Struggling after bereavement

[aloneinthenight]

My.son died 15 months ago. He had been ill for 9 months before that.

Before he was diagnosed I had run my own marketing business for 10 years. However I pretty much had to down tools overnight. A couple of freelancers worked for me so they could keep things ticking over, although my absence and the pandemic meant there was an inevitable decline.

I've been back at work for a while now, managing to keep a couple of clients and get a couple more - not enough though. But my heart's not in it for obvious reasons. I can't seem to think straight anymore, let alone run a business. Also it all feels so pointless and meaningless.

I don't know what to do. I don't know whether to give myself more time or I need a complete change. I don't know what that is or how I go about finding out.

I'm not sure I could go back to working for someone after so long being self-employed, but being around other people might be good for me.

I just wish there was someone I could talk to to help me work it all out.

Help!

I'm so sorry for your loss.

Commenting as I've had a major bereavement though not a child. I've changed specialty since my husband died and have found huge satisfaction in it, I definitely wanted something different. I was lucky enough to be able to afford therapy for 2 years and would highly recommend it.

I wonder if you could think about your skills and move sideways to change the focus of your business?

Oh, I'm so sorry to hear what a tough time you've had. I think you need to be incredibly kind and gentle with yourself and recognise it's going to take you a time to find your new normal. Given your loss, it's totally normal to feel life is a bit pointless and I'm not sure anything other than time is going to change that.

Maybe try not to think in absolutes. It's not clear how much time your business takes but would it be possible to scale back a little and do something else part time? Not necessarily work, maybe volunteering or a hobby that you've always wanted to try. Something that does have some meaning for you at the moment.

I think talking it through with someone sounds like a good idea and wonder if you've been in contact with any support groups, either a local one or national. Ideally you want to look at bereavement counselling in the first instance, I think.

I hope you've got good friends and support around you too.

Thank you.

Finding a small volunteer role might help to give me some focus, thank you.

Sending hugs x my daughter died 12 months ago . I feel the same . You aren’t alone feeling like this .