Manager asked when I'm planning a second child

[Freshair87]

Hi all

After some advice, as google is just giving my answers from an interviewee perspective.

Returning from maternity leave soon and like many have put in a flexible working request, part has been accepted and part has been rejected. I am ok with only part being accepted but after a meeting about the request my manager (disguised as friendly chit chat) asked me when I'm planning another child (we do not have a friendly relationship) which I am really annoyed about and can't help but think this has influenced their decision (I answered I hadn't thought about that).

I mentioned my concern of this being asked to HR who have asked me to have a call with my manager and their manager to discuss the reasons for rejection, but I want to convey what poor form this is from a company who promote inclusivity, what's the best way to go about this? Any good wording or legal facts I could mention? I'm not great on the spot and don't usually convey everything I want at the time so looking to be as prepared as possible.

Many thanks in advance for any help you're able to give!

Didn't want to read and run. You will probably have some constructive points given when the working day has ended and people have time to help.
Good luck, this would not be tolerated in my company and, I believe, is against employment law! However, I do not have the relevant section to hand.

Have you spoken to ACAS? They're quite good, especially when you're still on maternity.

If I was you, if you do go onto have another, don't tell them until you're 25 weeks.

I am under the impression this shouldn't be asked. However l don't think there's a need to speak to ACAS about it.

Find out for sure however l would be inclined to say the question made you feel uncomfortable and you will not be discussing it further.

I had a manager once asking me that. I replied back: are you volunteering to be the father? Unless yes, than this is a highly personal topic which I'd rather not discuss in the office.

Some great replies, thanks all!

My reply was with you? Never your not my type.....she was horrified apparently that wasn't what she ment

@Theunamedcat brilliant

after a meeting about the request my manager (disguised as friendly chit chat) asked me when I'm planning another child (we do not have a friendly relationship) which I am really annoyed about and can't help but think this has influenced their decision (I answered I hadn't thought about that)

• it's absolutely none of his business asking you what your future plans are re children.

• it isn't clear from your OP what your flexible working request included and which aspect of it he rejected. It depends if what he rejected is a showstopper to you - does it matter enough to lock horns over? If it is important (even though you've been prepared to accept it) then you'd need to take thing forward in a stronger way. In other words if he's rejected something that's actually quite trivial, going in all guns ablazing is going to be a bit daft.

• if all you want to do is make a point, then you could highlight to HR that he acted in poor form asking you about your family plans when you're certain he wouldn't dream of asking a male employee that question, and that he clearly needs training on what constitutes discrimination under the Equality Act (2010).

• If you take issue with his specific rejection to an element of your Flexible working request, and he hasn't given you sound business justification as to his rationale, then you could say to HR that you have strong reason to believe he has directly discriminated against you according to the Equality Act (2010) and this is further evidenced by his mindset in asking you what your future family plans are, when he would not have asked the same question of a male member of staff. You need to do this in writing direct to HR, not to him, as he'll go into denial and swear blind he never said it. You need to state your desired outcome is to have your full FWR approved and for him to receive training so he treats people equally and doesn't discriminate against women which is breaking UK employment law.

Interesting the assumption that it's a male manager - but as far as I can discern, OP hasn't said this at all.

@daisychain01 thanks so much this is all really helpful

@FawnDrench you are correct my manager is a woman