As a new mum, whats the point?

[Wheresmrpenguin]

I'm on JSA and bring in £296, but lets call it £300 a month.

I'm really really struggling to find part time work that works around childcare, this hopefully may change soon as my DP is trying to pass his driving test. But once he does he'll likely need to buy a separate car.

I'm at home with my 18 month old after redundancy earlier this year.

But he's my whats the point (Very estimated figures).

If I work around 24 hours a week at a rate of about 10ph, Ill come in with £1000 a month.
Childcare would be £600, i'd come in with £400.
This is account for £100 per travel and extra 1 hour per day for childcare for the pick ups ect.

If I decide to work full time (because im struggling to find part time work)
Then i'd be coming in £400 left over. But at least i'd be in full time work and at least it's a job, but less quality time at home.

I could expand my distance and try to work in the nearest big city which there are loads of jobs, and i'm getting recruiters daily sending good, decent paid jobs over, but then i''d be spending an additional £200 in childcare costs to account for the travel.

So what are my options? With buying a 2nd car for my DP, we're worse off than I would be on JSA. Which runs out in December, so i'm not sure what my options are after this, i'm assuming UC. My savings are going down now too.

This is more of a rant than anything, i'm just not sure where to go next.

@Wheresmrpenguin OP you sound like me when I had my son. If you're ambitious you will find a way. I worked full time, did a masters and volunteered, all with a DH who worked away and lived away from family. It meant investing in childcare and doing a lot of reading on my commute! But honestly it was fine, the benefit of going all in as that by the time my children (I had another) were in school and more aware of everything I had gotten myself into an excellent career, making good money with a lot of flexibility (which you really need in the school years, more so than the nursery years). We've spent tens of thousands on childcare, there were times I was working full time to only bring in £200 extra to the pot a month. But it's that old saying of short term pain for long term gain.

This approach isn't for everyone, but as someone who really struggled parenting in the baby/toddler years (but loving older years) it was the healthiest most sensible thing to do and I'd do it all over again.

[quote namechange7865]@Wheresmrpenguin OP you sound like me when I had my son. If you're ambitious you will find a way. I worked full time, did a masters and volunteered, all with a DH who worked away and lived away from family. It meant investing in childcare and doing a lot of reading on my commute! But honestly it was fine, the benefit of going all in as that by the time my children (I had another) were in school and more aware of everything I had gotten myself into an excellent career, making good money with a lot of flexibility (which you really need in the school years, more so than the nursery years). We've spent tens of thousands on childcare, there were times I was working full time to only bring in £200 extra to the pot a month. But it's that old saying of short term pain for long term gain.

This approach isn't for everyone, but as someone who really struggled parenting in the baby/toddler years (but loving older years) it was the healthiest most sensible thing to do and I'd do it all over again.[/quote]
@MovingSchmoving he does pull his weight, but i'd still be doing 50% of it on top of everything else. Also I mentioned earlier he doesn't currently drive so stuff like shopping, pick ups all comes down to me. He's been learning for 2.5 years now and trying to have his test for the last year but they keep getting cancelled, which is why I need to find work to fit in with childcare. I also don't have family to regularly rely on, maybe 1-3 times a month.

@namechange7865 Literally sounds like me haha my dp is currently making a 1.5 hour commute to work until he can drive, so i feel like a single parent during the work. I really do want a better career, but i think having had a pandemic baby also makes me not want to leave her, but she's also driving me crazy now! I really want her to start nursery too, she's always trying to play with other children when we're out so I know she's ready.

I've had a proper look at the child tax credit, and with me working full time on around £20,000 we'd be entitled to £11 a week, about £550 a year so wouldn't make a slight different.

It's really hard, OP :(

Are there any local organisations that can help you? Our local job centres are doing a lot at the moment helping people to find opportunities and there may be other charities nearby helping people find employment.

It is unfortunate about the lack of option for mums that fit around childcare, but at the end of the day employers need to do what's best of their business and that often doesn't fit in with people needing to work 10-3.

I know your background is in retail but have you considered working at a nursery or primary school, or in social care? They are all options that can be juggled to fit in quite well with small kids, and you will have transferrable people skills from retail.

@onelittlefrog

It's really hard, OP :(

Are there any local organisations that can help you? Our local job centres are doing a lot at the moment helping people to find opportunities and there may be other charities nearby helping people find employment.

