Really need help! Do I stay or Do I Go?

[finefatmama]

Please help me decide.

I currently work in a college as a finance so-and-so and commute to get there. I have been offered a job slightly further out (10-15 mins more) as a finance analyst in a new international bank (only because I used to work in the international HO as a financial control person). i ordinarily won't get the chance to move into the private sector at this level coz i've been trying for a while so I think it might be a good idea. my current line manager who's been there for 17years says that I should get out ASAP before i get stuck in this rut. The Head of Finance keeps promising stuff and says not to go but line manager says HoF has himself been trying unsuccessfully to move on for a couple of years now. I genuinely don't want to be stuck in public sector especially FE finance this early in my career.

Here's the problem. DS1 is suspected of having ASD and has been offered a place in a developmental playgroup for 2.5 hours in the morning twice a week. DH and I have flexible working arrangements for 4.5 days a week - mine is compressed hrs and my deadlines remain the same. the new job will not be offering any flexibility in the near future. I don't know how to find someone else to take DS1 to and from playgroup 9.30-12noon once a week to cover up my bit and I feel guilty thinking about a career when the generally accepted position is that I should make that sacrifice and still work in this unchallenging role so that I can get the half day off to do the 'school run'. i suspect that guilt might remain even when he starts primary school.

Can anyone offer some help and advice? Are there childcare options or do I just stay put. I tried getting work locally but the pay is better in the private sector here and they would prefer private sector experience so this job offer gives me a better chance of getting a job close to home in the future. line manager is keen for me to not make the mistake he did and says I have to look beyond my nose but I'm not him. He keeps sayimg there's stuff I don't know. New job is not paying that much more after taking into account difference in travel cost (will be zone 1 instead of current zone 2) and additional childcare costs for half day for two kids under 3.
I tried the SAHM option but got a little depressed and was adviced to go back to work for my mental health so I'd rather be working.

PLEEEEEEEASE HELP! what to do?

I take it your DH is not able to cover?

Who looks after the dc(s) when both you and dh are at work?

They currently go to nursery full time (it's open from 7am-7pm) but we have to reduce at least ds1's hrs and find a way to get him to special needs playgroup.

dh can only get a half day or full day off but not two half days. I can only get a half day off.

anyone?

What would you have done?

please?

have you looked into getting a childminder to drop off and pick up from the playgroup? you could call your local NCMA branch and ask to speak to their network coordinator to see if they know of any local childminders who can accommodate children with special needs. your children's information service should have NCMA contacts and could give you a list of local childminders.

Agree with hellsbells - childminder? Or how about an AuPair - do you have the space?

I personally agree with your line manager and think you should take the role. Whilst public sector is great for family life and convenience/flexible working it's not so great for career progression. Whilst at the bank you will have an excellent career path - and the potential to earn a lot more money (especially in bonuses which you do not get in the public sector).

Also, who knows, the bank may offer you home-working - that certainly seams to be the way forward in most organisations. Get your feet in the door first and broach the subject once you have proved yourself and made yourself indispensible (as I'm sure you will very quickly).

Hellsbells - are you still coming tomorrow night? I have a spare space in the back of the car if you want a lift back [hijack over]

Thanks. I just got a list of childminders in the post today but I thought they only did school runs at the usual hours where the kids jump out of the cars and walk into school (too many movies). They would have to park and physically take ds1 to his session at 9.30am.

We have a pokey boxroom disguised as a third bedroom so we can look at au pair. (another movie/soap theme - sexy french au-pair starts to sleep with dh). So I'm off to the au-pair thread.

I just keep having this guilt trip in my head about trying to progress when I should drop everything and attend to my kids.

MrsRecycle - think you might have confused me with someone else!!

finefatmama - plenty of childminders do nursery drop-offs too, it's worth phoning round the ones on your list and seeing if they can accommodate you. afraid I can't offer much work-related advice - I'm in the public sector at the moment primarily for the family-friendly flexi working aspects but haven't ruled out going back into the public sector once the kids are older. Perhaps it comes down to whether an opportunity like this is likely to come up at another time when it might fit in better with your family commitments in which case maybe you would be happier delaying it for a few years? Sympathies - this perennial juggling act between your childrens' needs and your own is never going to be easy, but do look into whether you can find childcare that could go some way to solving the problem.

er, meant going back into the private sector obviously (curse that third glass of wine!)