I want to work but how with 3 under 5?!

[Thentherewere32018]

I have a 3 year old and am due twins by the New Year.
I already dropped a days work when I went back after my son was born & now face the prospect of having to give up work altogether after my twins are born. Childcare is just too expensive!
Any recommendations on flexible jobs that I can do from home that actually pay a decent salary? I was considering doing an Open University course to try & gain some kind of skill that would help but of course that will take time. I like my financial independence & am quite depressed at the thought of having to give up work completely even just for a few years. Especially given the fact I've been working from home since March 2020, I'm sick of being in this house all the time. The prospect of not even having work as a distraction (after mat leave) is filling me with dread. I feel like the joy of expecting twins is being taken away from me 😞

Any ideas?

Thank you.

What did you do before? You cannot work from home with small babies / children in the house, you will still need to find childcare unless you work once the kids are all asleep.

OU is expensive, and you won't have much time to study with baby twins.

With new born twins I don’t think you can do any homework for few years yet. Even if had fantastic evening job you may be so tierd just ready to flop. Sorry that’s not what you wanna hear. How much would you have left over after pay for a nanny or childminder. Would you qualify help childcare on your income levels?

@idontlikealdi

What did you do before? You cannot work from home with small babies / children in the house, you will still need to find childcare unless you work once the kids are all asleep.

OU is expensive, and you won't have much time to study with baby twins.

You can WFH with small children in the house as long as you have a room with a closed door to use as an office and you have someone providing child care, either a parent or a nanny. Ideally the office should have an en-suite so you don’t have to enter the house frequently because that can confuse young kids.

That of course assumes you have a job that allows you to earn enough to have a sahp or nanny which from OPs post she does not, but I just didn’t want that statement to go unchallenged. Both DH and I have very successfully WFH throughout our child’s life. It just requires the right setup.

OP I have twins and DD1 was 3yo when they came along. DH gave up 2 days per week work, I stayed FT, we used nursery free hours that your 3yo should be entitled to, and tightened our belts a lot 😬

Twins started preschool this week - we survived albeit with a fair few more grey hairs!!

After the initial post-birth spell where biology still dominates, the expectation that you be the one to stay home is largely cultural. It might also be driven by disparities in income. However, if you and your partner/spouse earn similar amounts you should definitely consider both working part-time or alternating who stays home for the first few years.

Can you work twilight or weekend shifts somewhere assuming you have a partner and they work 9-5?

May not be what you want to hear, but sometimes working just to pay for childcare might be the solution here. You seek to really value working so might this be an option? If you're going to have to give up work you won't be earning anyway, so why not spend your earnings on childcare but get the reward if a job? This will only be for a few years until the kids start nursery

Try the earn £10 a day thread. Loads of ideas and they all add up

@Driftingblue you still need some form of childcare though

Is the children's father asking himself the same questions?

I did it with 4 kids under 5 and it was the only thing that kept me sane and gave me my own time during those challenging years, the nursery fees meant I barely broke even during that time but it meant I got a kick ass job when they were finally all at school as my cv showed continuous employment - and now life is much easier.

I did 3 days a week part time which was a good balance

@DriftingBlue, but the OP has already said she can't afford childcare for 3.

I agree with everyone else though OP - you are still going to need childcare, even if you wfh or choose to study.

It depends what you already do, what your skills / qualification / experience is. As MolyHolyGuacamole says, if you have a career / a job you have worked yourself up to then sometimes you need to play the long game and take the hit. Possibly talk to your mortgage provider and take a mortgage holiday for a while, or possibly see if you can do it by cutting back for 3 years.

It is hard, but worth keeping your hand in / not giving up your work if that is the case.
Of course, if you currently work in an unskilled / unqualified role, then it probably does make sense to stay at home until the babies start school.
You could supplement your income by working some evenings - there is lots of evening work about, when your dp could look after the dc.

You aren't going to be able to work at home with a 3 or 4 yr old and two babies.

Never ever give up your job or reduce hours solely because you're the mum and it's expected.

Sit down with the dad and discuss how you are both going to tackle it. It is only half your problem; other half is his.

Are you still with the children's father?
Can you work out something together?

I think having twins may come as a shock to the system and you won't be 'bored', more running around constantly 😳

A nanny is cheaper than 3 x childcare. Is that an option?

You can only wfh if you have childcare