I reached my target but can't take the leap to quit

[MorningLisa]

I've been increasingly unhappy in my job for the past 3 (!) years.

I feel like I always slip back to being stressed, anxious and depressed. I think I come across desperate when I interview, so I haven't had any luck in moving. However, I probably only apply for 1-2 jobs per month.

I set myself a target to save up one year's worth of living expenses and then just quit. That has kept me going for this last while.

Well, I have just reached that target and I can't bring myself to do it! I feel sick every time i think about it and what if I don't get another job for ages? What if it's just as bad as, or worse than, this one?

Argh. Is this a pipe dream? Is this just how life is? I don't know how I can spend the next 30 years like this.

Firstly well done for reaching your goal. Have you thought about just taking an interim - perhaps part time - job so you’re still employed and have regular money coming in but something that allows you a bit of a break and headspace from your normal job. Would that feel more comfortable perhaps?

Could you take some sick leave for a few weeks/months to clear your head? And then start applying again?

Leaving will create change, and it is probably not going to leave you in a worse position. But you will have to have a clear plan of action - how are you going to improve your mental health, interview technique, applications, maintain your skills and grow yourself into the kind of role you want. If you are skilled and take an unskilled job then you may find you get stuck there which if its preferable to where you are now is ok.

Generally speaking it's easier to get a job if you have a job so don't quit now. Rightly or wrongly, recruiters often favour people still in employment.

I would strongly recommend some counselling to help you deal with your anxiety around your current job and any future one. A little clear thinking and perspective will boost your confidence as you continue your job hunt.

Another alternative is to see a proper hypnotherapist to help you cope with interview nerves. It was very helpful to my DH when he was made redundant after 25 years and was stressed out about the interview processes he had to go through. He sailed through them and at the end of three months had his choice of 4 jobs.

Well done on saving as much as you have. That's a tremendous achievement. With that level of determination I am sure you will reach your goals soon.

Can you articulate what's really holding you back? I stuck out a job for years through misplaced loyalty and a feeling that it would somehow be a failure if I left. Both were nonsense.

Now you have the money saved... just plod along for now looking for your dream job. And just think when you are stressed/anxious they are lucky to have you as you have the money to leave if u want to ;-).
Spin your perspective and it will help you.
I do it hahah.