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Original poster

'You've got lots of experience but...- how to get off this cycle?

12 replies

Maria53 · 13/08/2021 18:29

I've been applying for jobs for 4 months - I've been invited to 4 interviews. I didn't get the first because I had 'excellent experience' but someone else with experience in their industry for their job.

The second interview I had a bad gut feeling about it and turned down a second interview. Became clear the benefits weren't great either.

Third interview I really wanted the job and I cried when I heard I hadn't got it. They told me 'you have great experience and are clearly passionate but it purely boiled down to the other person having more experience in the industry'.

I'm exhausted. I have insomnia and am really struggling with being back in the office full time as well.

Worse I clock watch much of the day now & have no passion for my job anymore. Almost all my colleagues have left. But I feel trapped and I worry that feeling burned out is coming across although I try my best to remain positive. Can someone advise me?

I've even thought about quitting my job. I have a couple of thousand pounds saved but that's all.

OP posts:

Original poster

Maria53 · 13/08/2021 18:29

Also this week I left my purse at a train station and got on the wrong transport. Just not like me at all!

OP posts:

BigPyjamas · 13/08/2021 18:34

You just have to keep trying. The right thing will come along.

It's harder to find a role when you're out of work (or so says almost everyone, I don't have proof of this) but maybe in your case it's worth quitting if you can afford the downtime. Something to consider.

The advantage then being that you're immediately available for your next employer. It's a really busy job market at the moment, so good timing if this was your plan.

Your health and wellbeing might improve, and you might subsequently ace your next interview.

TillyTopper · 13/08/2021 18:37

Personally I don't think you should quit your job without something to go to - your £2k may not be enough to tide you through.

Can you approach the job hunt like a another part time job? Be clinical and organised about it (keep a log, chase up as necessary, write feedback for yourself down). Do you need to increase the range of where and what sort of jobs you apply for? Try and give yourself one or two additional "selling points" so yes someone may have more industry experience but could you emphasis your range of experience, could you do a course to give you another string to your bow.

Original poster

Maria53 · 13/08/2021 18:40

@BigPyjamas I am feeling the toll on my mental health. I'm struggling to keep going. My close colleague just quit with nothing to go to for this reason, she had burned out. I'm about there now but worried how I'd cope financially if I still can't get anything done months.

The issue is that I don't want to just go into the same type of job. Recruiters are reaching out but it would be the same thing, different place. I've been hoping for a lateral move but then keep being told I don't have experience in the industry. How will I ever get experience if I'm not given a chance?

OP posts:

user1471428785 · 13/08/2021 18:58

OP you are not alone, I really feel for you and am in a similar position looking for jobs.I can't understand how there are seemingly so many vacancies yet I can't find a decent job either. The only thing that I can say is that I'm too old- in my fifties- and people don't want to take me on. Background is a professional job I had for years but the passion went out of me and there are all sorts of other reasons I won't go into here but I left 2 years ago. Looking back it feels that it was constructive dismissal but I can't prove this. Got two zero hour jobs as a stop gap in Autumn 2019 and neither could find me work through the pandemic. Yesterday I had an interview which once again was for a zero hours job ( can't get an interview for a contracted job no matter what I do) Interview went well but they actually said when works comes up 'we email it out and it's first come first served.' (Neither of my other zero hour jobs work like this.) So I'd have to be glued to my phone just in case! DH says its the modern equivalent of standing on a street corner waiting for possible work like in the 1930s and to turn it down if offered. I was a bit stunned.
If I were you OP I would contact your GP. You already have insomnia and burning out might happen if you force yourself to keep going. Do you have support? Could you take some leave or sick leave? But don't leave your job unless desparate, sadly I did that and it hasn't really worked out. I'm sorry, that's not what you want to hear I'm sure but it is tough finding a job if not in work. Hope it works out

Metabigot · 13/08/2021 19:23

I was unemployed for four months this year and went to 20 interviews that said no to me.. it nearly broke me and I ended up on antidepressants. I eventually took a junior interim role out of desperation as it paid more than the dole, but I was worried it would downgrade my CV... within weeks I got promoted and am now loving it.

So I have been where you are and felt desperate that i'd never get a job and all I can say is you've got to wait it out... you'll get something eventually and it may not be what you thought it was. I'm actually glad now I didn't get any of the earlier jobs as I'm happy where I am. Not to say I wouldn't have been happy in another role but I've had more jobs where I'm unhappy than where I'm happy.

