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Original poster

Should I use child’s disability in flexible working request

28 replies

Morph2lcfc · 12/08/2021 21:07

Child is 11 and pre covid I’d always worked in office and my mum did childcare. Been working from home since March 2020 now due to go back. Work want everyone back in full time, I’d like to do half and half wfh and office which I think they may be receptive to but don’t know for sure till I request. I have an autistic child who is high functioning but severe enough to be in sn school. Mum is getting older and he is getting older so she’s struggling more with him. He’s going to a new school after summer which is too far for my mum to do pick ups and drop offs at. Me and dp can do this between us but it willl be tiring as I also have a 45 min each way commute. I am going to put in for flexible working requesting wfh 2 days office 2 days which I think I have enough to argue a good case that it benefits the business. I’ve never mentioned ds’s autism to people at work, I suppose because life was so hard outside it was nice to have a place where autism/school struggles/sen wasn’t the only topic of conversation. Now I am wondering if I should mention ds’s disability in my request, I’m really not a person that plays the disability card so reluctant but friend was telling me I should

OP posts:

StarDrawers · 12/08/2021 21:09

I'd mention it if they ask why you want the hours. But they will mainly be focused on how it will affect them rather than the benefits to you.

Original poster

Morph2lcfc · 12/08/2021 21:17

Well that’s the thing my main reasons are thst because it’s a 45 min each way commute i tend to start and finish work at my starting and leaving times since I’ve been working from home so I’ve been more productive as cutting out the dead driving time. I can see the advantages of being in the office some times so def don’t want full time wfh, I’m not sure how much ds’s disability should come into it although obviously it would make life easier as im there, maybe I shouldn’t mention it which I wasn’t intending to till my friend who is an employer said i should

OP posts:

fhammock · 12/08/2021 21:29

I think you should mention it. It's the truth! My DS has additional needs. Last year my employer wanted me to change my working hours. They knew DS was starting secondary school and thought that was a good time to change things, she assumed he would be able to be at home alone for a short time before and after school. That's not the case, so I explained the situation and we were able to negotiate a bit.

Alpinechalet · 13/08/2021 01:29

Definitely mention it. Coleman vs Attridge Law www.equalityhumanrights.com/en/legal-casework/coleman-case means it is relevant information for your application.

5zeds · 13/08/2021 01:37

You should be able to get transport to school. Could your mum wait with him for the taxi?

Original poster

Morph2lcfc · 13/08/2021 08:02

He doesn’t want to get a taxi. I’ve also been slightly put off seeing how some of the taxi escorts treated the children they were taking to his previous school. So based on this I’ve decided to take myself as I want a good start at the school. I’m hoping I will be eventually be able to change to transport

OP posts:

vivainsomnia · 13/08/2021 12:07

You mention picking him up. Are you planning to work different hours at home than your hours at the office? If so you need to mention this as this would be instrumental to their decision, ie. they might not have an issue with you wfh but not be happy if say you intend to work 7-3pm to go and pick up your DS when you would normally do 9-5.

5zeds · 13/08/2021 12:14

Depends if it’s a “want” or a “need” I would imagine. Nb you can get petrol paid for the journey if you take him in his own car.

Original poster

Morph2lcfc · 13/08/2021 12:46

@vivainsomnia

No my dp can do pick ups every day wherever I am working as he works nearby and finishes at 3

OP posts:

Original poster

Morph2lcfc · 13/08/2021 12:47

@5zeds

Depends if it’s a “want” or a “need” I would imagine. Nb you can get petrol paid for the journey if you take him in his own car.

Yes I’ve applied to the personal transport budget which pays for petrol

OP posts:

Alternista · 13/08/2021 12:48

Absolutely mention it.

CommanderBurnham · 13/08/2021 13:12

I'd say mention it but phrase it in a way that you think it will help you and the business perform better.

Eg. On the days that I drop DS to school, I will be able to be at my desk at home at this time, likely earlier, and be able to log on earlier etc etc.

vivainsomnia · 13/08/2021 15:32

No my dp can do pick ups every day wherever I am working as he works nearby and finishes at 3
But you say in your original post that the intention is to share it.

Original poster

Morph2lcfc · 13/08/2021 15:55

@vivainsomnia

No my dp can do pick ups every day wherever I am working as he works nearby and finishes at 3 But you say in your original post that the intention is to share it.

I said “the school is to far for my mum to do pick ups and drop offs, me and dp can do this between us”

I am doing all drop offs and dp is doing all pick ups

OP posts:

Original poster

Morph2lcfc · 13/08/2021 17:45

It’s not drop offs I want flexible working for as my normal start time allows me to fit in drop off and get to work. It’s because since I’ve been wfh I’ve tended to start up my computer and do about an hour before drop up then leave it set up while I drop off and am back a lot quicker quicker than if I drive to work. I prob fit in an extra two hours work a day without extending my day at all. It’s a professional job and I’m salaried rather than being paid by the hour

OP posts:

CommanderBurnham · 13/08/2021 20:14

Then tell your employers this, that you do far more work under your proposed arrangement than if you come in.