It is unfortunate about the lack of option for mums that fit around childcare, but at the end of the day employers need to do what's best of their business and that often doesn't fit in with people needing to work 10-3.

I know your background is in retail but have you considered working at a nursery or primary school, or in social care? They are all options that can be juggled to fit in quite well with small kids, and you will have transferrable people skills from retail.

Not that I can see. My JSA work coaches just say i'm doing what I can and are surprised I can't find anything with my experience.

I guess that's what my rant is about, I just wish there were more options, or some kind of scheme in place to provide support to new mums. Such as the new kickstarter scheme that helps people get into work, but thats up to age 25, and i'm over that.

I did have a look a while back, but they all required some for of qualification in that kind of area, and I'm not sure it's very much. My more recent experience is within finance, project management, admin. I thought i'd be able to find a basic receptionist, admin assistant job but clearly not!

Have you looked at tax free childcare? It is completely different to tax credits, it gives you 20% off the childcare fees bscially - as long as you are both working over a certain number of hours and earning under 100k each.

I actually agree with you OP. I think finding suitable positions when you are a Mom and arent already established in a role very hard. I used to earn £20 an hour full time and had endless benefits. I was then made redundant. I then had my baby around 2 years after but I was never able to get back into the work I used to do. The job I did find when he was 1, and am still in pays me £10 and hour and the benefits are next to nothing. Money is so tight. I am now trying to find a better paid job but am finding it hard too. I do 30 hours but working any more is pointless as after school care eats away all the extra money. I have also been told there is no progression for me in my company so I feel it would be even more pointless working an extra 10 hours a week to bring in little extra.

I also see other peoples points too and agree. I never regretted putting my son through childcare. At its high it was 900 a month! And though I got help it still took a good chunk of my salary. I would always recommend to anyone working and using childcare though as I found it gave me a separation for being just Mom. And in most cases it opens opportunities for you. Just sadly not at my place!

I genuinely feel for you though. And finding the balance is so difficult sometimes. My situation is different though, I've been on my own with my son nearly his entire life (7 years). I have no shared care and erratic maintenance payments that are minimal. I have very little help from family. Was left swamped in all the ex's debt that he kindly left me with. I feel my circumstances make it harder sometimes. I just get by and I dont see a way out. juggling everything and still having any time for myself (whats that) is bloody hard and you are often left feeling what gives.

@Needanewadventure2021

I actually agree with you OP. I think finding suitable positions when you are a Mom and arent already established in a role very hard. I used to earn £20 an hour full time and had endless benefits. I was then made redundant. I then had my baby around 2 years after but I was never able to get back into the work I used to do. The job I did find when he was 1, and am still in pays me £10 and hour and the benefits are next to nothing. Money is so tight. I am now trying to find a better paid job but am finding it hard too. I do 30 hours but working any more is pointless as after school care eats away all the extra money. I have also been told there is no progression for me in my company so I feel it would be even more pointless working an extra 10 hours a week to bring in little extra.

I also see other peoples points too and agree. I never regretted putting my son through childcare. At its high it was 900 a month! And though I got help it still took a good chunk of my salary. I would always recommend to anyone working and using childcare though as I found it gave me a separation for being just Mom. And in most cases it opens opportunities for you. Just sadly not at my place!

I genuinely feel for you though. And finding the balance is so difficult sometimes. My situation is different though, I've been on my own with my son nearly his entire life (7 years). I have no shared care and erratic maintenance payments that are minimal. I have very little help from family. Was left swamped in all the ex's debt that he kindly left me with. I feel my circumstances make it harder sometimes. I just get by and I dont see a way out. juggling everything and still having any time for myself (whats that) is bloody hard and you are often left feeling what gives.

That's exactly it. I think it's quite sad and definitely very frustrating that the main options are to just suck it up and work full time. I think thats part of the problem. I've not had to start doing that, and i'm really struggling with the idea.

I know there are some people out here campaigning for working mums and have created websites for flexible working, but these jobs are unfortunately a bit too high level for me but it's a start.

I'm so sorry it's been hard for you, you've definitely got it harder, and I know of other single mums in the same position.

My DD has been a nightmare this last week or so and I am ready to start work again haha

@QforCucumber

Have you looked at tax free childcare? It is completely different to tax credits, it gives you 20% off the childcare fees bscially - as long as you are both working over a certain number of hours and earning under 100k each.

I didn't realise they were different, how confusing. I'll make a note of it too to have a look when/if I eventually got a job.