Original poster

Maria53 · 13/08/2021 19:44

@user1471428785

OP you are not alone, I really feel for you and am in a similar position looking for jobs.I can't understand how there are seemingly so many vacancies yet I can't find a decent job either. The only thing that I can say is that I'm too old- in my fifties- and people don't want to take me on. Background is a professional job I had for years but the passion went out of me and there are all sorts of other reasons I won't go into here but I left 2 years ago. Looking back it feels that it was constructive dismissal but I can't prove this. Got two zero hour jobs as a stop gap in Autumn 2019 and neither could find me work through the pandemic. Yesterday I had an interview which once again was for a zero hours job ( can't get an interview for a contracted job no matter what I do) Interview went well but they actually said when works comes up 'we email it out and it's first come first served.' (Neither of my other zero hour jobs work like this.) So I'd have to be glued to my phone just in case! DH says its the modern equivalent of standing on a street corner waiting for possible work like in the 1930s and to turn it down if offered. I was a bit stunned. If I were you OP I would contact your GP. You already have insomnia and burning out might happen if you force yourself to keep going. Do you have support? Could you take some leave or sick leave? But don't leave your job unless desparate, sadly I did that and it hasn't really worked out. I'm sorry, that's not what you want to hear I'm sure but it is tough finding a job if not in work. Hope it works out

I think you are right about going to see the GP. I have family and friends but I avoid talking to them because when I've struggled in the past my family have taken to relentlessly checking up on me which made it worse.

I don't think I could take sick leave in my job. I'm just back from a holiday and still feel knackered - I hoped it would help. I'm experiencing similar to you with zero hours jobs. There seems to be loads of them now but I need some stability.

OP posts:

Original poster

Maria53 · 13/08/2021 19:47

@JorisBohnson2

This is what worries me - I feel mild depression at the very least.

And the thing is that I don't want to just get something. I want to get a job that I feel at least some passion for because the job I'm in now was 'something' - decent pay, matched my skills at the time when I needed a job.

I keep getting interviews for jobs I would love but ultimately I don't get them. The thought that I need to resign myself to jobs that I can do but don't enjoy while I'm still young makes me feel more depressed.

OP posts:

BigPyjamas · 14/08/2021 11:57

If you're getting interviews I'd say you're almost certainly going to make it.

No one gives interviews to people who they don't think will get the job. So on paper your skills will transfer, and you're getting good feedback so it's just a case of perseverance.

Are you able to do anything to boost your experience for the lateral move? Perhaps an internal project, study a qualification, volunteer in some way? Think about what other candidates might have. We often take people from other industries and what impresses me is people who have a passion for our sector, who can create compelling answers about what element of it interests them, the culture, the tech, the potential etc.

LadyTiredWinterBottom2 · 14/08/2021 17:09

It has taken me 6 months to get a verbal offer. I have had countless conversations and interviews in that time.

Do whatever you need to do to keep yourself match fit. It will be harder to get a job with no current position, you are more likely to take the first thing. Keep telling yourself it will happen and you have choices.

jiskoot · 14/08/2021 19:11

I'm in the same position and it's soul destroying. Have had interviews for the three jobs I applied for, interviews went well and for all three I was told I was second and it had gone to someone with more experience. It's done a real number on my confidence and I've not felt up to applying for anything for a time afterwards. I do wonder sometimes if they've already got someone in mind...? I'm about to apply for another this weekend so we'll see on this one! Keep at it though, as a PP said the fact that you're getting interviews is great, it's just getting past that final hurdle...good luck!

christinarossetti19 · 31/08/2021 16:16

I hear you.

I've been job hunting on an off for a year now (I've had some bits of freelance work so have taken a break from job-hunting for a few months at a time as it was battering my mental health).

This is exactly the situation that I'm in. The feedback that I got on Friday about a job that I really wanted was that I was a 'very, very close second' and that I was 'the stand out candidate'. My interview scored the highest but the person who was offered the job had worked recently in the local area and knew local commissioners.

This wasn't mentioned on the JD/PC and if I'd have known that it was key I wouldn't have applied.

It's ALWAYS that someone else has 'more relevant skills and experience' even if the need for them isn't made explicit at application stage.

My problem is that my area used to be very niche but has become extremely mainstream. meaning loads of people have 'relevant skills and experience'.

I honestly can't imagine a scenario where I'll be the chosen one.

In my 50s, been on antidepressants for years and also peri-menopausal.

I'm not even ambitious really, I just want a quiet little corner somewhere that I can cycle to.

In London, so jobs galore allegedly.

So pissed off and sick of this.

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