Can you find concrete examples of how you have been more productive/produced better work at home?

Hardbackwriter · 13/08/2021 20:25

I was told when doing my flexible working request that it should be essentially entirely about why what I was requesting would work well for my team, the people I deal with and my colleagues and how I'd mitigate any potential impact. The only time I mentioned why I actually wanted it was to note why this specific pattern had been requested. I thought that they were supposed to accept or reject it purely based on business fit, not how 'good' your reason for asking is. I also think that your employer might actually be putting themselves in a difficult position if they explicitly, on paper, sign off on the fact that you're working two extra hours a day - it raises a lot of questions about your workload that I imagine they'd rather not have documented! If you can show you've been producing more WFH then I would absolutely shout from the rooftops about that in your application but just saying you've been working two hours longer isn't something either you or they should be celebrating, even if they secretly know and like it!

HeronLanyon · 13/08/2021 20:29

Absolutely mention this. Do not see it as ‘playing the disability card’. It’s simply (huh simply !) the reality of your responsibilities for your child. Your employer needs to hear this and accommodate your request so far as is possible and you need to talk through your careful planning etc. You don’t need to tell everyone and those who don’t know if they ask why you’ve changed hours you can decide to it’s ‘childcare related’ or say more. Whatever you are comfortable with.
Good luck

Aprilx · 14/08/2021 12:27

I see no upside or downside to mentioning it. If I were assessing the request, I would not let it form part of my decision making however, because employers should be assessing request on business merit and business need, not on the “worthiness” of the request. Employers should try to accommodate every flexible working request if they can, however they have no greater responsibility to request certain requests above others because of personal circumstances.

I would focus the request on any advantages to the business or at least why it should not create any new issues.

vivainsomnia · 14/08/2021 14:15

So ultimately, you want to take a 1 1/2 or closer to 2h with walking to the room/teacher etc..., starting to work before most do. It will all depend how important it is that you are available during that 2 hours window.

I don't think the fact that your child is disabled makes any difference. If there are no meetings/customers to answer to during that time, they shouldn't have an issue with your request.

Original poster

Morph2lcfc · 14/08/2021 15:59

@vivainsomnia

I don't think the fact that your child is disabled makes any difference. If there are no meetings/customers to answer to during that time, they shouldn't have an issue with your request.

No that’s incorrect I’m not asking to change my start time as part of the flexible working request I shouldn’t actually be working before the time I get to the office so it’s irrelevant whether I’m a available or not during that 2 hour window as I wouldn’t be expected to be. The position I’m in is a professional position rather than paid by the hour (although we have core hours we need to be available which I am either way) so fwh I actually end up working more hours than I would if I go to the office. Also I’m not just walking my child to the classroom hes in a special school so it’s half hour drive each way

OP posts:

GruntBaby · 14/08/2021 16:14

Mention it. Also check to see if your organisation has a 'carer' policy, as this would apply and could provide added provision, or could link to the flexible work policy in some way.

The key thing is to make the business case as strong as possible. Also make it VERY clear that the wfh is not so that you can care for your child at home. Although (some) businesses have been flexible during the pandemic, this is not typical in normal times and most people have in contracts or have to agree in writing that they won't be doing childcare and work at same time. It's usually fine to have older kids who can hang out in hols without any real interaction at home with you, but looking after small children (and I can imagine children with some special needs) during work time is usually unacceptable, because they're obviously requiring more care, supervision and interaction.

I have good flexible working, but DH didn't used to. When his company was taken over by a new company, with generally less flexibility, he had it written into his contract that he could wfh and be flexible, specifically due to having (1) a child with serious health problems, and (2) disabled wife. However, I should probably mention that he had a shit hot employment lawyer, who negotiated on his behalf + DH's skills are in short supply. Might not work in all fields/jobs! Specifying the reasons also meant the company could point in the future to it being a special case, so they didn't have to allow everyone to wfh.

5zeds · 14/08/2021 16:16

If you already start late to drop him off and dh already picks him up, why does being at home benefit work or you?

User987654124 · 14/08/2021 16:24

Yes.

Firstly, your reasons are genuine and valid. Secondly, having a child with a disability makes life much harder, and the flexible working will make your life easier and counteract that.

I’d go in full (not ‘mention’ something more assertive) and make sure you get it: ‘I need flexible working and to be able to work from home in order to care for my disabled son.’ Don’t excuse it, don’t be meek about it, you deserve it.

Parents having children with disabilities is a regularly occurring, totally natural part of human existence, and we have a duty to make adaptions for both people living with disabilities and those who care for them.

Until as parents we start to be open and honest about the adaptions we need, employers won’t factor it in.

Let us know how you get on.

5zeds · 14/08/2021 16:44

But WHY does she need to do more than have drop off time adjusted for her??

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