but trying to hang in there in the meantime.
My survival strategy is to try and not say to say yes to too many things, at work and at home, to try and keep exercising and getting outdoors when I can, and to talk to my boss about it when I can. I haven't done enough of any of these things but I'm determined to this week!

Also hopping on this thread to read for advice and to also say you're not alone.